Here's a fun story to remind everyone that ladies aren't the only terrors in this whole wedding process.
X Factor is friends with this guy Daniel. Daniel lives in Minnesota now and met Tiffany on Eharmony. After asking her out multiple times, she finallllly agreed to go on a date and then bam, they fall in love.
First off - if a guy had to keep asking me out, I'd assume he was a desperate loser. But obviously everyone does things differently and this worked out because within 1 year of dating, they live together and are engaged.
So X factor is chosen to be Daniel's best man which is HILARIOUS to me. Daniel is childish, immature, dramatic and loves the use of a hashtag. X factor is a no nonsense kinda fella, doesn't do social media and if he did - would never fucking hashtag something.
(Daniel and Tiffany's wedding website is THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN and I sincerely wish I could share it with you all. They give this long, drawn out timeline and story of how they met to how they got engaged... It actuallllly might be worth me going back and adding excerpts in - it's that fucking stupid and hilarious. I read it aloud to a friend one day in my best Tiffany voice and she almost peed herself)
Anyhoooo -- Daniel is hellllllbent on having matching tank tops made for all of his fellas to wear at his bachelor party.
There are so many things wrong with this on so many levels, where do I begin....
1. ONLY annoying sorority chicks do that (PSA to my girlfriends reading this, NO I will not wear some dumb fucking shirt at your bachelorette party and you better not even consider wearing a "bride" shirt or tank because that is so white trash my eyes literally bleed)
2. its not even a t-shirt, its a tank top! like a douchey body builder gym tank top and none of these dudes are ripped. I mean NONE.
3. as best man, X factor + half the guys with brains vetoed this idea HARD. Who wants to be at the club looking like a bunch of sorority bitches?
4. Daniel gives NO fucks. Legitimately had a breakdown on facetime Sunday/nearly cried because X factor wasn't supporting his douchey tank top idea.
5. This forced x-factor to send an email saying they will all buy whatever dumb ass tank top to support Daniel
6. That led to me getting screenshots last night of the four proposed tank top designs which then led to a massive, massive attack of laughter - I nearly threw up my stomach hurt so bad.
Guys....these tanks are SO FUNNY. It's basically what you'd want your future hubby to be stuck wearing on a bachelor party because no girl in her right mind would try and hit on him while wearing this tank top.
I kid you not - one of them has a fleur de lis on it....I'd add the photos to this post but then I'd be giving away their last names so sadly, I can't. OMG anddddddd there are hashtags ALL over the tanks!!! X factor basically shit a brick of anger when he saw this. Which only made me laugh harder.
Daniel saw the designs and texted X factor, "good best man, good best man for getting on board with my tank tops."
X factor's disgust upon reading that text was palpable. Once again, causing me to laugh endlessly at his misery. (sidenote - Daniel loves himself some instagram action so I know the entire weekend will not only have it's own bach party hashtag but there will be tons of photographic evidence of X-factor wearing a tank top that matches 14 other guys....#cantfuckingwait #nevergonnalivethisdown)
This wedding is going to be a shit show for me. Not only do I not know anyone, there is a high probability I will have nothing in common with any of them. The bride is obsessed with social media and posts 2093834097309482048 things about how perfect Daniel is...aka I always feel like vomiting when scrolling through her things. I keep joking with X factor that if I dump him before this wedding, he's gonna be stuck sitting there with a group of clowns without anyone to commiserate with. His response is, "you wouldn't hate me enough to make me endure this alone." ohhhh but you never know! ;)
So moral of this drawn out story is... people are paying to attend your bach event -- don't force a fucking shirt on them too. Don't force anything on them. Go with the flow, have fun, don't be a fucking ZILLA, get wasted and be happy your friends love you enough to drop a fuck ton of money on your "special day" and everything that goes along with it.
Lastly - for everyone who says their wedding is the best day of their life, I AM CALLING BULLSHIT. Yeah, it's a big day but its also a logistical nightmare that you've starved yourself for months for to fit into that dress and look good in photos...I'm sure you'll have a better day in your life where you're eating pizza and giving zero fucks - let's hope your wedding isn't your peak.
ta ta for now,
#bye #groomzilla #justfuckingwithyou