I've got a weird thing...When I can't sleep (my mind is always racing, it's very hard for me to fall asleep) I organize photos from the past in iphoto. Seems uselessly tedious, but it's become a habit. All of my friends from high school know when I haven't slept because they awake to snapchats of hilarious moments from the younger years. (Mia & Zoe you can thank me later) ;)
So last night I got started on this pink harddrive and came across one of the first photos I took with my first serious boyfriend/first love, dickhead #1. Because this is a very LONG story, he is going to be given a name so I don't have to keep typing dickhead over and over and over again.
Meet Bobby. (again)
He is half Irish, half Italian, 6ft1, reddish-brown hair, had the worst acne in the world back in the day, was very outdoorsy (eagle scout shit), avid skiier like myself, life of the party and probably the best overrall boyfriend I have ever had. (That's a bold statement considering he cheated on me my freshman year of college.)
I met Bobby my Sophomore year of high school, his junior year. I'd move to the East Coast the year prior for prep school and I hadn't made many friends. Thennnnn, my parents decided it'd be fun to buy a giant house in the burbs where I knew zero people. Thennn we lose one of our cats in the burbs where we know zero people. So I tell my bestfriend Zoe about the cat thing. She introduces me to Bobby whom she knew through friends and he happens to live down the street from me. I think we wound up meeting at the State Fair for the first time. (Zoe, fact check me)
So as any true friendship begins in 2004, we added each other on AIM. He'd come to my neighborhood to help me look for the cat and we just kinda hit it off. He was my only friend in my new area and I really liked him from the second I met him (acne and all). In a ploy to spend more time with him, I asked him to help with science, told my dad Bobby was going to tutor me and then we'd just make out on my couch in the basement for hours. (No, I didn't actually need any tutoring)
On nights when my dad wouldn't let Bobby come over, he'd sneak in through the basement window or the back porch door. We always found a way to hangout (4-5x a week). Finally, Bobby asked me to his ring dance. I was so excited that we were taking the first steps towards actually dating. It was weird, this was our first time in a social setting together. Our whole friendship revolved in my basement. I'd never stepped foot in his house, met his family, or any of his friends. Ring dance was a big deal.
So we do the dance and a few days later, (in my basement of course) I ask him why we aren't dating. I probably wasn't that forward, (Zoe can tell the story better than me because I know I was petrified to bring it up and she constantly pushed me to do so.) He gave me some b/s reasoning as to why we should just stay friends (I later found out in an emotional admission, he was scared what his parents would think of him dating a Persian girl). Fitting, considering once we finally did end up dating - his mother was the absolute worst to me and I did EVERYTHING I could to appease her. He was correct to worry, she made my life hell as often as possible. But really? Is being Persian that big of a deal to Irish/Italian Catholic people? We live in the same neighborhood, I attend the best prep school in the city, my house is enorme, my dad has a great job, what is the issue? Well, this has been the theme of my entire adult dating life and is why I am petrified of parents at the age of 28. It never seems to endddddd. More on that later though.
So we stay friends. Eventually becoming best friends. I start to meet new people, he starts to get closer with the Lacrosse team, and one night he suggests I throw a party. My dad is out of town for the weekend so I do it. He invites his friends, I invite mine and before you know it, we are the party throwing duo of the city. Except he meets one of my frenemies who attends my high school (we both went to same-sex high schools) anddddd they wind up dating.
Wha? You're not supposed to date the 6ft blonde girl who looks like a quarterback! You are supposed to date the cute, 5'5, persian girl who has been in love with you all along. WHAAAA? Jealousy ensues.
Before I know it, he is spending all of his time sneaking into Cat's house and rarely has time for me. I end up dating someone else and once a week or so I'd see Bobby. I remember sitting in the trunk of my Ford Explorer having ice cream with him talking about my new boyfriend. He wasn't sold on my beau and kept interrogating me about it. What did it matter, he was dating Cat and no longer had much time for me.
Then Cat dumped him. He was pretty upset about it because what guy enjoys being dumped (egomaniacs) and I was there to console him. I think that was when the tides started to turn. He once again had time for me and finally started to notice I was much prettier than Cat. I broke up with the guy I was seeing right before a party at Bobby's bestfriends house. My fella lived far away and it just wasn't worth it anymore (I probably only dated him to make Bobby jealous, but I can't remember the details because he was so unimportant)
SO that night at Bobby's friends, everything changed. Alcohol had been involved but FINALLY Bobby fessed up and said he wanted to date me. I could not have been more excited. We'd both already lost our V cards to other people but that same night we decided to be official, we also had sex and it was insane.
It was crazy how everything just felt so, so, so, right. I guess being best friends really helped push it along. I was already in love with him by the time we made it official and things just went full speed ahead. He was the best. We celebrated every months anniversary, he'd leave love notes on my car during his lunch break or after lax practice, we'd sneak out every night to see each other, he always bought me flowers, and I was his #1 priority. We did EVERYTHING together. Our friend groups meshed into one and that led to me being known as the party girl of the city because my dad traveled often and I had a giant house. I missed Bobby when he wasn't around, and when we fought, I could never stay mad, he was EVERYTHING. I felt like I'd die if I didn't have him.
We were different than most high school couples. We made our decisions together, we took trips together, we broke every rule we could together, and we always stuck together. We never did the whole break up and get back thing. It was always 10000 percent on. He was extremely territorial, any guy who came near me knew to stay 100 feet away or Bobby would kill them. It was intense and I loved every second of it.
When it came time for him to go to college, I was devastated and had 1 year left of highschool. Thankfully, he chose a school 2 hours away from home so every single weekend, I'd drive to visit him. For my 18th birthday he showed up at my door, unnannounced with a box. Inside the box is my amazing tuxedo cat that I can't live without now. The best gift I've ever received, still to this day. (My cat is also my last remnant of the Bobby era.)
Looking back, who in the world wants their girlfriend on campus every weekend? He was a saint. I was terrible at drinking, even back then and when we'd go out, I'd inevitably be way too drunk and he'd carry me home over his shoulders, my heels in his hand, put me in bed and feed me easy mac and gatorade before I fell asleep. This happened every single weekend. Mind you, I've never been skinnier than I was back then...someone explain that bullshit. (easy mac, gatorade, smirnoff ice diet?)
His racist mom situation, let's discuss that for a second. He NEVER let her get away with it. If she didn't invite me to dinner, he wouldn't eat with them. If she was being a bitch about something, he'd call her out on it, he always stood up for me with her. Makes me wonder why it was so hard for XF to do the same when it was so easy back then for a 16 year old....
So now it's time for me to go to college...He went college touring with me to every single place I wanted to look. I applied to 40 schools across the USA and while it broke his heart to imagine me in San Francisco, he never held me back (even though I really couldn't fathom going THAT far away). I applied early decision to his college and didn't get in so we knew early on that we wouldn't get to do college together. Finally, I chose a school (10 hours from his) and he drove with my parents 8 hours each way to move me into my dorm. I'll never forget that day...it's a pretty good one, so I'm going to explain it.
He packed my entire car, packed my moms car, drove mine 8 hours, unpacked both cars, set my room up for me and then drove my parents back to DC 8 hours. There was NOTHING Bobby wouldn't do for me. After saying bye to my parents that day I was left with my goodbye to him. We vowed to stay together, no matter what because we were going to get married at the end of this journey but regardless, this day would change everything and we both knew it.
For move-in day I wore a bright yellow dress. After Bobby and my parents had departed, I'd went to our dorm meeting in the quad. Afterwards, my roommate and I decided we wanted to unbunk our beds and needed some fellas to come help us out. I had spotted a guy I'd attended orientation with and suggested we go find him. Five minutes later the cutest guys in our dorm, Dan and Nate stood before us. We asked them to come switch our beds and afterwards exchanged numbers. Our first friends, we were pretty excited. That interaction doesn't seem crucial to the story of Bobby and Elle but Nate would later become my college boyfriend for all four years. Yep, spolier alert - Bobby and I didn't survive my first year of college.
I later found out that while sitting in the quad, Nate had seen me. He told his roommate, Dan that he had to meet the girl in the yellow dress. Five minutes later, I'm standing in his doorway asking for help. So the same day my life changed with Bobby, my story began with Nate.
To this day, Nate says that first day when I showed up in his door was when his dream girl walked right into his life. (Yeah, I was his first girlfriend, can you tell?)
Bobby and had made all of these insane rules to follow which of course was an epic disaster. He joined a fraternity at his uni, I started going out, Nate started chasing me, I was drinking without Bobby for the first time in my life (aka no one to feed me and ensure my safety at the end of every party which was Bobby's biggest fear and why the I'm not allowed to drink rule existed), and we just started fighting constantly.
October 2007 -
My birthday hasn't always been a bigger deal than it should be. Truth be told, my grandmother died on my 15th birthday, which was the first year I'd moved to the East Coast and I had zero friends. I spent that birthday devastated. I spent my 16th devastated because it was the 1 year anniversary of her death. The being a birthday diva didn't really start until my 18th when Bobby came home from college to throw me a birthday party and bought me a kitten. He finally gave me a reason to not be sad. So now it's my 19th and he bought a ticket to fly out and see me because he knew he was my birthday savior. As he's leaving campus to drive 2 hours to the airport, his car breaks down. He misses his flight and my mom offers to drive to get him the next morning so he won't miss my birthday altogether.
That night is his first frat formal...He would've missed it and been with me had his car not broke down but as fate would have it, he was able to attend. I'd seen a girl on facebook commenting and liking things, she was ugly but I felt threatened so when he told me he was going to go to the party, I said "go with anyone except her."
My birthday festivities were beginning with my friends (they planned an amazing weekend for me) and I missed a call from Bobby. I later listen to the voicemail..."Elle, no one else was free, I have to take (girl you asked me not to) I swear we are just friends, I love you and I'll see you tomorrow!"
I call him back and I am LIVID. "Don't bother showing up tomorrow, I can't believe you'd take the ONLY girl I asked you not to, I hate you!!!"
I proceed to ignore his calls for the duration of the night and shut off my phone.
Well, that night Nate made his moves. He was by my side for the entire night of birthday fun and we had a great time. We didn't kiss but the sexual tension was there.
I got back to my dorm at 2am and turned my phone on. I called Bobby, no answer. I called a girl who lived next door to him, "Hey Michelle, sorry it's late, I need Bobby, go wake him for me?"
"Hey, Elle let me go knock...Oh wait, his doors open...Oh...he's not there...." "Ummm, okay, when he get's back, send me a text if you're still up, thank you so much Michelle!"
Whaaaaa? Not in his room and it's 2am? I call repeatedly, no answer. Finally, I call it quits and go to bed.
6am..."Hey Elle, he just got back...."
I call him at 7am and finally he answers. "Why was your phone off and where were you til 6am?"
He keeps lying to me. I keep asking the same questions, "did you kiss her?" Finally no turns into yes. "Did she go down on you?" No turns into yes. "Did you fuck her?" "No stays no, but I am not dumb enough to think he hit the brakes. He actually cheated on me. On my birthday. The day HE saved for me last year. How dare he make a day thats hard, even harder? How am I supposed to ever be happy again on my birthday knowing my grandmother who was my bestfriend died on that AND the guy I wanted to spend my life with cheated on me. Devastated doesn't begin to cover how that felt.
"Elle, you told me you hated me!!! You broke up with me!"
"Bobby, my mom was driving you to the airport this morning to see me, I didn't break up with you! I can't believe you cheated on me."
My roommate actually took a photo of me on this phone call. Red, puffy eyes, birthday crown on my head, curled up in my desk chair. (if you wanna see it, ask me, it's kind of hilarious..."when the princess loses the prince")
I stop speaking to him. He goes crazy. I send a message to the whore he cheated on me with (also still in my fb message archives somewhere), he sends flowers, gifts, even a singing telegram to my dorm. A guy in a bright purple suit shows up with giant balloons and starts serenading me in front of my entire floor. OMFG. It was the funniest and also most embarassing thing.
Then there's Nate. Things are over with Bobby and Nate didn't fail to notice. Instead of dating someone 10 hours away, now all I have to do is climb a flight of stairs and crawl into bed. Convenience factor 10/10.
Bobby shows up at my school two weekends later. Tail between legs, devastated, apologetic, you name it - he felt it. He tells me he is applying to transfer to my school because he isn't going to lose me. HUH? NO way....My college was way more fun than his but I can't imagine him actually doing it.
Well, after a tense weekend of me making him sleep on my dorm room floor, he applied and got accepted.
He didn't end up transferring and things really started to fall apart. Before you know it, we are back home for Thanksgiving together. Then it's Christmas break. I'd been talking to Bobby but spending time with Nate and everything was a confusing mess. (as per usual for me)
I still loved Bobby but I vowed to myself that if he ever cheated on me, I'd never take him. Ever.
So we hooked up and the feelings were still there but out of respect for myself, I couldn't go back to what we were.
Eventually, I dated Nate. You can read about the throwdown between Nate and Bobby one summer in this post. The feelings still never went away for Bobby but I tried to "out of sight, out of mind him." He dated a girl after me with the same damn name AND he brought her home for Christmas...I wasn't pleased. Luckily, he snagged girls way less attractive than me and I kept snagging people way more attractive than him. I never found the same chemistry with anyone else and after last night, I now know, neither did he.
So you are wondering, why the hell did organizing old photos lead to this long winded walk down memory lane? And wait, how do you know he never found the same chemistry?