was spent in Baltimore.
I had a ton of stuff to get done with my mom during the day and evening was XF's award ceremony for work.
This marked my third year attending this boring ass event.
So each year, everyone hounds me, "when are you guys getting engaged!?"
This year my responses covered quite a spectrum.
"Ask him, clearly I don't know."
"Maybe marriage just isn't for XF."
"Elle, where have you been!? We haven't seen you in forever."
"Ohhhh that's because I dumped him last August and am attending this now as his friend."
"You broke up!? OMG we kept asking how you were and he just kept saying fine."
"Yep, he never likes to admit when things go wrong but yes, we broke up. Can only wait so long for the the next step of your life."
That then lead to EVERYONE being like, "XF, omg stop fucking around, put a ring on it!"
to which he replied, "I will."
Mind you, ALL of his colleagues are married. In the span of these three years, two have had two babies. One was single when I first met XF, then she got engaged within six months and was married by eight. So yeah, we are the last singletons standing. People are quite confused as to wtf is going on. #fucktheArmenians
It gets kinda embarrassing to have to have this conversation for the third fucking year.
Everyone wonders, "what the fuck is he waiting for?"
The Armenians to become decent humans? We all know that isn't in the cards soooo what else are you waiting for Bruce? I have ZERO clues myself besides the fact that I now hold the power and when I say jump, he apparently will?
IDK, IDK, IDK.
So long story short, this years event was actually quite fun.
Apparently everyone kept coming up to XF and telling him that I look like a model, how did he find such a smart and pretty girlfriend? That I am WAY out of his league (DUHHHHH) and he better lock it down before someone else does. (Stroke my ego a little more, please.)
The last comment makes me LOL. I can promise, no one else is trying to lock me down in an official capacity - only in a sexual one.
I got a snapchat from Nima the other day...handcuffs.
I replied with the fire emoji.
He replied with, "we should try these out soon"
I replied with, "hahahaha" (We are friends, where did locking me up in handcuffs come from!?)
"I'm serious, let's talk..."
OHHHH boy. I guess I didn't tinderfriend zone him hard enough? Worst part - I was kind of tempted. Last interaction I had with handcuffs was with Antonio who pulled the exact same move (snapchat and all) and it was fantastic.
Nima is super sexy butttttttt he's my friend. Oh and there's XF but we aren't officially together so technically, I could get away with it on the low.
That is, til Saturday night hits and lots of alcohol is consumed.
I made it a point to rally people together to celebrate Antonio's birthday. I want everyone to feel special on their big day and because he claims to "hate birthdays" I wanted to try even harder.
Well, it was a lot of fun. The night ended with drunk food around 5am.
In between that were a lot of texts with Nima trying to find my location. Luckily I was drunk enough to keep my phone in my purse and I never got back to him on that.
Oh and Antonio admitted that seeing me as a friend has been taxing in the sexual tension arena.
That was relieving. I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about fucking in the bathroom of wholefoods on these lunch dates.
Bad Elle, bad. Stay focused on your boring sex with XF.
Is monogamy for me? I'm beginning to think no...
Lastly, Mia's boyfriend met XF last weekend and is now meeting Antonio this one. He goes, "I hate to be blunt but I think you and Elle are a very good match, I don't see it with XF...I'm sorry Elle." Antonios reply, "baggage + timing is why we never could make it work."
Truer words have never been spoken.
Didn't leave my bed at all except for Chipotle. I was so damn tired from Saturday night and depressed about Liam that I just couldn't muster up the effort to do all the shit I needed to. SOOOO I DIDNT.
How am I feeling about all of the events lately?
Liams wedding = ew fucking ew, glad it wasn't me, glad shes not even a fraction as hot as me, glad she has the worst taste in clothes EVER, glad my instagram isn't private so they both can lurk me and hate on me too. I like to keep the playing field even. #gratuitous
Antonio = a mindfuck, as always. I don't see that changing anytime soon, even if XF does poptheQ. Antonio will always be my, "what if?" Every girl needs one, right?
XF = if he proposes, I won't say no. If he doesn't, I won't be mad. Indifference at this point is a weird feeling but I'm OK with it. This proposal would've been one of the best days of my life had it happened last June. It didn't and now here we are, indifferent. (Yes, that makes me sad too) I'm trying to think like an adult and remember that after three years, the excitement and butterfly feeling is gone with anyone. Antonio gets my blood moving but thats because I can't have him, he's bomb in bed, and we've only known each other since November.
Joey = very intrigued as to what that reunion will be like....hopefully I won't be drooling the entire time.
Nima = fuck, I can't sleep with you. You are so hot but you are a recipe for disaster. If it's really good, I will not wanna stop. Temptation on my shoulder, BE GONE.
Work = a supremely busy week ahead. I am overwhelmed just thinking about it. One day at a time...
Travel = no plans in my near future. Hopefully my DC life will stay spicy so I can entertain adequately.
There you have it.
3 posts in one day = me making up for lost time. Sorry friends!