Texas is donezo. My mind is actually still blown by the entire thing so it'll be interesting as I try and get this story down...
Thursday. Great date - likely one of the best yet. He is so affectionate and we have an amazing night. Things are good. He doesn't sleep over and neither do I.
Friday. We were going to go out but I wasn't feeling great so I invited him and his dog over instead. It's low key, we watch tv, he doesn't sleep over. Weird? Your dog is here - why would you leave?
"Uhhh my coworker whose birthday I mentioned, she's having a birthday breakfast tomorrow morning."
"Oh, okay cool. Where?"
"Ummm the henry."
Red flags - he's lying. I know it instantly. (My lie radar is very on point)
"Well, thanks for hanging out. I'll see you tomorrow."
Saturday. He texts me midday saying hello and he's excited for tonight. (We are going to a gala)
I had a very busy Saturday so I shoot off a brief reply and tell him I'll be there around 5:15pm.
I get to his place, he's looking super hot in a suit and off we go.
The event - horrible. It is not a gala - it is just a fundraiser. A horribly executed one at that. It is SO boring.
I am feeling self conscious because this was supposed to be fun -- I needed to go to support work wise so it wasn't really optional for me but man, this is a bummer.
We then grab dinner after with two people and once again, more awkwardness.
We finally leave and head back to his place. We are sober and start watching a tv show...he's not being as cuddly and the vibe seems off but I'm trying to not overthink it.
We end up hooking up and after I check the clock, it's late, I need to get home. (He has the worlds tiniest bed so I'm really not trying to sleep there)
I grab an uber and head home. He asked me to text when I was back, I do, it's brief, and I pass out instantly.
We are supposed to go to my clients TopGolf event. It starts at 4pm and I'd had a busy Sunday with friends prior so I wasn't on top of the logistics. at 3:45pm I text him asking if he's meeting me there or coming to my house.
Long story short...
He bails. He says he was taking a nap and just woke up. I am now late so I reply with a K. and get my ass out the door. I hate being late, it's rude and not professional and just not my thing.
The entire event I am expecting to hear from him and I'm not getting anything.
Finally I get in my car to leave and I text him saying it was rude that he blew me off. He then tells that wasn't his intention but admittedly, he's having doubts about us.
When I ask what they are his first response is that he doesn't want to attend galas and events. There isn't anything wrong with them or doing so but he's not into it.
I say we need to cut the shit and do this on the phone. So he calls me and we spend 30 mins on the most lackluster break up call ever.
I tell him I am not on this call to try and talk him into wanting to be with me - I just want to understand what went wrong since I really do like him and things WERE going so well.
I mean you bought the flights to Texas -- that was YOUR idea and YOUR execution. Thursday when I mentioned how hot it was that he takes initiative he said, "I value your time and I don't want to waste it."
sooooo ummmm how did we get here?
He mentions a long list of insecurities -- basically all the typical cop outs.
"IDK how I feel about kids, marriage, and being a provider"
I tell him that he's worrying about things that we don't need to worry about right now and that we have two options.
We either slow down and keep seeing each other and see where it goes or we cut this here and now.
He says he has to go with his gut and that is to cut it now.
WTF did I do?!
So then he goes, "you know what this feels like? Like I am breaking the vase."
My vase analogy - look it up, theres a past post on it. The point is - a relationship is a vase with flowers. You break it once and the pieces are big enough you can still put it back together. You break it again and the pieces are smaller, it takes longer to get back together but it still holds water. You break it again and the pieces are now too small, the water is escaping and the flowers are dying.
So if you have something great, it's important to hold onto it and not break the vase.
Why would he mention that now? You aren't breaking the vase you've just destroyed it. I'm not the moron I once was where I let XF come back ten thousand times. Those days are long gone.
But it got me thinking...
The first month of dating XF was comparative to dating Texas. Fireworks, so much in common, so many fun activities, future plans made, etc. It was fucking bliss - much like this was. THEN he pulled back after his parents saw the photo on FB and freaked out that I wasn't Armenian.
Two days later - XF is regretting his decision and is begging me to take him back. (Spoiler alert - I do)
Then with another guy two years ago -- fireworks, amazingness, so compatible anddddd bam - he pulls back, breaks it off, and leaves me confused and stunned.
Two days later...is begging to see me and is regretting his decision. Spoiler alert - I take him back too.
So I think it's a common theme...guys move quickly, they freak themselves out, they step back for a second and realize holy shit and then they pull the rip cord and leave the girl (aka me) confused and heartbroken.
Then a few days pass and their phone is silent or they go on a date with someone new who is a total moron and they are right back at your door step.
So if history repeats, we can expect to hear from him in two days.
I won't lie. I am super bummed. I really liked him. We had a ton of stuff in common. I was happy when I was with him. It was nice to let my guard down and just enjoy being with someone who I really did trust.
BUT it did feel too good to be true. Which I hate to say because WHY can't it be true?
I think he's got some deeper issues that aren't being disclosed which is fine - I don't need to know it all.
He cancelled the flight to Austin. However, I am still going to Austin. We are gonna turn it in a girls weekend and I rebooked my flights today. I love Austin, I already cleared my calendar and some gf time sounds PERFECT. It's a big city, I won't see him.
I am going to dinner tonight with Audi. Really glad that my slow fizzle approach hadn't really set in yet because he's still very interested, he's still VERY attractive and he's one of the top kissers of my life so hey, cest la vie. I don't see him becoming anything serious - I mean obviously I met Texas and nearly forgot Audi existed because our connection was just so much better. But hey, I can't stop living just because I'm bummed.
Dating is a process of elimination, you only end up with one. This is all just part of the journey.
Lastly - I am super grateful this fizzled before I left for Italy. I'd be very upset if I was over there worried about Texas the entire time. Now I can go on my spiritual journey and enjoy every ounce of it without worrying about some guy who clearly has NO idea wtf he just lost.
More to come...