Friday was a much needed girls night that involved way too much rose & pizza (not diet goals) and Saturday was an evening of debauchery.
Friday night: let me start by explaining the back story - I texted Rami earlier Friday, I miss you. He replies, I miss you too, I haven't had sex since you left. Ummmm I left Sunday...that's not exactly a feat? Granted, I have had sex since then but thats not important. So I ask, well what are you going to do about that? He replies, "IDK I've been thinking about that lately...."
THEN I get a call from him.
"HEY babe!!! I just had a coffee date and a lunch date but I don't think I will see either girl again. They both talked too much, not my type."
Uhhhhh why are you calling to tell me about your dates? Clearly I like you enough to fly across the country to hang out with you, sure I don't think we are gonna date exclusively but cmon, a little common sense here bud... He then tells me he plans to come visit me in April in DC, he wishes I was there, misses all the sex we had, wants to see my lingerie collection, etc. I'm in the midst of girls night, this kids gottta gooooo.
Once the girls leave, his best friend facetimes me. I'm kinda buzzy from all the champagne so I answer. I explain what Rami said and how stupid it all is. He tells me Rami likes me the most and talks about me all the time and was so happy to show me off at his birthday. YAWN. This is stupid. So we hang up and I text Rami, "just facetimed with M." He texts that he isn't going out with them.
"With so many girls, you don't need to go out."
"Cmon I don't! I don't stay in touch with them."
"Coffee and lunch."
"But nothing happened. I would rather be with you than out."
I fall asleep.
I awake to, "helllloooooo"
"someone is upset...."
"no no, all is good. fell asleep last night texting you"
"I know you did, it was late for you. Don't be upset please. I don't like to see you sad because of me. Breaking someones heart is easy."
"You won't break mine."
"I don't want to do that to you"
"You can't, don't worry."
UMMMM what kind of fucking moron are you?! Break my heart? Really?! EW that would imply I love you which I 10000% do not. Fell into a lapse of judgment lust but beyond that, I give zero fucks about you Bruce. GTFO of here with this breaking heart b/s.
If anyone is getting hurt in this, promise it won't be me.
Don't you love when guys underestimate me?
I sure as hell do.
SO now it's Saturday night. I scoop up Mia from her house and we head into the city.
I tell 7 friends who pretty much only know me to show up at a bar. Somehow, everyone shows up, gets along, and it's a fantastic time.
I also successfully set Mia up with my college bff Tim. Setting Mia up is next to impossible because she is quite picky (sorry love you boo) and we know all the same people (OG best bitch since HS). They clicked and made out (such a win, I am so fucking happy) sooooo stay tuned for how that one pans out...my fingers are crossed as tight as humanly possible. Besties dating each other would be $$$$$.
onto the real story....
Shows up after many rounds of drinks and I am annoyingly excited to see him. We had planned 100% for Sunday spin but Saturday I wasn't too sure about it.
Ew Elle, get a damn grip. You were his back up option, you cut him off from the physical fun, YOU are now his FRIEND with no benefits.
That stupid giddy feeling in my stomach is undeniable though.
Everytime I see him I get that feeling. Maybe it's because I can't have him completely? Perhaps I like the thrill of the chase with him too. Whatever it is, I really want to feel it with someone who I can actually date and fall in love with.
So far so good, we are doing well in the friend zone.... until I ask about the ex progress and he sighs. "I don't want to talk about it...it's been a bad with together."
"Are you back on, 100% now?"
"No. Not yet."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Honestly Antonio, this girl is the reason I can't have you and as your back up option since November, you're gonna fucking talk and explain wtf is going on. Spill."
"Elle, you're stuck in my head. I don't want to have sex with her, the attraction went away or something, IDK how to fix it. I don't want to lose her, she's a great person and I love her friends." (I am shortening a very long convo, FYI)
"Well...I am a pretty decent human being and clearly, my friends are legit as well...we could be happy Antonio...I really like you, I wanted to date you. I haven't dated really since I met you, you were enough...but don't compare me to her. She is beautiful in a different way than me, she has to be for you to date her and who knows if we dated, we could wind up hating each other...two years in vs four months is very different."
Jesus drunk Elle, SHUT UP. Cringing at myself as I type this.
"You are amazing and I didn't know really where I stood with you...You are so beautiful and you challenge me...I love talking to you. IDK what I am doing."
"Don't go backwards then...."
Stop begging him like some pathetic loser. JFC - someone slap me.
And then I think I kissed him. I don't remember the moment/how it all began but I do remember sitting in a corner, on his lap, kissing fiercely. Damn, this chemistry can't be made up...I can't stop myself.
We decide it's a good idea to get condoms. We leave the bar to go to 711, buy some, walk back into the bar, go to the bathroom and have some hot, crazy, quick sex.
I liveeeee for sex in crazy places (this bathroom was insanely clean) and oh man, Antonio is so aggressive and MMMMM I could get used to this. It's a magnetic attraction.
We leave the bathroom, go back to the corner, get back to kissing and before we know it the lights are coming on in the bar. We look at the time and it's 3am...Jesus, how did it get so late?
We grab an uber, he hops out at his spot, and I go home solo.
Then before you know it, it's 9:30am Sunday and we reunite for that spin class. Note to self, stop fucking scheduling weekend AM workouts, unnecessary torture, being fat and well rested is better than thin and feeling like death.
We kept discussing how we really thought we'd be able to do the friend thing...he also admitted he was a bit too excited to see me but really felt he'd be able to resist.
Once I saw him and we started talking I knew there was a 0% chance I could sit there and not kiss him. I'm usually pretty good at keeping my shit together. I even had the persian tinder toad show up so I'd be more inclined to avoid Antonio. I told my friends, keep me away from him, I can't get attached again.
So much for that plan.
In the midst of the Antonio rendezvous I made sure to snap chat a few key photos with hot persian toad. Rami and his friends were watching my every move and he had texted me a few times to which I didn't respond. Sure enough, the second I'd post something - he was one of the first to watch it. Proof I am absolutely not falling in love with you. Don't fuck with me kid.
So now we've covered the old...Let's dig into the new... my date tonight!
Besides being short (same height as Antonio), he is gorgeous. Tan skin and green eyes. Also very well dressed.
We had a bit of a risque tinder conversation that quickly escalated into sexual preferences. So I kinda figured he'd be a hookup and not much else but we didn't even kiss tonight. (highly unusual)
We talked for 2.5 hours and at the end he asked me for a second date on Wednesday. I loveeeee a guy who can execute/isn't playing games/isn't saying, "we will figure it out, I'll text you."
We are doing dinner Wednesday then going to one of our houses and listening to music and having a jam session.
That'll probably lead to a lack of clothes (gotta keep my diet 100% this week) and based on our chat about sexual preferences, we are into all the same things.
I didn't really know what to think of him before we met, I've felt like death all day so I was really tempted to cancel (very glad I didn't), and throughout the date I couldn't really tell if he was into me...very hard to read. He did say on our tinder chat that it takes him awhile to warm up.
Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised when he asked me on date 2.
He texted me after, "I really enjoy your company, thanks for a great date." I replied with, "I am looking forward to Wednesday." Then we spent two hours sending songs to each other and discussing music via text. Big fan of him so far.
Tomorrow I also have a date with another white bruce who studied with Arash. We already planned to have him come back to my place and surprise Arash (I haven't told him that I'm going out with someone he knows well) so it'll be fun to see the reaction. ;)
So a Sunday date, a Monday date, a Wednesday date. (both fellas were superlikes too, funny how my first date back on Tinder is always my best date...Cyrus, Antonio, and now Chase)
Antonio who? Rami who? XF who?
Clearing the roster was an A+ decision. Dating new guys is so refreshing and I am actually excited about all of it. I think I told Antonio I was going on dates...I think he asked if they were superlikes and hilariously enough, they were too. I wonder if he realizes that the longer his indecision towards me lasts, the smaller his chances become of ever being able to get me back...he's torturing himself trying to make the past work for him now, how long will it take for him to actually reconcile that? If he doesn't figure his shit out fast, someone else will have replaced the spot in my life for him & it'll be too late. Maybe that's what needs to happen. Who knows...
The longer I am without XF, the less I want him back. I think that door is actually closing in its own, slow way.
Right now, I am trusting the universe that this journey I am on is going to lead me to a very clear conclusion. So I just need to focus on enjoying it and living in the moment.
Gimme alllll the good sex.
2017 has been incredible so far, let's keep this up.
PS If Rami actually does want to visit, I'll let him. He's hot, he's fun, he's kinda dumb but his looks can smooth that over for a long weekend.
Time to go get that much needed beauty rest.
Night lovers, stay tuned for a fun date recap tomorrow night with Bruce #2 who is also 5'9, ugh.