My monthly horoscope told me that March 12th would be a big day for me relationship wise.
Holy shit, that was yesterday...
And a big day it was.
It wasn't supposed to be.
XF had been up my ass about seeing each other and I found a new restaurant I wanted to try so he offered to take me Sunday.
We dine well together, why not?
Well, what started well did not end that way.
He shows up looking great (dressed perfectly as always) with a TON of my favorite flowers.
Hooooray to a Sunday funday that begins with flowers!
We head to our first destination for a pre-dinner snack and some champagne.
That's when he sees my tinder app has 1 notification.
"So you're still on tinder..."
Sigh. We are not together, you knew that. Why are we even going to discuss this?
The mood shifts and I desperately try and get back to the good vibes.
Finally, he warms back up to me.
As the night goes on, we end up arguing here and there about things of the past.
By the time we are in the uber, headed back to my place - we are both crying.
JESUS how did this escalate so fast?!
We go to bed angry, he's sobbing, threatens to leave and drive home, I talk him out of it and the whole night is just complete shit.
I remind him how I was girlfriend of the fucking year prior to him letting me down ten thousand damn times.
I remind him how his fucking fantasy football draft was more important than being present in the moment when meeting my ENTIRE FAMILY.
And how he didn't tell his cousin to fuck off when she was berating me at Starbucks or how he didn't deck her in the face when she asked him "how he could ever handle being married to someone with Muslim blood."
Yeah, I am still bitter as hell apparently.
It only really shows its ugly head when too much alcohol has been involved but geeeeesh, we went from a good time, to a decent time, to a really fucking bad time.
He's out of town for a few days (thank God) and I think I am going to suggest a 60 day detox where we just cease communication and see how we feel after 60 days.
This is all too much. I need to let go of my resentment towards him (whether we get married or not) it's the healthy thing to do and I MUST find a way to achieve that.
Just thinking about XF makes my head spin. Bleh.
Anyways, off to get some work done and battle this horrific hangover. Stay tuned for date 3's with Chase & Velcro. They're not planned yet but I feel them in my future.