First off, I know I should probably wait on the dating and keep focusing on myself. I have been doing a lot of that lately. I got bored. Talking about the X factor with friends got old - they all say, “you can do/deserve so much better” -- yes, yes I know. I kind of just wanted to go on a few dates with guys who found me baggage free and exciting. People who had no idea about the guy I thought I was going to marry and didn’t because of his racist parents.
So the swiping has begun… two dates on the books.
What a disaster.
Date 1: Name: Overly Eager, Age: 33
Happens to live across the street from me, tinder chatted for about 3 minutes before asking for drinks (I like the quick execution, if you read the tinder rules - there is a strict timeline for asking for date 1) So last Friday we went for drinks. Then more drinks. and more drinks. It was a pretty decent date. He was entertaining, smart, nice, has a job, etc. There wasn’t any insane chemistry but he wasn’t a weirdo.
Or so I thought...
Everyday since Friday he has sent me about 10 texts. 10 texts to my 1 one text. HE IS SO DAMN EAGER. Guys, don’t be annoying. Don’t be eager. Be interested but do not blow up someones phone! ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM NOT RESPONDING.
So we were going to watch the NBA game last night and I just couldn’t fathom it. First off - he wanted to come over to my place to watch...ummm sorry I am not sorry but we just met and NO you’re not coming into my house. Try again. He offers his house. WTF, how dense are you? Clearly this guy is an idiot and I can never see him again. So I cancel. Go to the gym instead and proceed to ignore the 10 more texts I receive throughout the evening. Best part: I wake up today… 3 more texts. FML. Blocked.
Date 2: Name: Ego Maniac, Age: 30
4 inches shorter than me without heels (I’m not that tall), proudly admits he has slept with two married women and that was on his bucket list he made at age 19. Then he proceeds to read the bucket list… everysinglething. THEN he says, let’s make this a game -you get to guess what I have already accomplished on the list! Hold on, you actually think I care? President of his own fan club clearly, what a toad! Who says shit like that?
We have two drinks, he asks to see me again, I say, “I’ll think about it.” I felt bad being mean but there’s honestly no way in HELL that’s gonna happen. He says that he expects a “thank you for a nice evening text” -- I said well, I can say thank you now and avoid that text so don’t expect it and thanks for the two glasses of wine (should’ve been a bottle for all the shit I just listened to).
Now both of those toads are blocked and back to the prowl. I am so unmotivated by it all. I tried match once...it was all the same toads as tinder & the messages were far creepier than the tinder messages so never again will I do that. The problem with the cosmpolitan bubble I live in is that it is quite small and overly nerdy. If they aren’t nerds, they’re egomaniacs. It is such a losing battle at times.
How did I ever find the X factor on tinder? A part of me is like, whoa that was great luck -- the other part of me says, I would've been better off without you + the racist parents.
Anyways, time to get back to swiping so I can keep you all entertained.
Ta Ta for now,