You either know that I am the person you want to spend your life with or you don't.
If you do, then you'll make the sacrifices in your relationship with your parents. If they truly, unconditionally love you, we will all recover from this pain they've inflicted.
If you don't know now, will you ever?
What would make you decide you know later if you don't now?
Would dating others help solidify your choice in me?
Or would the loneliness of losing me cause you to reevaluate your decisions to live for your parents?
I don't want you if you want me after dating others.
I don't want you if inflicting the pain of cutting each other out is what it's going to take to make you realize what WE have together.
I want you to be sure that in this life, I am your person. Forever.
After fifteen months of talking everyday, worlds revolving around one another, shouldn't THAT be enough to tell you what you need to know?
To inspire you to be fearless as you face this unfortunate and unfair adversity?
The thought of CHOOSING to live without me, should be unbearable, unfathomable and something you simply cannot do.
If you are fearless now, you might just get everything you want from life.
But if you decide later, I won't be waiting.
This isn't my decision to make -
If it were, you know, there would be no infliction of pain -- only an incredible amount of joy. Because I'd never want to live a day without you if I had the choice, regardless of consequence.
We are lucky to be alive, healthy, prospering, and in love.
If that's not enough, then I am not enough.
And I wish you the best in finding whatever that may be but now it is time to say goodbye, and sadly this time I mean it.
*As August 1 is quickly approaching, here is the letter I wrote to the X factor whom you all know I still associate with despite my best judgment. I made a vow to myself that I will not let my 27th birthday arrive with the same feelings of confusion I have had regarding him since month 2. I caved earlier this summer and didn't cut the cord as clean as I had planned...but true love messes with your mind in ways even the strongest person can't predict/adapt to. Stay tuned to see what transpires in the aftermath of August 1. If things don't become solidified that "he chooses me" - then this is my goodbye email. The only way I am successful in business is with planning so I wrote this letter ahead of time so I'd be mentally prepared for actually closing the door. Now I just need to actually mean what I said above (the hardest part) Wish me luck.*