Basically the second a guy can smell you might want a relationship, he dips and does the "fade away." What's hilarious is, guys typically really do want what they can't easily have. So if you start to become easily accessible, Bruce is gonna go find a new tinderella to fuck with.
Well, I can play that game. I may have slipped up with the double invite but that was so last week.
I gave off the odor of giving a fuck and now I've showered that shit right off and am ready to play!
1. Antonio asked me to dinner for tonight. (it's 1am and I can't sleep but technically he asked me yesterday)
2. I said yes, nonchalantly of course. He first suggested a place near his house, I declined that (fuck you I am not going out of my way) and he then followed up with a place next to mine. Atta boy.
3. I ended my text as promised with, "cool, cya then." He followed up with, "sweet." Whatever.
4. My horoscope for today is attached below. Basically it's trying to talk me out of my glorious plan. ARGHHHH I know fucking with the universe is a bad idea but I am no doormat!!!! I need to be able to set atleast a few boundaries tomorrow if I am to continue seeing this toad
5. I really am ready to go in for the W and exile this toad off my roster. You didn't contact me at all since FRIDAY and Friday was ONE text declining an invitation. YOU KIND OF SUCK.
The plan as of now:
Arrive 15 minutes late and not send a text. "Oh, I thought we planned on 7:45pm, oops..." He can sit there like an ass and wonder if I stood him up or not, sweat it out Bruce.
I am wearing heeled boots that make me look like cat woman/will make me taller than him. I get weird about the height thing but these boots are fierce and I am here to S L A Y.
When I see him, walk in and just say, "hey whats up, how are you?" No smiles, no hugs, no typical Elle. (I am usually always smiling)
You want me to warm back up then you're gonna need to step up your game.
Mia asked me tonight, "what if the date goes really well? What will you do??"
The dates with this toad ALWAYS go well. I expect nothing different tomorrow. He clearly loves the fact that I am disinterested and he clearly hated when I showed too much interest.
I am laying it out for him tomorrow. Something like this...
"So I found that screenshot a tad stupid. I know you're still on tinder, I am too - unsure what the point of that was since you "weren't following up"?? (listen to garbage reply)
Oh and just so we are clear, you told me you don't want a relationship and that's fine with me, don't get the impression I am trying to change that - I am not in the business of changing people. If a guy wants to date me, he will."
Then I'll make sure to check my phone often during the meal. (obviously that's rude and what you do to people who aren't holding your interest.)
Then if he suggests going back to my place and IF the date went well, I'll probablyyyyyy go for it. Might as well have one more round of satisfying sex considering that isn't a given in all relationships so enjoy it when you get it. Anddddd if I am ready to cut him loose at the end - as soon as the sex is over I'll toss him his clothes (avoid the cuddles that he loves so much), tell him I'm tired, walk him to the door, kiss him and say, "thanks for dinner, that was a good time but I think we are done here, good luck on tinder!" and close the door.
Can you imagine the shock? He thinks he's back in my good graces, we had sex, how could he not be and then I drop the cya never bomb? That is definitely a mic drop, game winning move. No Bruce would ever suspect that AND then it makes it look like I used him. Muhahahaha, I like this part.
Lastly, because my damn horoscope said what it says, if things are exceptionally good and he genuinely apologizes/we clear the air, MAYBE there will be another chance granted. But you better bet I am not inviting him to another goddamn event for a loooooongggg time. You can chase me Bruce. You can prove your worth. If you don't wanna be consistent, I want nada to do with you.
I know it seems like I am taking this a bit far but 1. a text is the easiest thing to send 2. we are only seeing each other tomorrow because he sent me a screenshot of him matching with my best fucking friend 3. he took the time to carefully crop the screenshot in the corners, someone explain that logic to me, avoiding the time stamp? 4. I deserve more than points 1 and 2.
So let's play/slay.
Stay tuned love bugsssssssss shits about to get fun!
Blair Waldorf oh fuck I mean Elle