Whew, what a wild couple of weeks its been...So many failed dates in just over a month of singleness...How do I do it?
Luckily, these toads are tools so they make it easy on me.
Let's recap...
Since August 10th when I dumped XF on his ass...
August 13 - First weekend of singleness was Jaddo, my Lebanese millionaire who I have hooked up with during every break up since 2012. We only kissed & danced. (he's miserable in bed) He however has the best taste in everything so we always have a good time AND he's loaded. $$$
August 15 - Jake returns. I Had a work event that he was my date to the year before and decided to invite him again thus kicking off this love affair.
August 18 - First tinder date back in the game, Cyrus. AMAZING guy who ghosted me after date 4.
August 27 - Groupers in Cali: round 1 - Danial and Moe. My date was Danial - the guy who was sucking my face off after 30 seconds and proceeded to stalk me afterwards aka lunatic.
August 30 - round 2 - Ali/Rami & M - Ali, my original date ditched me mid date because I was texting and utterly bored to tears by him. He was replaced by sexpot Rami who I proceeded to sleep with and still keep in touch with. He wants to come to the east coast next month...not mad at it ;) So that was only a half failed date.
(then lots of Jake time)
September 8 - Ram, Kanye West concert.
September 9- Final date with Cyrus, womp, womp.
September 11- Naj, nice guy who took me to the wine bar - good personality, not attracted to him whatsoever. Keeps bugging for date 2...
September 14 - Meltdown over XF, called him sobbing.
September 20 - Date with Lex, jackass who was only trying to fuck me.
September 21 - First/last date with Shady, FOB ass Egyptian whom I only lasted 20 minutes with before fleeing. THEN Last date with Lex where I refused to fuck him.
September 22 - Workout with Jake & friends then Pdiddy concert with Ram.
September 23 - Double date with Mia and the toads we ran from, slept with Jake after.
September 24 - Coffee date with PJ the Persian toad who only had 30 minutes to spare...fucking loser.
September 25 - Third date with Ram, played pool, had dinner, & worst first kiss evaaaaa. Later, Arash arrived home from a 10 day vaca.
This week? DATE FREE!
I am fucking exhausted. I told all the toads I am traveling for work and can't see them except for Jake. I am tired of the juggling. Clearly putting myself out there has gotten me literally nowhere because the guy I like the most is the only guy I didn't meet on tinder. (Jake)
Gimme an A for effort?
Fuck. It's crazy how much dating I've done with zero return on investment. Granted, I did sleep with 3 guys in 1 month which is a world record for me. Sorry not sorry, it was much needed after two years of terrible sex with XF. Also, all 3 were bomb in bed so that really was the bright side to all this dating/waste of makeup.
Things are heating up with Jake (he actually just left), I can't help it even if I tried...I know I should hit the brakes but I don't want to...
PS Jake said he'd write a blog post for me about me..."the male perspective on falling in love with Elle..."
However - if he does that, he will be able to find the blog via search engine SO I am going to have to re-word the fuck out of it. Should be interesting if he follows through or not...
xoxo
Elle
PS the day I return from our girls trip to Miami marks 2 official months XFactor free...this is the longest I have ever gone without seeing him. Let's see what kinda trouble I can get into before then ;)
LASTLY - Podcast launches after Miami...I have quite the agenda for it, promise you're gonna loveeeeeeee it!
Luckily, these toads are tools so they make it easy on me.
Let's recap...
Since August 10th when I dumped XF on his ass...
August 13 - First weekend of singleness was Jaddo, my Lebanese millionaire who I have hooked up with during every break up since 2012. We only kissed & danced. (he's miserable in bed) He however has the best taste in everything so we always have a good time AND he's loaded. $$$
August 15 - Jake returns. I Had a work event that he was my date to the year before and decided to invite him again thus kicking off this love affair.
August 18 - First tinder date back in the game, Cyrus. AMAZING guy who ghosted me after date 4.
August 27 - Groupers in Cali: round 1 - Danial and Moe. My date was Danial - the guy who was sucking my face off after 30 seconds and proceeded to stalk me afterwards aka lunatic.
August 30 - round 2 - Ali/Rami & M - Ali, my original date ditched me mid date because I was texting and utterly bored to tears by him. He was replaced by sexpot Rami who I proceeded to sleep with and still keep in touch with. He wants to come to the east coast next month...not mad at it ;) So that was only a half failed date.
(then lots of Jake time)
September 8 - Ram, Kanye West concert.
September 9- Final date with Cyrus, womp, womp.
September 11- Naj, nice guy who took me to the wine bar - good personality, not attracted to him whatsoever. Keeps bugging for date 2...
September 14 - Meltdown over XF, called him sobbing.
September 20 - Date with Lex, jackass who was only trying to fuck me.
September 21 - First/last date with Shady, FOB ass Egyptian whom I only lasted 20 minutes with before fleeing. THEN Last date with Lex where I refused to fuck him.
September 22 - Workout with Jake & friends then Pdiddy concert with Ram.
September 23 - Double date with Mia and the toads we ran from, slept with Jake after.
September 24 - Coffee date with PJ the Persian toad who only had 30 minutes to spare...fucking loser.
September 25 - Third date with Ram, played pool, had dinner, & worst first kiss evaaaaa. Later, Arash arrived home from a 10 day vaca.
This week? DATE FREE!
I am fucking exhausted. I told all the toads I am traveling for work and can't see them except for Jake. I am tired of the juggling. Clearly putting myself out there has gotten me literally nowhere because the guy I like the most is the only guy I didn't meet on tinder. (Jake)
Gimme an A for effort?
Fuck. It's crazy how much dating I've done with zero return on investment. Granted, I did sleep with 3 guys in 1 month which is a world record for me. Sorry not sorry, it was much needed after two years of terrible sex with XF. Also, all 3 were bomb in bed so that really was the bright side to all this dating/waste of makeup.
Things are heating up with Jake (he actually just left), I can't help it even if I tried...I know I should hit the brakes but I don't want to...
PS Jake said he'd write a blog post for me about me..."the male perspective on falling in love with Elle..."
However - if he does that, he will be able to find the blog via search engine SO I am going to have to re-word the fuck out of it. Should be interesting if he follows through or not...
xoxo
Elle
PS the day I return from our girls trip to Miami marks 2 official months XFactor free...this is the longest I have ever gone without seeing him. Let's see what kinda trouble I can get into before then ;)
LASTLY - Podcast launches after Miami...I have quite the agenda for it, promise you're gonna loveeeeeeee it!
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