Here's how I lost him again, all in one summer.
After winning him back we resumed life as the dynamic duo everyone knew and loved. We planned parties, went to dinner, had sex, he slept over all the time, it was great. I really missed him. He was my true love, I couldn't seem to get over him despite how nice my college boyfriend was.
Being the serial dater that I am I still kept in close touch with my college ex. We had decided to take a summer break from the relationship but we still spoke on the phone daily.
Towards the end of the summer he decided he wanted to come see what the East Coast was all about...aka he was coming to visit.
We are under six weeks away from Sophomore year starting...my apartment is literally next door to his...I plan to pick things back up where we left on when we get back on campus...I can't say no to him visiting, this could fuck up the next three years of my life.
What do I do?
Plan a giant party so he can meet all of my friends and understand my world.
Well Elle...you can't throw a giant party when your HS Ex/current boyfriend lives down the street and has all the same friends as you without inviting him.
This is where my inner Blair Waldorf starts to shine.
I take dickhead to dinner, explain that my college ex (the guy I rebounded with after HS ex cheated) has decided to visit and that he doesn't know I am back with dickhead because I didn't want the drama.
Dickhead is livid. "Are you fucking kidding me Elle? You expect me to be at a party, at your house, with all of our friends, and your college boyfriend who is sleeping at your place all weekend? You've officially lost your damn mind, fuck you."
I plead with him that after the weekend ends, I am ending things completely with college ex. I just need dickhead to behave for ONE night and that's it.
What could possibly go wrong?
College ex arrives, our first day together is fantastic and low key.
Day two is party day...
People start to trickle in and before you know, it's a full house. College ex is a sociable fella so he's doing just fine in a sea of people he's never met. I invited a few of our college friends who lived in the area so it wouldn't be such a shell shocker.
As the night continues, drinks are consumed, I realize I've lost college bf...I go searching and then I find him outside.
Outside with dickhead.
Before I know it, they're screaming at each other, punches are being thrown, I jump in between them only to be tossed head first onto the ground, my dad comes running, it's all just CHAOS.
My dad grabs me from the ground, screams at the both of them, kicks dickhead out, and tells college bf to get inside.
Dad: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? I know he's her ex but there is no need to fight!"
College ex: "He told me he was sleeping with Elle and I know that's a lie, she warned me he might try to start shit like that and I just had to punch him. I am sorry sir."
Dad: "It's okay, sounds as if he deserved it."
OH MAAAH GOD.
1. I did warn college ex that dickhead might get a little feisty/accuse me of sleeping with him... (because I was sleeping with him and him spilling the beans was my worst case scenario)
2. I never actually thought they'd get into a fight (hellllloooo new worst case scenario)
3. College ex's face is all fucked up, his mom will ask questions on Sunday
4. Dickhead's eye is black, maybe he shouldn't go starting fights
5. I have totally been caught, fffuuuuccccckkkk
Not only did nearly everyone at the party witness this BUT I am caught red-headed and need to Blair Waldorf myself out of this ASAP.
College ex storms into his room, done with me for the night.
Dickhead isn't answering my calls.
I quit and go to sleep. Might as well deal with this chaos in the morning.
In the morning I admit to my college ex that I don't think I love him and we said it prematurely. He agrees. We decide to spend our final hours going to the movies (thank God, no more talking).
We see the Sex and the City Movie and afterwards he exclaims that he absolutely does love me and life is short, he doesn't want to lie or hide his feelings. The movie helped him discover this...Ugh, send help.
While we were gone...dickhead stopped by my house to meet with my father. He explained that I'd played him all summer and that's what led to this epic throwdown.
To this day, my dad still won't tell me what all was said during that conversation.
And that was the end of my summer with dickhead. (but let's be real, he didn't stay away for long)
& I stayed with my college ex for all of Sophomore year. His throwdown with dickhead became a distant memory as we conquered college together.
What he doesn't know is I missed dickhead everyday, for years.
Some people are just harder to live without.
PS many of my friends still believe my best match was dickhead...we really were a power couple. But now he's married & the doors closed.
PPS dickhead is the guy who I wrote about in the peppermint patty shots of death post. You can read that here.