They say you always want what you can't have. So if you get that thing you wanted for a finite moment and then it goes away - maybe that is enough to show you that where you are currently really isn't so bad.
Mistakes are tricky business. Every decision you've made up until this point has led you to where you stand now. I'm still single because I jumped ship from every serious relationship I've ever had.
That's caused me to reflect for more hours than I should on "what if I hadn't made that choice?"
What if I hadn't cut off dickhead#1? Well...I would've never dated Liam, moved to the suburbs, met the woman who led me to starting my first successful business.
Would I give up my success to have dickhead#1 as my life partner? Nope.
I love having plenty of my own money, depending on no one and being able to call all the shots in my life. I know that my path as an entrepreneur means I might not always have this life...when I get married and have kids my husband will likely be the $$ maker who supports us because my goals will have changed from workaholic to mother. That's fine by me, I'm glad I got to experience full fledge success, created solely by me. It's been a great journey and I think it'll make me appreciate the rest of the road down the line even more...but that doesn't stop me from wondering what it could've been like...
What if I hadn't ended it with Liam? Likely, I'd be living in the suburbs still - would I still be miserable or would I have grown accustom to "this is what it means to grow up" and just deal with it?
I wouldn't have my roommate Arash who I honestly can't imagine my life without now. I wouldn't have my gorgeous apartment, new group of friends, or X factor. I would've never joined my gym that I love so much because there isn't one in his town, but you don't miss what you've never had, right?
I've made mistakes. Some recently, some in the past. Some I regret and some that I have learned to accept and understand that they really helped me grow into the pseudo adult I pretend to be now.
I've got another friend who is ready to jump off a cliff because he thinks he just wrecked things with a girl he really likes. He made an idiotic error and doesn't see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Well friend, I'm here to tell you - somehow, some way -- it's all going to be okay.
My most recent mistake has made me realize that I put in jeopardy something that is very important to me and that I have to live with my bad decisions. No one else has to deal with them except me. On the flip side, it has given me a newfound appreciation that I had begun to lose... so without getting to technical, sometimes shit just needs to happen.
Cheers to not beating ourselves up,
Elle