Isn't that where toads live? Lily ponds? Forgive me if I'm wrong, I'm not outdoorsy.
(screenshots below are in order of toads)
Toad 1 - Rams still is texting. I finally replied last night that I don't feel like talking. Being the nice human he is, "I am a great listener if you want to talk." I just said I didn't, you aren't very good at reading.
Sigh, take the hint and go find a nice girl who appreciates a nice guy.
Toad 2 - Si. Persian toad I went on one snoozeworthy date with is also still texting. Fun facts: he follows me on instagram and snapchat so he's aware I am on my phone and just not replying to him. GIVE UP BRUCE. But he won't because he loves the chase. I think I need a separate phone for persistent toads.
Toad 3 - Jake. He let it slip when he came over to do Xmas gifts the other night that I am the only girl he's slept with this calendar year and "dated". Aw. Jake. That's adorable...
Oh and the Xmas gifts, no I didn't buy him anything (he's not my boyfriend, why would I?) when he mentioned he got me gifts I was like oh shit, do I have any cookies I can give him? Luckily, my client bought these 34 slim cut designer jeans for her son and they didn't fit so she gave them to me to gift to someone, $300 worth of jeans. So because mercury in retrograde wasn't fucking me that day, I wrapped them up, put a bow on it and gifted them to skinny/tall ass Jake. Guess what? They fit and he was SO EXCITED. Not only did it cost me $0 but I looked like hook-up of the year for such a great fitting, expensive xmas gift. MIR must've been sleeping to let me get away with SOMETHING this month.
Toad 4 - XF. Wouldn't speak to me all day yesterday. Finally I sent a text, "Got the hint, you don't wanna talk to me. I'll stop trying, have a good night." He calls. We get into yet another screaming match about Jake, my morals/lack thereof and alllll sorts of past shit. I kindly remind him that this is the grave he dug himself and WE COULD'VE BEEN ENGAGED HAD HE APPRECIATED WHAT HE HAD WHEN HE HAD IT. But he didn't and thus here we are. He told me to delete tinder and stop dating. Ummmm....not gonna happen because.... we aren't together!
Guys can be so dense. I told him awhile back that maybe he should go sleep with new people to try and work on his sex game...he didn't appreciate that and thought I was a fool for suggesting it. But really, the sex is what is holding me back the most with him (now that the racist parents have been told to fuck off) ...why, why, why can't this be easier? But easy things aren't worth having....right? :-/
Toad 5 - Remember that Afghan loser from last Friday? Below is a screenshot that did actually make me laugh out loud/got distributed to the girls text.
New toads: Remember that "Elite dating app", The League? Well, I've got two potential toads who have asked me out on there. Both look like your typical, geeky DC dud but I'll give it a chance. Worst case scenario I'm bored to death, drinking champagne.
I'm not going on anymore dates until 2017. And 2017's dating attitude is cutthroat. I'm not trying to say I am the nicest girl on the block but I do get sucked into dates that I don't want to be on and sometimes (Rams) multiple dates with guys I know I'd never actually date or sleep with.
NO MORE.
I am gonna ghost harder than Casper in 2017. I just can't keep up with all these texts from guys I never want to see again. The Afghan toad is my first trial run on my casper game plan, enjoy!
LASTLY - this is the final post of 2016. I'm closing the macbook and will see you with lots of fun stories in 2017. Thanks for reading & riding the trainwreck that my dating life is.
xo xo,
Elle
(screenshots below are in order of toads)
Toad 1 - Rams still is texting. I finally replied last night that I don't feel like talking. Being the nice human he is, "I am a great listener if you want to talk." I just said I didn't, you aren't very good at reading.
Sigh, take the hint and go find a nice girl who appreciates a nice guy.
Toad 2 - Si. Persian toad I went on one snoozeworthy date with is also still texting. Fun facts: he follows me on instagram and snapchat so he's aware I am on my phone and just not replying to him. GIVE UP BRUCE. But he won't because he loves the chase. I think I need a separate phone for persistent toads.
Toad 3 - Jake. He let it slip when he came over to do Xmas gifts the other night that I am the only girl he's slept with this calendar year and "dated". Aw. Jake. That's adorable...
Oh and the Xmas gifts, no I didn't buy him anything (he's not my boyfriend, why would I?) when he mentioned he got me gifts I was like oh shit, do I have any cookies I can give him? Luckily, my client bought these 34 slim cut designer jeans for her son and they didn't fit so she gave them to me to gift to someone, $300 worth of jeans. So because mercury in retrograde wasn't fucking me that day, I wrapped them up, put a bow on it and gifted them to skinny/tall ass Jake. Guess what? They fit and he was SO EXCITED. Not only did it cost me $0 but I looked like hook-up of the year for such a great fitting, expensive xmas gift. MIR must've been sleeping to let me get away with SOMETHING this month.
Toad 4 - XF. Wouldn't speak to me all day yesterday. Finally I sent a text, "Got the hint, you don't wanna talk to me. I'll stop trying, have a good night." He calls. We get into yet another screaming match about Jake, my morals/lack thereof and alllll sorts of past shit. I kindly remind him that this is the grave he dug himself and WE COULD'VE BEEN ENGAGED HAD HE APPRECIATED WHAT HE HAD WHEN HE HAD IT. But he didn't and thus here we are. He told me to delete tinder and stop dating. Ummmm....not gonna happen because.... we aren't together!
Guys can be so dense. I told him awhile back that maybe he should go sleep with new people to try and work on his sex game...he didn't appreciate that and thought I was a fool for suggesting it. But really, the sex is what is holding me back the most with him (now that the racist parents have been told to fuck off) ...why, why, why can't this be easier? But easy things aren't worth having....right? :-/
Toad 5 - Remember that Afghan loser from last Friday? Below is a screenshot that did actually make me laugh out loud/got distributed to the girls text.
New toads: Remember that "Elite dating app", The League? Well, I've got two potential toads who have asked me out on there. Both look like your typical, geeky DC dud but I'll give it a chance. Worst case scenario I'm bored to death, drinking champagne.
I'm not going on anymore dates until 2017. And 2017's dating attitude is cutthroat. I'm not trying to say I am the nicest girl on the block but I do get sucked into dates that I don't want to be on and sometimes (Rams) multiple dates with guys I know I'd never actually date or sleep with.
NO MORE.
I am gonna ghost harder than Casper in 2017. I just can't keep up with all these texts from guys I never want to see again. The Afghan toad is my first trial run on my casper game plan, enjoy!
LASTLY - this is the final post of 2016. I'm closing the macbook and will see you with lots of fun stories in 2017. Thanks for reading & riding the trainwreck that my dating life is.
xo xo,
Elle
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