IDK where to begin.
For starters, I now remember why I don't remember the sex.
He still loves me and is willing to move to be with me.
Nostalgia is a beautiful thing.
I walk into his hotel and find him at the hotel bar. Holy shit, its crazy to be standing in front of Nate after so many years.
This guy embodies my entire college career. We may not have been dating consistently the entire four years but we met on day 1 and he was my best friend til the end.
All of my best college memories involve Nate.
We hug, we small chatter, and we head outside to drink and catch up.
Things are back to how they used to be. An easy banter and warm familiarity.
Four years of togetherness is something you can't shake. Kinda crazy that my longest relationship (Nate) was also my least serious. We were crazy college kids and I was never totally over Bobby.
So we head to a bar near the place we are having dinner. We finally get into the good stuff...dating.
Nate: "So what's the deal with you? I am pretty surprised you're not married yet."
Elle: "Yeah, I've had plenty of opportunities to be married but something was missing each time...I don't want a run of the mill, boring life. I want excitement and I want to have that spark."
Nate: "Elle, you're preaching to the choir. My whole family keeps asking why I don't have a girlfriend...everyone since you has only lasted 3-4 months and then I lose interest."
Elle: "That's crazy you haven't dated anyone seriously since me...."
Nate: "You set the bar pretty high Elle..."
Elle: "Aw, thanks Nate. That makes me really happy to hear. I know I wasn't the best girlfriend during our college days so it's nice to hear you look back at us with fondness."
Nate: "I made my mistakes too...but no regrets when it comes to you."
We finish our drinks and head to the restaurant.
This place is amazing. Small, cozy, dark, smells incredible.
We are a few drinks in and things are getting cozier.
Nate: "Elle, you're just so dang pretty."
Aw, gosh he's such an awesome guy. In college he was always a bit of a bad boy and I really liked that he had such an edge. The more we talk, the more I see that edge has been replaced and he's really just a successful, nice guy now. It's nice to see how much has changed yet how good it feels to be reunited.
We finish dinner and head to one more spot for a drink. He starts to get handsy. Holding my hand, touching my back, rubbing my leg. Finallyyyyy. I was wondering if we were ever gonna get this show moving.
We depart the bar and head back to his hotel.
I lay back on the bed and bam, he's on top of me.
Whew, I forgot how much I loved kissed Nate. It's so effortless and so perfect. Definitely in my top five.
Things progress anddddddd bam, whiskey dick. It's just not gonna happen.
So we slow the roll and get back to the kissing and talking.
Nate: "Elle, I still love you."
Elle: "I love you too, a part of me always will. The best four years of my life were spent with you in them."
Nate: "You remember what you said at graduation?"
Nate: "That you thought it'd be us getting married one day...."
Elle: "Yeah but then we never saw each other again after graduation and it's only a 1 hour flight...if you wanted me, you would've made something happen before now."
Nate: "After college I wanted to come after you. But Ohio and DC, neither felt like the right moves. IDK I definitely should've. You are the only girl I've ever loved."
Elle: "You didn't come after me though. You didn't try."
Nate: "Yeah, well I guess it's better late than never. I was really excited to see you today."
Elle: "Me too, it's been so long overdue."
Nate: "Do you think we could make this work Elle? I'd move for you. We could do California. I can work anywhere and the piece of my life that's missing seems really apparent that it's....you."
Okay, am I living a movie right now? This is insane. I knew we'd hookup (or at least attempt to) but this whole convo? Damn. A lot more than I bargained for....
He grabs me and starts kissing me again.
Nate: "I haven't kissed anyone like this in over five years..."
Elle: "That's an adorable thing to say but why do you keep me on this pedestal? You aren't letting yourself find someone new because you compare them all to me....that's not good, Nate."
Nate: "I can't help it. You were my first everything and I love and loved you so much. This all feels so right. It always has."
We pass out and this morning
Damn, he is not packing the heat. How did I do this for four years?!
Shiiiiiiit it is tiny.
We go to change positions when I look down and shriek - "oh FUCK my period started! CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!"
Jesus Christ how in the world has this happened to me twice in the past six months?
(Once with Antonio, now with Nate, thank God not with Rami)
Elle: "Well I guess it's good you're my ex and you love me because I am mortified."
Nate: "Relax, shit happens."
We get cleaned up and go grab breakfast.
FML I still am in shock. UGH.
During breakfast he tells me he will come to DC to see me and asks if I'll come back to see him Tuesday night (he leaves LA Wednesday).
I said I'd try. I really wanted a photo together and we failed to get one so I think I will likely head back up there.
After breakfast, we kiss and he says, "let's make sure this happens sooner next time.."
"I promise it will."
and off I go.
We haven't talked since but I am going to try to to see him again.
He really would be on the roster if the sex had the potential to be decent but it definitely doesn't.
I feel bad, he really put it all on the table and I know I can't reciprocate as he'd prefer.
So there you have it.
The return of Nate.