Last night was my date/non-date/friend date with Antonio. We painted a picture for my wall, failed at painting one for his, watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days & he made me dinner.
It was my first time seeing him since he found the blog and I was kinda nervous. Luckily, all went really well and we had a good time.
We talked candidly of our past situations and it was pretty cool to be able to be so open with someone that I relatively just met.
The notable question of the evening - he asked if I'd be cool being "fuck buddies with the door open in either direction."
I repeated the phrase in my head 4x so I'd be able to properly regurgitate it here.
I said I was cool with that as long as we didn't treat it as just sex. If I'm going the "just for sex route", I've got Jake and I know I won't catch feelings for him again because I already did and have already remedied that.
He responded with, "yeah like dinner, painting and a romcom?" Valid, nothing about last night seemed like it was just for sex.
We are both trying to figure things out with ex's. If our ex's have a place in our futures or if it's a door that just needs to be closed, once and for all. It's nice to know I'm not the only person alone in the confusion AND that he won't be the guy to pressure me into being exclusive before I'm ready.
It's also nice to know that spending time with him won't wind up being a "waste" either way because at the end of the day, we did agree to be friends and he's definitely someone I'd want to keep as a friend.
As for love. It's something you fall into, not something you walk into. You never know who it's gonna be and when.
Overall, a good evening spent on good terms.
What a relief.