Ladies and Gents,
I know dating can be tough.
So many toads in the tinder sea.
So many bad fucking dates.
So much "wasted" time/effort/money/makeup.
I KNOW.
But this is reality.
You can bitch and moan allllll you want but THIS is the way our world dates now.
You want the fairytale love story where you locked eyes at the grocery store?
I'm sorry, it's not gonna fucking happen.
The sooner you get that crap out of your mind, the easier it will be for you to navigate this digital dating world.
"But Elle, so and so was set up by their mom's co-workers cousin and they fell madly in love in the middle of Central Park!"
I'm sure that .00001% exists/you've probably seen it on instagrams "how we met" page BUT just like the book, "He's just not that into you" states -- those stories are the exception, not the rule.
If you keep holding out, hoping to be the exception - I can't stop you. But realize that you aren't getting any younger and you very well may end up alone.
So folks, swipe strategically. Follow my tinder rules for success. (I will find them and re-post them), and don't fucking give up!
Online dating wasn't designed to reward quitters.
Just think...
One day a toad could turn into a Bruce.
One day Bruce could become your manpanion.
One day manpanion, could actually have a REAL name.
After having a real name, perhaps he could become a BOYFRIEND.
Maybe that boyfriend will become a fiancee.
and maybe just maybe, that fiancee will become your husband.
As you can see, there are MANY steps before getting to the final one.
So stop fucking quitting on yourselves. I'm sick of your boring stories of throwing in towels. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU BEING BORING/QUITTING, THE WORLD NEEEEEEDS YOUR STORIES AND I NEED TO TELL THEM. So stop being so damn selfish.
GET OUT THERE AND FUCKING SLAY. THE WORLD NEEDS MORE WOMEN AND MEN JUST LIKE YOU.
Rant over.
xo xo,
Elle
I know dating can be tough.
So many toads in the tinder sea.
So many bad fucking dates.
So much "wasted" time/effort/money/makeup.
I KNOW.
But this is reality.
You can bitch and moan allllll you want but THIS is the way our world dates now.
You want the fairytale love story where you locked eyes at the grocery store?
I'm sorry, it's not gonna fucking happen.
The sooner you get that crap out of your mind, the easier it will be for you to navigate this digital dating world.
"But Elle, so and so was set up by their mom's co-workers cousin and they fell madly in love in the middle of Central Park!"
I'm sure that .00001% exists/you've probably seen it on instagrams "how we met" page BUT just like the book, "He's just not that into you" states -- those stories are the exception, not the rule.
If you keep holding out, hoping to be the exception - I can't stop you. But realize that you aren't getting any younger and you very well may end up alone.
So folks, swipe strategically. Follow my tinder rules for success. (I will find them and re-post them), and don't fucking give up!
Online dating wasn't designed to reward quitters.
Just think...
One day a toad could turn into a Bruce.
One day Bruce could become your manpanion.
One day manpanion, could actually have a REAL name.
After having a real name, perhaps he could become a BOYFRIEND.
Maybe that boyfriend will become a fiancee.
and maybe just maybe, that fiancee will become your husband.
As you can see, there are MANY steps before getting to the final one.
So stop fucking quitting on yourselves. I'm sick of your boring stories of throwing in towels. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU BEING BORING/QUITTING, THE WORLD NEEEEEEDS YOUR STORIES AND I NEED TO TELL THEM. So stop being so damn selfish.
GET OUT THERE AND FUCKING SLAY. THE WORLD NEEDS MORE WOMEN AND MEN JUST LIKE YOU.
Rant over.
xo xo,
Elle
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