Ladies,
Guys realllllly like the chase. The games. The bullshit. Now that I have all the power with Antonio, he's a fish on a line.
Exhibit A:
Friday -
More texts from this clown than I've received in an entire week.
Let's start from the beginning.
10am - A: "The number of people trying to get away from their families for the holidays is apparently enough to quell any spontaneous trip to Mexico, leaving me, without any hostage jewelry, solidly relegated to a bin you have undoubtedly labeled, "yogi you call for a flat tire." Atleast, that's what I penned in my straight to e-book, "the misadventures of little Antonio."
E: "Letting me down all over the place these days. Guess it's back to the drawing board. (Attached screenshot of my tinder inbox aka all super likes) Consider us even now" (you know for the s/c of the match with Mia)
A: "Those are some goodlooking dudes. Except Si, what's going on there?"
E: "hahaha"
A: "Still, you appear to be trending toward height supremacist. It was nice getting called up to the big (little) leagues once;)"
E: "Height supremacist? All DC guys are short, so I'm afraid you're wrong."
A: "lol, I'm above average, actually. If I was funny, I'd be golden. Tell me, do you like this part of the game more? Sitting in the drivers seat?"
E: "dating is a game of ping pong, the power only lasts so long, so you have to enjoy it when you have it"
A: "very poetic"
E: "Romance at it's finest. How do you prefer it, yogapants?"
A: " ping pong isn't much fun by yourself, so I would say I like the volley. If I'm not serving, I want to be, until I don't. Doesn't everyone want what they can't have? (of fucking course, wait it gets worse)
I don't fight but I like conflict. I'll obviously never write poetry or a book of analogies."
E: "Thank God for that, no one would buy/read it. Conflict keeps things interesting I suppose...That being said, you're a freak."
A: "Is that a challenge?"
That's where the interesting part ends.
So now we have learned that guys enjoy conflict, want what they can't have and suck at texting.
Aren't you so hopeful for the future, ladies? Remember when this guy was coming over at 11pm to change my tire? Was texting me every damn day because it was the right thing to do? RIP to that fella, he clearly died a few weeks back and was replaced with this motherfucking toad.
Moving on...I have a date with this aggressive ass Afghan toad who I told I was moving to Dallas because I decided I didn't want to meet him. He was so so sosososososososososososo persistent, I finally caved and agreed to meet him.
He picked a legit date spot so I figured, fine. I'll do it. I need to distract myself from this b/s with Antonio anyways.
As I am getting ready I get this screenshot below... FML, I DON'T WANNA DO THISSSSSSSSSS.
I go because I don't wanna be an asshole and I picked a really hot outfit so I can always just go out afterwards....
This toad is so serious. SO ready to get married. So just not my type at all. Zero sense of humor. He also got plastered. I finally told him i needed to get home 2.5 hours later, I got him into his uber (literally shoved him out the door) and said I was waiting for mine. Mind you, five glasses of wine on an empty stomach is pretttttty intense so I am not in a sober decision making state of mind.
I plan to meet up with Arash who bails. Then one of my girlfriends who bails. Then my Lebanese hookup (can't remember what I named him on the blog but I've def written about him) and he's out of town. Then I text Jake and Antonio, "awake?"
Antonio replies first and I'm 2 blocks from his house.
A: "Sadly, yes."
E: "Wanna play? I'm in your hood"
A: " You baffle me. Stop by"
Guys realllllly like the chase. The games. The bullshit. Now that I have all the power with Antonio, he's a fish on a line.
Exhibit A:
Friday -
More texts from this clown than I've received in an entire week.
Let's start from the beginning.
10am - A: "The number of people trying to get away from their families for the holidays is apparently enough to quell any spontaneous trip to Mexico, leaving me, without any hostage jewelry, solidly relegated to a bin you have undoubtedly labeled, "yogi you call for a flat tire." Atleast, that's what I penned in my straight to e-book, "the misadventures of little Antonio."
E: "Letting me down all over the place these days. Guess it's back to the drawing board. (Attached screenshot of my tinder inbox aka all super likes) Consider us even now" (you know for the s/c of the match with Mia)
A: "Those are some goodlooking dudes. Except Si, what's going on there?"
E: "hahaha"
A: "Still, you appear to be trending toward height supremacist. It was nice getting called up to the big (little) leagues once;)"
E: "Height supremacist? All DC guys are short, so I'm afraid you're wrong."
A: "lol, I'm above average, actually. If I was funny, I'd be golden. Tell me, do you like this part of the game more? Sitting in the drivers seat?"
E: "dating is a game of ping pong, the power only lasts so long, so you have to enjoy it when you have it"
A: "very poetic"
E: "Romance at it's finest. How do you prefer it, yogapants?"
A: " ping pong isn't much fun by yourself, so I would say I like the volley. If I'm not serving, I want to be, until I don't. Doesn't everyone want what they can't have? (of fucking course, wait it gets worse)
I don't fight but I like conflict. I'll obviously never write poetry or a book of analogies."
E: "Thank God for that, no one would buy/read it. Conflict keeps things interesting I suppose...That being said, you're a freak."
A: "Is that a challenge?"
That's where the interesting part ends.
So now we have learned that guys enjoy conflict, want what they can't have and suck at texting.
Aren't you so hopeful for the future, ladies? Remember when this guy was coming over at 11pm to change my tire? Was texting me every damn day because it was the right thing to do? RIP to that fella, he clearly died a few weeks back and was replaced with this motherfucking toad.
Moving on...I have a date with this aggressive ass Afghan toad who I told I was moving to Dallas because I decided I didn't want to meet him. He was so so sosososososososososososo persistent, I finally caved and agreed to meet him.
He picked a legit date spot so I figured, fine. I'll do it. I need to distract myself from this b/s with Antonio anyways.
As I am getting ready I get this screenshot below... FML, I DON'T WANNA DO THISSSSSSSSSS.
I go because I don't wanna be an asshole and I picked a really hot outfit so I can always just go out afterwards....
This toad is so serious. SO ready to get married. So just not my type at all. Zero sense of humor. He also got plastered. I finally told him i needed to get home 2.5 hours later, I got him into his uber (literally shoved him out the door) and said I was waiting for mine. Mind you, five glasses of wine on an empty stomach is pretttttty intense so I am not in a sober decision making state of mind.
I plan to meet up with Arash who bails. Then one of my girlfriends who bails. Then my Lebanese hookup (can't remember what I named him on the blog but I've def written about him) and he's out of town. Then I text Jake and Antonio, "awake?"
Antonio replies first and I'm 2 blocks from his house.
A: "Sadly, yes."
E: "Wanna play? I'm in your hood"
A: " You baffle me. Stop by"
E: "Cya in 10."
Thennnnn Jake replies, "come over."
Sorry J, too late.
I get to Antonio's and first thing out of his mouth, "Damn, you're a sight for sore eyes."
I am wearing black heeled boots, black dress and a grey coat. Looking quite fierce.
"Thanks!"
A: "What were you upto?"
E: "Truth or lie, pick one?"
A: "Truth"
E: "A terrible date that lasted 2.5 hours too long"
A: "Ha, being in the drivers seat must be nice. You'd kill me if I called you after a date in your neighborhood."
E: "Yeah, don't try that, I'd never talk to you again."
A: "The perks of being pretty"
E: "You were sitting here working, don't act like I'm not a welcome distraction"
Boom, clothes are off, and you can imagine what happens next.
Then he starts a fire and we lay on the couch, cuddled for awhile talking.
A: "I think it's important for people to date as evenly as they can. Guys are always trying to snag the hottest girl but you shouldn't go for someone way above you. Like right now, you're definitely above me by over 2 points, I am out of my league and I know it."
Do I smell insecurity or am I just drunk?
E: "Well, I have my issues. I am petrified of peoples parents. I can't imagine dating again and getting to the point where the guy wants me to meet the family. I might just break up with him and run, I am that scared of parents now."
A: "My family might be crazy Catholics but they are really, really nice people. They'd never be rude or make you feel bad, I promise."
E: "Yeah, I don't believe that but don't take it personally, I don't believe anyone."
He kisses my forehead like a true boyfriend would. It is becoming increasingly evident that this guy loves his games and bullshit but in reality, he was hurt and he's trying to protect himself with all this other nonsense.
We go crawl into bed naked, cuddle up and start talking as we sink into sleep....
A: "I told you how my ex stopped wanting to have sex with me...we actually started scheduling it for Wednesdays...but it was hard because I really like sex and she'd basically lay there and ask, are you done yet? We went to therapy to try and fix it. She couldn't figure out why she didn't desire me anymore because she still loved me...It was really hard. I didn't want to break up, I've never been broken up with. I've also never lived with someone and I thought I'd marry her. I guess I don't like to think of things as completely final, so you never know about the future...we are still friends, I've seen her recently. She isn't dating anyone, so she didn't end it with me for someone else. But I act the way I do, self deprecating and like an idiot to protect myself. I'm scared to get hurt again and open up...You know, I think we just spent too much time together. Our friendships fell to the wayside and we did everything as a couple."
E: "I don't think spending too much time together is an issue, you're in love and you live with someone...you should wanna do everything together."
A: "Yeah, when I am dating someone I just wanna do it all together...."
E: "My relationships the past few years have been weekend ones so I don't really remember what it's like to "do everything" with someone. But I imagine that a good relationship is one where you do."
And with that, we fell asleep.
When we woke up, we were still cuddled up which is surprising because I usually dip out and sleep on my side.
A: "You're the best to cuddle with, you don't move at all. That was some solid snuggling." (forehead kisses) So I don't want to trap you here and since you're really bad at leaving places you don't want to be (all of your bad dates) heres your options... 1. I'm going to make us breakfast and the head into work, we can uber together since my office is 3 mins from your house 2. I'll call you and uber now and you can escape me once and for all"
E: "feed me."
He makes me breakfast, we uber to his office, the guy parks in front, he grabs me, kisses me for a few minutes, wishes me a merry christmas and a great weekend and we're off.
How do you feel about all of this, Elle?
Well, I'm glad you asked. He's a great guy who isn't quite over his ex. I am a great girl who isn't over my XF. I don't think you really get past an ex until you fall in love again with someone new. I think we both see the potential in each other to be that person. I also think we are both a bit scared of that. He misses his ex, I am still talking to mine, getting into a relationship is a big deal at this age because it's not just something light and fluffy anymore...Getting in is easy, getting out is hard.
I don't want a boyfriend I'm constantly conflicting with, someone I'm worried I'll end up boring and then be left by. I don't wanna keep playing these games. Sure, they are fun and I am REALLY good at it but at some point, you just wanna have goodhearted, stable, fun.
So I was REALLY into him after the gala and now, I'd say thats tapered off. I was geeked out when I didn't hear from him, now I don't really care...I'm a catch and he will either realize it and not let me slip away or he will.
Either way, it'll be for the best.
Sorry that was SO longwinded. It's been quite a dramatic couple of days.
Thennnnn Jake replies, "come over."
Sorry J, too late.
I get to Antonio's and first thing out of his mouth, "Damn, you're a sight for sore eyes."
I am wearing black heeled boots, black dress and a grey coat. Looking quite fierce.
"Thanks!"
A: "What were you upto?"
E: "Truth or lie, pick one?"
A: "Truth"
E: "A terrible date that lasted 2.5 hours too long"
A: "Ha, being in the drivers seat must be nice. You'd kill me if I called you after a date in your neighborhood."
E: "Yeah, don't try that, I'd never talk to you again."
A: "The perks of being pretty"
E: "You were sitting here working, don't act like I'm not a welcome distraction"
Boom, clothes are off, and you can imagine what happens next.
Then he starts a fire and we lay on the couch, cuddled for awhile talking.
A: "I think it's important for people to date as evenly as they can. Guys are always trying to snag the hottest girl but you shouldn't go for someone way above you. Like right now, you're definitely above me by over 2 points, I am out of my league and I know it."
Do I smell insecurity or am I just drunk?
E: "Well, I have my issues. I am petrified of peoples parents. I can't imagine dating again and getting to the point where the guy wants me to meet the family. I might just break up with him and run, I am that scared of parents now."
A: "My family might be crazy Catholics but they are really, really nice people. They'd never be rude or make you feel bad, I promise."
E: "Yeah, I don't believe that but don't take it personally, I don't believe anyone."
He kisses my forehead like a true boyfriend would. It is becoming increasingly evident that this guy loves his games and bullshit but in reality, he was hurt and he's trying to protect himself with all this other nonsense.
We go crawl into bed naked, cuddle up and start talking as we sink into sleep....
A: "I told you how my ex stopped wanting to have sex with me...we actually started scheduling it for Wednesdays...but it was hard because I really like sex and she'd basically lay there and ask, are you done yet? We went to therapy to try and fix it. She couldn't figure out why she didn't desire me anymore because she still loved me...It was really hard. I didn't want to break up, I've never been broken up with. I've also never lived with someone and I thought I'd marry her. I guess I don't like to think of things as completely final, so you never know about the future...we are still friends, I've seen her recently. She isn't dating anyone, so she didn't end it with me for someone else. But I act the way I do, self deprecating and like an idiot to protect myself. I'm scared to get hurt again and open up...You know, I think we just spent too much time together. Our friendships fell to the wayside and we did everything as a couple."
E: "I don't think spending too much time together is an issue, you're in love and you live with someone...you should wanna do everything together."
A: "Yeah, when I am dating someone I just wanna do it all together...."
E: "My relationships the past few years have been weekend ones so I don't really remember what it's like to "do everything" with someone. But I imagine that a good relationship is one where you do."
And with that, we fell asleep.
When we woke up, we were still cuddled up which is surprising because I usually dip out and sleep on my side.
A: "You're the best to cuddle with, you don't move at all. That was some solid snuggling." (forehead kisses) So I don't want to trap you here and since you're really bad at leaving places you don't want to be (all of your bad dates) heres your options... 1. I'm going to make us breakfast and the head into work, we can uber together since my office is 3 mins from your house 2. I'll call you and uber now and you can escape me once and for all"
E: "feed me."
He makes me breakfast, we uber to his office, the guy parks in front, he grabs me, kisses me for a few minutes, wishes me a merry christmas and a great weekend and we're off.
How do you feel about all of this, Elle?
Well, I'm glad you asked. He's a great guy who isn't quite over his ex. I am a great girl who isn't over my XF. I don't think you really get past an ex until you fall in love again with someone new. I think we both see the potential in each other to be that person. I also think we are both a bit scared of that. He misses his ex, I am still talking to mine, getting into a relationship is a big deal at this age because it's not just something light and fluffy anymore...Getting in is easy, getting out is hard.
I don't want a boyfriend I'm constantly conflicting with, someone I'm worried I'll end up boring and then be left by. I don't wanna keep playing these games. Sure, they are fun and I am REALLY good at it but at some point, you just wanna have goodhearted, stable, fun.
So I was REALLY into him after the gala and now, I'd say thats tapered off. I was geeked out when I didn't hear from him, now I don't really care...I'm a catch and he will either realize it and not let me slip away or he will.
Either way, it'll be for the best.
Sorry that was SO longwinded. It's been quite a dramatic couple of days.
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