Everrrrrry toad keeps saying how perfect I am...Ummm...you guys must be complete idiots because that couldn't be further from the truth..
I am playing you all like it's my job, cute you think I am so sweet though.
Actually, it'd be nice to have a guy who understood that I have more options than I know what to do with these days..maybe lose this perfect crown so we can be real about things? Perhaps in due time...
Last night I went over to Jake's....
The sex the day before was so insane I couldn't resist, just neeeeded it.
So we hooked up, it was fantastic, he tells me "you're so perfect" & finally I decided we should "talk." Put this perfect shit to bed...
He immediately got nervous and tensed up...
Fuck, where do I even start with this?
Me: "So we haven't realllllly talked since the day after your birthday party when I cheated on XF...and I want to clear a few things up...
1. I am definitely not perfect, if I was, I wouldn't have cheated on my ex with you
2. I am not looking for marriage and kids RIGHT now but it's gotta be on the table with the next guy I call my boyfriend. If I choose you, you've gotta be all in and really ready to be a boyfriend, not just my fuckbuddy friend."
Jake: "I don't think too much about the future beyond wanting to be successful, I'm an up and comer, on the rise kinda guy...I don't have it all together yet and I know you want and deserve a guy who has their life together. But we are perfect and I think we should just give this a try. There is no one I've wanted since I met you."
Me: "Yeah, I'm not ready for a boyfriend yet....It's been a month and it wouldn't be fair to you for me to lie about where I am in the stages of getting over my ex. I need more time. I just wanted you to know its OK that you don't have it all together yet...I'd just want to know that if we dated we'd both be working towards a long term future together not just something for the right now.
Would you step it up if you were my boyfriend?"
Jake: "Yeah, I'd probably step it up."
Jake: "I mean yeah, I'd definitely step up my game. I hate you dating all these different guys, it makes me so bitter when I know what we have."
Me: "I am not looking just for some rich guy, I am more concerned with the small stuff...being helpful, opening doors, going out of your way to make me happy, etc. That is how my dad raised me and it's what I expect...The little things end up being the big things in life...its all a summation, you know?"
Jake: "Yeah I get it. We get along so well, we have a decent amount in common, we just have chemistry Elle..."
Me: "Yeah but I need more than just chemistry..."
Ugh, he isn't getting the hint that he needs to step up his small stuff game BIG times...
So no we are not dating, I am not locking myself down until after Miami birthday weekend - that's for damn sure. I don't need to feel guilty for having the best time of my life.
I am not settling this time...if I do give Jake a chance it means....
Cyrus didn't pursue me...(he hasn't texted since Sunday) and Jake stepped up his small stuff game, big times.
Who do you want to win? Cyrus or Jake? Vote below.
PS Podcast launches mid-October! GET EXCITEDDDD!!!!