If you're not married, you need back-up options... My entire life of serial dating, I've always, always, always kept guys on the backburner... That meaning - when one thing ends, there's a distraction waiting close by.
No, this doesn't mean I cheat or lie or something crazy.
You maintain connections with guys who you've either dated at one point or whom you know would like to date you while in your current relationship. You are honest, you don't hide that you've got a significant other. You simply maintain contact here and there...
Until there's a ring on my finger, I will never leave these methods behind me.
The back-up plan allows you to bounce back faster, be distracted by someone you already know you like and avoids the tinder downfall.
What is the tinder downfall?
You are suddenly single...naturally, you get on tinder. You find a toad, you go on a date, the date BLOWS and you run back to you ex so fucking fast it's as if you never broke up.
A new person is a liability.
They can remind you exactly what you just walked away from and how great your ex was...
Last summer in my half assed attempts to move on I went on many, many dates. I'd come home, facetime XFactor and be like, "well, atleast I tried."
Ummmm....No. That is NOT how you get on with your life. Not even close, nice try Elle but BIG fail on that one.
So this time around, my back up option was Jake. He was fully aware I ditched him to get back with my ex, he watched the relationship via social media and then as soon as I showed signs of things wearing thin, he was ready to pounce.
Now that I have cut the cord, he's obviously in the game.
Point is - you can't put all your eggs in the basket until the ring is there. You really can't. I've seen so many friends sit around heartbroken for months over an ex, unable to move on, unable to let a new guy in and that just sucks and it wastes your precious youth in the meantime.
So, cheers to back up options. No shame in my fucking game.
PS up next...Jake's birthday party, the night of drunken "mistakes"...