Liam and Miss Piggy have tied the knot.
"Elle you're such a shallow bitch!"
Telllll me something I don't know.
I can't remember what I named his fiancee so Miss Piggy will have to suffice for today's post.
If I have offended you, you can stop reading now. #IgiveZeroFucks.
Soooooo the screenshots of facebook posts came rollllin in yesterday from my crew of bitchy friends (love you all, thank you for keeping me in the loop since he blocked me) as I lived in my bed ALL damn day due to another wild night out with Antonio. (We can discuss that later, this takes precedence)
I wasn't hungover but I was too tired to accomplish a damn thing and after seeing allllll of these posts/pics, I officially lost all desire to be productive.
When your ex's get married, it's a really fucking weird feeling. When Bobby got married to Jello last July, I felt a deep sadness. Luckily, I had Mia to comiserate with me because her first love got married on the same damn day. Refresh your minds here. My first love with someone else. I always saw my future with him (naive, I know) but he understood me in ways most people don't. Even now, Bobby knows me in a way XF never, ever will. It felt like a funeral.
Yesterday was no different.
Sure, we broke up FIVE years ago. But Liam was pretty important. 1. he was the nicest guy I've ever dated 2. The only person I've ever lived with 3. I started my business while living with him with him being my BIGGEST supporter 4. I've grappled with a lot of regret regarding the way I acted when I was with him.
I had many moments where I was a super vicious bitch. I always felt like I was the race car in life and he was the Prius. We just couldn't keep up with one another despite how hard I tried. Liam was so OK with mediocrity. I was not.
I think that point right there, is really what broke us to the core. Sure, we had other issues where his mother would do his laundry or clean our house or he'd go home to his parents EVERY fucking night after work and I'd be at our house like "where the fuck are you, why do I live here if you aren't gonna be around?"
I had no friends in his city. I had no life there. He was EVERYTHING. That is also a major recipe for disaster I suppose. I am a city woman, he is a suburban kid.
Anyhow, I was spending more and more time in DC meeting people who were achieving MAJOR things. My friend at the time, Jaddo was a self-made millionaire who was killing it in every arena.
Liam was in a dead end job that he hated and relied heavily on his parents financial support.
I kept seeing people doing big things during the day and then at night I'd return to complacent, mediocrity.
I loved him but love has and never will be enough for me.
Well, try breaking the nicest guy in the worlds heart and then try moving on from that.
No one has treated me as well as he has since. A price I had to pay to find a guy who was ready to race with me vs the guy I had to keep pushing up the hill.
So in true mediocre form, he is now married to Miss Piggy. She wore the worlds ugliest dress (that made me feel better) and the wedding looked like crap.
I don't want a fancy, expensive wedding but I promise you when I do the whole wedding bit -- my design concept will be simple and classy, my dress will be a showstopper, and I will be in my best form. Miss Piggy looked about 6 months preggo walking down the aisle, don't get me started on this because I could rant for DAYS. (Also, she is a total bitch so I don't feel so bad saying this. Her political views are "ultraconservative" which can only mean she gives NO fucks for those less fortunate in this world and she MIGHT be a Trump supporter which is just NOT OK.)
My bitchy friends and I were actually thinking she MIGHT be preggo.
Can't wait for those texts, "OMG they are having a baby!"
Then I really am the world's biggest bitch.
So another ex bites the dust and here I am floating along, drinking til 6am and staying in bed for an entire day afterward.
So cheers to Liam and MP, may they live happily ever after in mediocrity.
PS Can the bitchy girl ever win?