The series of events that occurred after I found out are simply too fucked up to actually be real life. (but of course, it's real life)
I wake up Thursday, do my usual scroll through instagram and log into facebook.
You know how facebook sometimes chooses to show you a post from "x years ago today" and then lets you re-share the post to reminisce?
Well luckily my facebook isn't a douchebag and doesn't alert me of that kind of stuff. Only once has it done that and it was when I made it on the front page of the Washington Post. (aka best moment ever to reminisce)
But Thursday FB decided to be a dick.
"Elle, 4 years ago today here is a memory!"
{Photo of Liam & my cat putting together Ikea shit}
REALLY FACEBOOK?
DID YA REALLLLLLY HAVE TO PICK THE WEEK HE'S ENGAGED TO REMIND ME THAT WE USED TO BE REALLY FUCKING HAPPY AT ONE POINT? FOUR YEARS AGO TO BE PRECISE.
GEE, FACEBOOK. THANKS SO MUCH. I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW WONDERFUL HE WAS BUT LUCKILY YOU DIDN'T!
motherfucker.
I'd told my bestfriend the night before that I wanted to delete all social media and live a life of quietness. If you wanna know what's up in the life of Elle then you better read the blog, give me a call or send a me text.
You can't get away with typing my name into FB and IG and finding out the latest.
Of course I didn't delete my accounts and THIS IS WHAT I GET INSTEAD.
OH it gets better.
I walk into the Audi dealer to drop my car for it's 10k service appointment and WHO DO I SEE.
No, not Liam.
HIS BEST FUCKING FRIEND
Dan.
I haven't seen Dan since Liam and I broke up. Our paths never cross. But as karma would have it, Dan just started a new job Monday in the Audi service department and BOOM here he is. and I'm not wearing makeup. and Im hungover from the night before due to drowning my misery in Veuve and Pinot Noir.
I see him and immediately spazz. Holy shit. OMG.
I start slurring my words, speaking too fast to my service advisor, trying to be nice to Dan and make small talk while keeping my shit together.
My hands are shaking. I am sweating. Hair twirling. Taking coat off, putting it back on. Tapping fingers. Biting my cheek.
HOLY LORD, MAKE THIS STOP.
Dan walks me out to my loaner car and proceeds to tell me his life story the past x years. The entire time I am WAITING for him to drop the Liam is engaged bomb. I know he's the type to want to gauge my reaction.
I am ready for you, I am ready for you, I am ready for you....
40 minutes later, he never mentions Liam or his nuptials.
RELIEF.
He does however tell me that I am looking mighty skinny and fit.
(ONLY SILVER LINING TO THIS ENTIRE WEEK IS THIS COMMENT.)
Thank you Dan for noticing the countless hours I spend in the gym like a meat head bro.
So finally Thursday is coming to an end and I am driving home from work
when that new Adele song, Hello comes on.
I hadn't really listened to it before but decided I'd give it a go. The hype was insane for this damn thing. What's so special?
(cue another terrible idea)
I will sign off with the lyrics posted. IT COULDN'T BE MORE ACCURATE OF MY LIFE / PAST WITH LIAM. I will highlight the parts that make me want to cry/die.
---------
"I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing
Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart
Anymore
Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?
It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time"
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Elle