He actually did it! Arash dumped his looneytoon chick and is now a free man!
To celebrate, I got a text yesterday afternoon from him, "Elle, I am making you a persian dinner and martinis - come home!!"
He has also decided he wants to date Persian girls now and is done with his asian persuasion.
Stay tuned for some interesting shit. His dating stories NEVER fail to entertain. Especially when he got a new phone, didn't store the number of a potential roommate and a tinder girl...kept texting the potential MALE roommate to meet him for sushi (thinking it was the girl) and BOOM a guy comes up and taps him on the shoulder and says, "hey dude, I'm Seth. Sorry I was running late."
hahahah that was the best. The girl he was supposed to have dinner with never spoke to him again even after he explained his mix-up and he decided not to live with Seth. This is a typical day in the life of Arash.
We went out for drinks recently and he drove. We get out of the car and he goes to lock the car, only to realize he LEFT THE CAR RUNNING.
Endlessly entertaining. Love this kid.
So he made me Persian food and it was delish, we facetimed with his brother and mommy and drank a few too many martinis. Overall, a great night. I go from X factor making my meals for the week to my roommate making me dinner and cocktails -- THIS IS THE LIFE LADIES. FUCK BEING DOMESTIC! LET THE MEN DO IT!
Might as well let them vacuum too. ;)
In other news -- one of our contributing writers/my bestie Mia just got punched with the same bag of shit I was punched with. Her very serious ex bf/first love is now engaged to the bitch he cheated on her with. Luckily the fiancee resembles an ugly dog (which is hard because dogs are usually so cute).
I was alerted by stalker extraordinaire bestie Bianca who immediately screen shotted the announcement. I then sent it direct to Mia and called her incessantly. NO ANSWER, NO ANSWER, NO ANSWER. DAMMIT MIA - THIS IS NOT A TIME TO BE ALONE. I WAS AND IT SUCKED AND I CRIED ALL NIGHT. COME DRINK MARTINIS, WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU.
Finally she calls me back and is like, "I was expecting it, whatever." and I'm like, "WHERE IS THE FURY? I AM MAD FOR YOU!!!!!"
Finally the anger hit about an hour later when she realized that this dumbass wouldn't know his now fiancee if it weren't for her. He studied abroad in Paris the semester after she did and met dogface on that program. Dogface is from North Dakota or some outdoorsy shit place and their paths otherwise would've never crossed. **Her X factor ONLY picked Paris because he loved it so much when he visited Mia during her semester there.
Funny how he could've picked the same semester she went but instead went as soon as she got back.
Anyways, he sucks and is in the past. He only ate chicken fingers and had a weird obsession with hiking. We are not the hiking/backpacking type and our palate is much more refined than McDonald's $1 menu.
She dodged a bullet.
The icing on the cake is -- he always told Mia that he never wanted to get married. "It just wasn't for him."
Well, I can see how that thought might evolve from college to age 27 but its still SUPERBLY annoying.
How in the world are ALL the douchey X's getting engaged and we are LITERALLY NOWHERE CLOSE. (and we are much prettier)
I think guys have a much different mindset about settling. Atleast that's what I am going to tell myself to feel better because I am STILL not over Liam's engagement to Jaime.
PS I am going to dig up the screenshots from when Jaime stole my number out of Liam's phone and texted me psychotic, insecure shit. That was comedy.
I am New York bound this weekend, looking forward to escaping the normalcy of life here. Turns out Arash and a few other friends are coming too so it's like half the normal gang together in NYC. YAY for good food, good drinks, a pretty city and FUN.
Tonight Arash and I were practicing his break up speech. He is FINALLY dumping his lunatic B girlfriend and we did some role playing to help him prepare.
PS having him as a roommate is so far the best ever. I adore him, he is the nicest guy, he's so sweet, just loveeeee him!
SO the breakup is planned for tonight, shes psychotic and alllll of my girlfriends hate her, I can't stand the sound of her voice and HOOOORAY she's out the door.
(pending he doesn't chicken out)
I asked him tonight if he was excited to get back on the tindersphere and his response shocked me. (he kicks ass on tinder because he's that cute and charming so I figured he'd be more than ready)
"Elle, I have decided to embark on a no dating and no sex journey. I want to cleanse myself of this hook up culture and be celibate for awhile.'"
This resonated with me because it's exactly what I've been doing. I guess there is an article in The New Yorker about a girl who embarked on the same journey, began focusing solely on herself and was much happier because of it.
I will admit, I feel much better X-ing the sex right out of my life. No strings to anyone and my mind is clear anddddddd I am LASER focused on myself. Definitely sounding like an only child now.
I will keep you posted on Arash's break-up, I'm sure its going to be comedy because this girl is a looney toon.
And I don't think this kid can live without sex, but I'll keep you posted on that too.
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