We show up and it hits me like a Ray Rice domestic dispute punch. I see Reena about 20lbs heavier dancing away. I didn't think it was her at first due to her ballooning but it was her. Before I could drown myself in more alcohol, we make eye contact. She comes up to me and I’m having flashbacks to Starbucks banshee sobbing. She’s wasted too.
We exchange pleasantries and she asks what I’m up to etc. and she walks away. Simple enough? I think not… The party is winding down and Reena comes up to me and pulls me aside and asks if we could talk. I’m about 5 Makers on the rocks deep, so sure. She proceeds to tell me that she hated me for a really long time but has forgiven me and that mutual friends have vouched I was a good dude.
Uhh thanks mutual friends. We have mutual friends? Who? But thanks.
Anyway, I try not to talk to her too long and G and I roll out in an Uber. As the Uber pulls in front of mine and G’s place, I get a weird Facebook message from Reena asking to catch up. I oblige with the intention to ghost out of this request.
Two weeks later, another message showed up asking to meet up. A dilemma is upon me. Do I become an asshole again and just not reply, or do I meet up and establish good karma? I consult a few friends, including Elle and decide to go on the date.
I suggest a place close to my apartment because I don’t want to travel far for this and of course this is mid week because I can’t waste a valuable weekend night on this. Reena is at the bar early waiting and I get the chills as I walk in. I keep thinking to myself, what my game plan is? What am I trying to get out of this? DRAWING BLANKS.
Our convo consists of giving the abridged version of our life from the past 6 years. She tells me about her dating failures, being cheated on, etc. Tries to get me to reminisce about the “good times.” we had. I’m thoroughly bored at this point because really, I don’t care and I’m kind of regretting my decision…until this moment. Reena proceeds to tell me that she is talking to a guy from my hometown on a dating app. Immediately, I ask her to show a picture of this guy, because there is a good chance I know who the guy is.
ITS MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, GP. I start laughing hysterically. She’s wondering what’s going on and I tell her to screen shot the picture and send it to me. I proceed to tell her its my best friend and she’s somewhat embarrassed.
I end the date right after that. Of course I tell GP about this and he proceeds to delete her off the app.
I think she hates me now.