Luckily, these toads are tools so they make it easy on me.
Since August 10th when I dumped XF on his ass...
August 13 - First weekend of singleness was Jaddo, my Lebanese millionaire who I have hooked up with during every break up since 2012. We only kissed & danced. (he's miserable in bed) He however has the best taste in everything so we always have a good time AND he's loaded. $$$
August 15 - Jake returns. I Had a work event that he was my date to the year before and decided to invite him again thus kicking off this love affair.
August 18 - First tinder date back in the game, Cyrus. AMAZING guy who ghosted me after date 4.
August 27 - Groupers in Cali: round 1 - Danial and Moe. My date was Danial - the guy who was sucking my face off after 30 seconds and proceeded to stalk me afterwards aka lunatic.
August 30 - round 2 - Ali/Rami & M - Ali, my original date ditched me mid date because I was texting and utterly bored to tears by him. He was replaced by sexpot Rami who I proceeded to sleep with and still keep in touch with. He wants to come to the east coast next month...not mad at it ;) So that was only a half failed date.
(then lots of Jake time)
September 8 - Ram, Kanye West concert.
September 9- Final date with Cyrus, womp, womp.
September 11- Naj, nice guy who took me to the wine bar - good personality, not attracted to him whatsoever. Keeps bugging for date 2...
September 14 - Meltdown over XF, called him sobbing.
September 20 - Date with Lex, jackass who was only trying to fuck me.
September 21 - First/last date with Shady, FOB ass Egyptian whom I only lasted 20 minutes with before fleeing. THEN Last date with Lex where I refused to fuck him.
September 22 - Workout with Jake & friends then Pdiddy concert with Ram.
September 23 - Double date with Mia and the toads we ran from, slept with Jake after.
September 24 - Coffee date with PJ the Persian toad who only had 30 minutes to spare...fucking loser.
September 25 - Third date with Ram, played pool, had dinner, & worst first kiss evaaaaa. Later, Arash arrived home from a 10 day vaca.
This week? DATE FREE!
I am fucking exhausted. I told all the toads I am traveling for work and can't see them except for Jake. I am tired of the juggling. Clearly putting myself out there has gotten me literally nowhere because the guy I like the most is the only guy I didn't meet on tinder. (Jake)
Gimme an A for effort?
Fuck. It's crazy how much dating I've done with zero return on investment. Granted, I did sleep with 3 guys in 1 month which is a world record for me. Sorry not sorry, it was much needed after two years of terrible sex with XF. Also, all 3 were bomb in bed so that really was the bright side to all this dating/waste of makeup.
Things are heating up with Jake (he actually just left), I can't help it even if I tried...I know I should hit the brakes but I don't want to...
PS Jake said he'd write a blog post for me about me..."the male perspective on falling in love with Elle..."
However - if he does that, he will be able to find the blog via search engine SO I am going to have to re-word the fuck out of it. Should be interesting if he follows through or not...
PS the day I return from our girls trip to Miami marks 2 official months XFactor free...this is the longest I have ever gone without seeing him. Let's see what kinda trouble I can get into before then ;)
LASTLY - Podcast launches after Miami...I have quite the agenda for it, promise you're gonna loveeeeeeee it!