Alright so I finally did it. Slept with basebally.
Last Saturday we went on a date and he slept over and let me make this quick...
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
He's a good kisser so it was easy to think that this could have some potential but kissing can't save a small dick situation. Sorry not sorry.
His oral skills also did not make up for the lacking package anddddd to top things off, he's a light sleeper/horrible sleeper. I need it to be 68 degrees or colder to sleep well and he claimed that was cool then kept complaining, couldn't sleep, tossed and turned, and was watching netflix.
DUDE, WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP AND YOU LIVE DOWN THE STREET...GO THE FUCK HOME.
So I wake up Sunday EXHAUSTED and he's adamant he wants to take me to breakfast. Since we weren't getting any beauty sleep, 8:30am off we go, to breakfast.
The entire time he keeps asking me why I am so quiet and what's wrong. I AM FUCKING DEAD TIRED AND YOU SUCK IN BED AND I JUST SPENT THE PAST MONTH TALKING TO YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY.
"I'm just not a morning person..."
^also, v true.
Anyways - he finally leaves and then a few days later I am off to California and he's off to a wedding so that one got to simmer down.
We barely spoke while he was gone which I was hoping would send a clear signal that I am just not that into you.
Nope.
Can't stop, won't stop. Text after text picked right back up and despite my one word answers, he still doesn't get it.
Sadly, I am going to have to verbally break it down for him that we aren't a fit and that I hope to stay friends. True story - I would love to be friends with him - he is a really nice guy. Just not my guy.
After that exhaustive Saturday, I had a first date with someone new. Scientist we shall call him. 36, blonde, blue eyes, golfer, 6ft tall, cute, kinda nerdy, nice.
We went out for tacos and it was enjoyable despite me feeling absolutely wiped. He asked me for a second date the second we both got home and I accepted. So that is scheduled for tomorrow night -- location tbd. He has been divorced for two years so hopefully I can dig a little deeper and see what it is he is after. More on that Thursday.
I have a first date schedule for Thursday. Guy is successful, never married, no kids, tall. He picked a great first date location so I will remain hopeful that it'll be good.
Let's talk about my weekend back in California. I was visiting a girlfriend and we went out - met some cute guys - I made out with one and then finally called it quits and went back to her place, I was super tired so I was relieved we were leaving. She asked me if I cared if she invited a guy she met the following week over. I didn't care at all and proceeded to get into pajamas and pass out in my room.
Then all of the sudden she's tapping me to wake up because her fella is here and he has a cute friend I should meet. So I sleepily stumble up, take out my retainers, and go say hello. Mind you, we took tequila shots so I am a bit fuzzy at this point. The guy seems cute to drunk Elle and so we start kissing. Then we move into my room and before you know it, we are having GREAT sex. He is suave, he is talented, he is BIG.
FUCK YES. We proceed to do this randomly throughout the night into the morning and when it comes time for them to go - we kiss and say goodbye, no strings attached, no numbers exchanged, no names remembered.
This may sound slutty but honestly, it was PERFECT. No drama, great sex, no strings, no effort put forth, no fucks given.
So now my summer goal is to have sex once a week all summer and get back to living my confident, best sexual life.
I finally shed the stress weight I'd gained and I am back to my norm so now I am all about getting back to having fun like I used to in DC until someone legitimate comes along.
LETS FUCKING GO.
xo xo,
Elle
Last Saturday we went on a date and he slept over and let me make this quick...
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
He's a good kisser so it was easy to think that this could have some potential but kissing can't save a small dick situation. Sorry not sorry.
His oral skills also did not make up for the lacking package anddddd to top things off, he's a light sleeper/horrible sleeper. I need it to be 68 degrees or colder to sleep well and he claimed that was cool then kept complaining, couldn't sleep, tossed and turned, and was watching netflix.
DUDE, WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP AND YOU LIVE DOWN THE STREET...GO THE FUCK HOME.
So I wake up Sunday EXHAUSTED and he's adamant he wants to take me to breakfast. Since we weren't getting any beauty sleep, 8:30am off we go, to breakfast.
The entire time he keeps asking me why I am so quiet and what's wrong. I AM FUCKING DEAD TIRED AND YOU SUCK IN BED AND I JUST SPENT THE PAST MONTH TALKING TO YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY.
"I'm just not a morning person..."
^also, v true.
Anyways - he finally leaves and then a few days later I am off to California and he's off to a wedding so that one got to simmer down.
We barely spoke while he was gone which I was hoping would send a clear signal that I am just not that into you.
Nope.
Can't stop, won't stop. Text after text picked right back up and despite my one word answers, he still doesn't get it.
Sadly, I am going to have to verbally break it down for him that we aren't a fit and that I hope to stay friends. True story - I would love to be friends with him - he is a really nice guy. Just not my guy.
After that exhaustive Saturday, I had a first date with someone new. Scientist we shall call him. 36, blonde, blue eyes, golfer, 6ft tall, cute, kinda nerdy, nice.
We went out for tacos and it was enjoyable despite me feeling absolutely wiped. He asked me for a second date the second we both got home and I accepted. So that is scheduled for tomorrow night -- location tbd. He has been divorced for two years so hopefully I can dig a little deeper and see what it is he is after. More on that Thursday.
I have a first date schedule for Thursday. Guy is successful, never married, no kids, tall. He picked a great first date location so I will remain hopeful that it'll be good.
Let's talk about my weekend back in California. I was visiting a girlfriend and we went out - met some cute guys - I made out with one and then finally called it quits and went back to her place, I was super tired so I was relieved we were leaving. She asked me if I cared if she invited a guy she met the following week over. I didn't care at all and proceeded to get into pajamas and pass out in my room.
Then all of the sudden she's tapping me to wake up because her fella is here and he has a cute friend I should meet. So I sleepily stumble up, take out my retainers, and go say hello. Mind you, we took tequila shots so I am a bit fuzzy at this point. The guy seems cute to drunk Elle and so we start kissing. Then we move into my room and before you know it, we are having GREAT sex. He is suave, he is talented, he is BIG.
FUCK YES. We proceed to do this randomly throughout the night into the morning and when it comes time for them to go - we kiss and say goodbye, no strings attached, no numbers exchanged, no names remembered.
This may sound slutty but honestly, it was PERFECT. No drama, great sex, no strings, no effort put forth, no fucks given.
So now my summer goal is to have sex once a week all summer and get back to living my confident, best sexual life.
I finally shed the stress weight I'd gained and I am back to my norm so now I am all about getting back to having fun like I used to in DC until someone legitimate comes along.
LETS FUCKING GO.
xo xo,
Elle
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