I finish up my soulcycle class and see a missed call from XF.
I ring him back to see what's up.
He's sitting at the airport in SF, ending a trip back to see his family.
XF: "Elle, you know how you say my parents are looking for some perfect unicorn? Well, they've officially lost their minds even more"
He exclaims while laughing.
Let me brace myself...these lunatic fucking parents got crazier...color me shocked.
Elle: "Yeah, explain...."
XF: "Now they want us to marry an Armenian girl with an Ivy League degree, a "professional job", and a wealthy/highly educated family."
Elle: "By professional job you mean another doctor I'm guessing..."
XF: "Yeah, something like that."
Elle: "God forbid they just want you to choose someone who makes you happy, that'd just be too sane for them. Anyways, I have a busy day, I need to go. Thinking about this nonsense is no way to start my day, bye."
Of course now - it's all I can think about it.
So I write him an email.
I know these are my personal insecurities talking but being hated for not being Armenian was one thing.
Being hated for lack of Ivy League education (mind you I got into colleges you were denied to so clearly I'm no moron) and lack of masters degree or "professional" job is a totally different feeling.
I can't change my ethnicity (nor would I ever want to be Armenian/anything else) but I can change my education and job.
However, I'm never going to have a Yale undergrad degree and I'm pretty happy with the business I've built with my own two hands with zero help or support from anyone else. I never wanted to be a doctor, I don't like blood or needles or hospitals or doctors, really.
My dad has a masters from Cambridge, my mom doesn't. She got married young and never expected she'd need it after she married my dad & had me. She was raised in a very poor family and definitely persevered to the best of her abilities.
It sucks to feel like "my package" isn't good enough in literally every way possible.
All of this, makes me hate them so much more. That door I said I'd keep open, keeps inching closer and closer to nailed shut. If they come around, the door might be just open for you and them...as much as they want nothing to do with me, I want nothing to do with them and it is my greatest wish that my future children will NEVER be submitted to these people who possess this disgusting mindset and are spreading hate vs love.
I know my self worth is not based on where I went to school, who I know, how much money I have, etc.
But these things they say are so hateful...it's hard to not take it personally. It's hard to hear you keep telling me, "they're good people."
How is this something a "good" person says? How is the behavior indicative of "good"? How do you keep making excuses for this shit? I never want to hear how "good" they are ever again.
NONE of this is good or okay. It's not even funny to me, in the slightest.
Wanted to share my thoughts.
And no, this does not mean I am going to take you back or marry you - it's just what is on my mind.