When I awoke the next morning, head in the clouds, trying to piece together the night before I walked directly into Jake.
"Oh, HEY! Sorry about last night, I guess I went to bed? Don't really remember...."
Jake: "Yeah, I was looking for you."
"Yeah, my phone was on the basement floor...sorry about that...Thanks for coming though, so much fun!"
Well, if he knew I think he would've been like FUCK you and left at the crack of dawn...
I don't really feel bad because I didn't make the move on Arash, and I had no intention of having someone in my bed besides Jake.
So all day on the 1st Arash and I avoided eye contact, kept our interactions as normal as we could and didn't speak of the events prior.
The next day...
I am in the kitchen, being awkward and he says, "so should we talk about NYE?"
E: "Ummm, I guess if we have to...."
A: "Well, I think we should...."
E: "Okay, go ahead, talk."
A: "Well, I think if we kept doing it things could get complicated....you're still talking to XF."
E: "and you're still talking to Becky"
E: "The way I see it, it was bound to happen eventually and now we know it didn't feel like kissing your cousin which is good! Alcohol + attraction = NYE. It's only awkward if we make it awkward."
E: "What aren't you saying? Say something"
A: "I don't want to say too much..."
E: "You won't hurt my feelings, I promise."
A: "No, its not like that."
E: "Just say it then!"
A: "Let's hug it out, we are adults, it's all good!"
20 minutes later I walk into his room to ask if there really is nothing else he needed to say. He assures me there isn't.
OK, so NBD let's just try and pretend that didn't happen and go on with our lives....
That was going great until....
Friday night was a girls night and during our gossip sesh, the gals decided I should try again with Arash and see how it feels.
Well, Friday got too late so I set my sights on Saturday.
We went shopping together for jeans for him aka he was my persian ken doll all day. That was fun and also a really solid reminder that he is super fucking hot. Then we get home and decide we should go out and not waste a Saturday. There's a college game he'd like to watch and some of his friends are already out at a bar watching. I hate sports but I don't plan to sit on my ass all night so hey, might as well go.
I end up sitting next to a guy who is also not a fan of this team and is familiar with my college town seeing as he was born 10 mins outside of it. We hit it off, he's funny, he's hot, he has a thing for Persian girls. (He strategically mentioned he had a Persian gf whose parents he met and learned 3 lines of farsi to try and impress)
We are getting along really well and he keeps buying me drinks.
He then asks if I am dating the hot Persian guy I came with. "Nah, that's my bestfriend / roommate."
His reply, "good."
We move onto a new bar and spend the entire time talking only to each other. He's buying me drinks still, telling me funny stories, slips in how "his type is me." We'd already exchanged numbers earlier in the night but my phone broke while we were out thus he had to write the number on a coaster. He also asked me on an actual date for this week but seeing as he was pretty drunk, doubt he remembers.
Anyways, I met a really hot, cool, funny, down to earth guy at a bar on the night that my mission is to kiss my roommate. Doesn't that figure.
SO cute bar guy leaves for a new bar and I promise I will meet him there shortly. At this point, I have all the alcohol confidence in the world.
I watch cute guy walk out of the bar and I march up to Arash.
"So I think we should what we did last weekend this weekend...I know it's a bad idea but I can't stop thinking about it."
IDK what he says back but then we are kissing for what feels like 4 hours at this bar. It's intense and this place is crowded, how embarassingly un-selfaware of me. In the moment, I don't care. He is so hot and I can't help myself. I vaguely remember mentioning we should give this a go for 30 days then decide if it's weird....he did say he was all in for that and that we'd probably wind up married... I asked if he was jealous about cute bar guy, he said yes, I asked if he'd been tempted to kiss me again since last week, he said definitely.
EEEEEEEK. Definitely not down for this 30 day plan, I don't wanna tie myself into anything. I'd like to see how I feel towards Arash but ahhhh any type of exclusivity right now makes my head spin. STUPID ELLE!
We uber home, I fall asleep on his shoulder, as per usual. We stumble inside, I wake up in his bed, naked again.
I stumble out of bed to find a trail of clothes from my front door to his bed...I then stumble myself into my own bed and curse myself for not enough eating and too much drinking. I feel like death. He comes and crawls into my bed, apparently feeling no pain. How am I the only hungover one right now? Why do I drink? This is misery and I should know better. STUPID ELLE.
We spend the rest of the day/night together - not discussing the night before and not kissing/touching whatsoever.
I guess it's a late-night Saturday type bit we've got going on? Who knows.
What I do know is I cancelled plans with XF Sunday because I was too hungover to function and didn't want to make things weird with Arash by having XF swoop in less than 8 hours after I publicly molested him at a bar.
Sigh...this is not how I expected 2017 to begin. More confused than 2016 and more sure I do NOT want to be committed to anyone right now.
More to come on...new fellas, old fellas, Bobby update...