Sunday - Liams married/alllll the photos/reminds me of the life I would've had with him/nostalgia
Monday - Reunite with Joey (that part went well) but while doing so, XF finds the blog and flips out (expected reaction).
Tuesday - Dealing with XF drama all day. Late evening - confirmation Damian has died. Whole new level of emotions set in. So many reminders of my past life this week, what the fuck.
Wednesday - Sheer exhaustion. I'm not sleeping well. Things are just so overwhelming. I am totally overbooked for work which = some clients are gonna wind up pissed off. Feeling like I can't really win.
Thursday - I am forgetful. I mess up things for work, make a few costly errors, forget to sign in at the gym, forget my parking validation, THEN engage in massive argument via text with XF about his inability to plan things.
EVERY trip we have ever went on was planned by me. E V E R Y single one.So last night, I lost my shit. I survived three years of him, you'd think he would've been planning something for that major moment before now, right? Wrong. Nothing.
These things matter to me. They mattered growing up and every boyfriend I've ever had, cared about them too.
Bobby and I celebrated every month anniversary. When I mentioned how I was really grateful he was down to do that because it's now a very fond memory + he set the bar high (exactly as it should be) he replied with, "why wouldn't I? It brought you so much happiness and that's all I wanted." RIGHT ANSWER! Bonus points for you in my memory book.
Liam was always going the extra mile to be thoughtful. He flew my cousin and Bestie1 out for my 24th birthday. I got home from traffic court and bam, there they are sitting on my couch. I started crying instantly. That was one of the BEST birthdays I've ever had. He also knew I loved this cake from a specific bakery so he custom ordered it and drove a hours to go get it and bring it to the party that he singlehandedly planned with ALL of my friends in attendance.
Babak and Mia planned a pretty awesome 25th for me - Babak wasn't the best at anything but atleast he knew to ask the correct person to get shit done, he can have some credit for that - otherwise, it's all on Mia. (That cake was pretty bomb too)
When Babak and I decided to go Mexico - he planned the whole thing! It was insane. He was so on top of it and it was great to not have to be in charge for once. That is still one of the best vacations I've ever been on.
Back to Bobby, he loved planning as much as me. When it was time for me to go college hunting, he mapped the entire game plan, took a week off work, drove like six different states, booked all the hotels + all the excursions we could do along the way. We saw Jack's Mannequin & OAR on tour x3 in one month because he planned shit so well. We even stopped off in the town I went to Middle School to visit people I hadn't seen in four years because he wanted to meet them after hearing so many stories. I legit said, "these are the schools I wanna go to" and he did the rest. IT WAS AMAZING and so, so, so, much fun. Hands down my favorite road trip.
XF: I beg to go to Charleston with me for a long weekend - I plan the trip, book the hotel, he schedules the dinners.
NYC - He books his train ticket and doesn't think to book mine too. Ummm we are going at the same time, what the fuck!?
California - had to beg him to meet the family and if you recall that was the fantasy football disaster. The next time someone mentions fucking fantasy ANYTHING I am going off. Consider this a warning.
Mexico - I begged for us to go somewhereeeeeee then it rained the entire trip AND we missed Thanksgiving.
Chicago - It was my friends wedding, I'm glad he came/I expected to plan all of that one.
Dallas - We finally reunite in a different place and the entire trip (including meals) was planned by yours truly.
Miami - Ya'll know how that went down.
Now it's a THREE year anniversary and we've got nada? He's leaving for the Middle East on the actual day (June 1) so now he suggests we do Memorial Day weekend.
For starters, if we do NYC MDW - I am not driving/taking a bus. We have to take a train because theres ZERO chance I am gonna sit in hours of traffic. No fucking way.
Two, Zoe was supposed to fly up from Tampa for a fun weekend.
Three, Antonio is taking his boat all over and I was looking forward to that.
Four, I don't like traveling on holiday weekends because it's a shit show.
Five, shouldn't this shit be planned already!? YOU KNEW WHEN THIS ANNIVERSARY WAS?!
So we reallllly got into it. Then he said that he clearly doesn't live up to the standard my ex's have set.
This isn't a comparison game buttttt if we are comparing, nope, not even close in this arena. (He does beat them in most others, hence why he is still around)
He kept saying, "I'm sorry I'm such a let down" -- this isn't me asking for trips to the South of France. This isn't me begging for my Parisian proposal that I have always dreamed of.
I am asking for you to plan something ONCE in three years. You missed my last two birthdays. The one you did attend was planned + executed entirely by my guy friends. You have never had to coordinate my friends together for me, for anything. You haven't had to plan a damn thing the past two years for our anniversary because the first one, we weren't speaking, the second one, I was awaiting a proposal that never came and we did absolutely nothing besides make dinner at home which was delicious but not exactly how I'd want to celebrate (we eat dinner at home all the time).
So NOW is the chance to put in the effort and show me that you're really fucking glad I stuck around.
All my ex's wish I'd never walked away, don't take for granted all of the chances I've given you.
This week has just been a fucking buzzkill and I am exhausted and NOWHERE close to the weekend. Today's workday is going to be ferocious and I have zero time to hit the gym. I am actually losing my mind.
On the bright side, I've had an amazing 2017 besides this. I knew it couldn't stay perfect forever so here is karma catching up?
If he plans nothing, I can promise you I'm OUT. Initiative is my biggest turn on and after three years, BRUCE, YOU BETTER FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT.
PS XF is the ONLY guy I've fucked around with for three years. Out my ten dizillion boyfriends, THE ONLY ONE to last this long. So if you're reading, that is just a friendly lil reminder.
PPS How fucking weird is it that he can read this anytime he wants now?