Considering I refused to help plan her bachelorette party (which is this weekend), I most definitely didn't get that invitation.
Not that I care, I wasn't planning to attend either way and we aren't close. At all.
I'm no longer going to weddings unless I am actually very close with the person at this point in my life.
No more of this, I haven't seen you in ten years but hey fly to North Dakota for my wedding! (Exaggeration but you get the picture)
When I get married, I am going to do it all very, very differently.
I'm kind of excited because so many people are going to have such an opinion on it. "OMG can you believe she didn't invite xyz? OMG an email invitation?! OMG, OMG, OMG."
Weddings these days have become a fucking circus. People expect you to attend an engagement party, bridal shower, bach party, rehearsal dinner, fly to their wedding AND give a gift over $100. Since when is getting married supposed to be about financially burdening EVERYONE who cares about you? I'm not down with it, not at all.
I'd rather take the money I'd spend on the "wedding of the year" and put it towards my sick oceanfront home in Newport Beach. While you're busying paying off your insane wedding, I'll be tanning and drinking champagne on my deck.
So your friends have to pay thousands of dollars because you decided to get married?
Seems a bit insane to me...
I'm cutting the fluff.
I don't need an engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, or paper invitation.
1. Engagement party AND bridal shower? By time I actually say I do, I am going to be exhausted from all these damn parties centered around me FINALLY picking a groom. Pass.
2. Rehearsal dinner? Meh. Let's just have a cocktail hour the night before and throw an even better wedding reception.
3. Paper invitations. These piss me off to NO END. I'm sorry you spent HOW much on fucking paper? Paper that everyone except you will throw away after attending your event? The world revolves around email and guess what? Email is free. I'd much rather be a tacky bitch and send a paperless post invite, track who is coming in real time, save a few trees, few dollars, and whole lot of time. Sorry not sorry.
4. Bachelorette party. I am ONLY doing one of these if I can make sure it won't cost my friends a fortune to attend. No way am I letting friends pay for me for an entire weekend just because I am going to get married in a few months. Wherever this logic came from is mind boggling to me.
5. Bridesmaid dresses. Oh me, oh my. This is a source of contention for EVERYONE. Your friends come in different shapes and sizes -- let them pick their own goddamn dress you asshole. If you must match, pick a color and tell people to run with it. I plan to have my friends wear either a specific color or a selection of colors and say I'd prefer it be satin, etc. No you don't need matching shoes. I love my friends for their individuality, no need to mask that on my special day.
6. I love a good party so I've decided I want to tie the knot on New Year's Eve. Everyone always wants a fun NYE plan so why not combine it all? Plus photos with fireworks sound pretty awesome to me! (Also a big fan of things that glow/glitter)
7. A plated meal. Ugh, wedding food is the worsttttttt. I'm either doing Mediterranean buffet or a ton of fun appetizers/a sushi bar. Let's be real, you're in it for the open bar anyways.
8. Photos. I do want a cool set of engagement photos + wedding photos but that's because its a memory you have forever/you probably won't be prettier than you are in those pics. (Vain, I know) Don't really think I need a wedding video. I can always hire Arash and his goPro to run around and DIY it for me ;)
9. Invitees. Oh so we haven't spoke in years and you're salty I didn't invite you? GTF over it. Oh we are related and you're an asshole? Also, not my problem. Oh you invited me to your wedding and now expect me to do the same? Also not a guarantee for my guestlist. I know I will piss a lot of people off but I have a gigantic family and I'm not in the business of people pleasing. It's MY wedding, be happy you don't have to buy a plane ticket to California? I'm actually doing you a favor ;)
10. I am pretty solid on my bridesmaid list and I can't really see that changing. Since they all read the blog, here it is.
MOH - Bestie 1
Bridesmaids: Bestie2, Mia, Tash, Zoe, DT, B
There you have it.
The framework of my fictional non-wedding "wedding".
Let's be honest, I'm gonna cave and marry XF, it's just a matter of time/a matter of therapy. Who the hell else is going to put up with me for a lifetime?