Where did we last leave off with my love life … or lack thereof?
Quick recap: Speed dating from hell, a couple of guys who couldn’t execute plans and getting stood up … twice. Suffice to say, I needed to take a dating break. I was so sick of the online toads and chose to shift my focus to things I wanted to do: have fun with my friends and travel. Maybe try meeting some people in person? They say it happens when you least expect it, right? Lofty goals, I know.
Spoiler alert: Still single, still looking … and now I’m back on the Tinder train.
Thankfully, Elle is right there with me now and so is our other bff Double Trouble. This may be the first time we’ve all been single, aggressively dating and not giving two fucks — and it’s great. Even better? It means I have some entertaining stories to share as well.
I booked myself an aggressive weekend of dates. Thursday, Friday, potential Saturday and Sunday. I was impressed with myself, but I really just needed to get over the hump, suck it up and get the hell out there. And I did.
Ok Thursday night: Wesley. Executive chef, 34, 6’4” … seemed cute and active in his photos. We had some good conversation on the app and he executed in asking me out pretty quickly, which I appreciated. (Boys, take note … one of the worst things you can do if you’re interested in a gal is string her along with talk and talk and no action. ASK. HER. OUT. Give her a time a date and a place and PLAN. AHEAD. It’s not that difficult. It’s also a HUGE pet peeve of mine. #endrant). We go to a bar for drinks. He walks in, is definitely tall like his photos but … he’s bald. Definitely wasn’t in his photos but oh well, I can deal. He greets me with THE most awkward half hug side kiss I have ever encountered. I think … ohhhhh boy.
Long story short (I won’t bore you too much with this one) he talked mostly about himself, I was asking all the questions and he barely asked questions about me. Yawn. The date ends, he doesn’t walk me to my car but just to the corner and again we exchange an UBER awkward side hug/cheek kiss. Obviously wasn’t meant to be but you gotta start somewhere, right?
Now on to Friday … the dreaded double date with Elle.
I was looking forward to this one, I thought it’d be fun to do a double with my bff and we had gotten confirmation from Jake that the one gent was tall and good looking. Plus the dude had been in touch with Elle all week, confirmed a date and time and was following through. What ensued was hilarity, to say the least.
The boys called Elle and said they were on the way to the bar, we were coming from the same neighborhood so they asked if we wanted a ride. Elle said yes and (after struggling with directions…) they finally made it to Elle’s. Yes, we met these toads for the first time in an Uber. The supposedly “tall” and “good looking” toad gets out of the car … and is a solid 2-3 inches shorter than me. (I’m 5’7” which isn’t *that* tall … at this point, seems like Jake knew what he was doing here) and his friend is basically a mute. Tinder toad #1 is talking the whole ride about who knows what, tinder toad #2 says maybe five words the entire time. We arrive at the bar and Elle and I excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom.
THANKFULLY we were thinking the same thing: How the hell are we going to get out of this snoozefest? Elle is two steps ahead of me and has already concocted a plan. We’ll stay for a drink and then execute our planned exit. We end up sucking our drinks down pretty quickly, entertain the toads for 15-20 minutes, then I say I have a call I have to take outside, text Elle and say I fell down the stairs and twisted my ankle pretty badly and that I called an Uber to go home because it hurt so bad. She shows the Tinder toads the texts and says she has to go check on me, they say they’ll follow she says no! but apparently they started to follow … she sprints down the stairs and meets me on the street and we literally sprint away from them. #sorrynotsorry
So that’s the latest on my trials and tribulations. Saturday’s ended up being a no-show. Sunday’s was actually … dare I say … promising?
That’s all for now, stay tuned for the details on Sunday’s date and more!