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Want to know more about me?
I promise to answer.
As you all know I've been doing a lot of dating.
A lot of useless dating.
Arash - 2 hookups (no sex), not worth it. Open and closed that door at pretty much the exact same speed.
Antonio - On and off, on and off, off and over it. The cat and mouse thing has been fun (I had a great time last Friday) but I am over it. This is stupid and I only feel stupid for letting it happen.
Rami - Oh hello sex pot. A stupid one who thinks I was falling in love with him but daaaaamn amazing sex, body, face, style, meoooow. But he's kind of an idiot who doesn't have his shit together and likely wont for another two years. Still in party boy mode which I am not about, at all.
Chase - Great in bed, boring ass personality. There will not be a date 3 or a hook up #3 because unfortunately, sex does involve some talking and even writing about him bores me.
Velcro - Motherfucking Velcro. I can't with this guy. You all know the story with him. If you don't, scroll down to this post and this post. I will say, I am glad I met him because he gave me such blogworthy stories. No, I haven't heard from him since I called him out on fucking Megan.
Jake - Still texts me daily but I haven't seen him since NYE...but he saw me that night with Antonio...oops...Safe to say things with him are going nowhere.
XF - We went to an NBA game last night and it was actually a lot of fun. Tomorrow night he's my date for this gala we went to last year. I told him he better put his party pants on because I am not dealing with the sourpuss situation again. I refuseeeeee. There is more to the story with him (alot more actually) but I am saving that for it's own post SO stay tuned.
At the game last night I decided I'd post a photo on my snapchat with XF. All the toads above + many others follow me on snap so I knew by posting this I would be nailing a few coffins as well as confusing the fuck out of others.
Seconds after posting I get a snap text from Rami. "OMG This guy again!?!?!"
"If he needs lessons in bed, let me know, I can teach him! hahahaha"
"No sex, just basketball."
and then more useless snaptexts.
Someone's jealous....and someone is also a jerk.
So yes, I knew damn well what I was doing by posting the photo with XF but a large part of me still believes that he is the guy I will marry. I know it sounds ridiculous but I've dated A LOTTTTTT and I've never been able to truly envision a future with someone like I can with XF. He is a giant pain in the ass but so am I and yeah, I think if we can learn to let go of the past, focus on the future, and be patient with each other - we can make it work.
There's nothing perfect out there - so I need to stop searching for unattainable and focus on improving what I do have.
Last night I was celebrating my moms birthday and she asked me if I'd received the invitation to my ex step sisters wedding.
Considering I refused to help plan her bachelorette party (which is this weekend), I most definitely didn't get that invitation.
Not that I care, I wasn't planning to attend either way and we aren't close. At all.
I'm no longer going to weddings unless I am actually very close with the person at this point in my life.
No more of this, I haven't seen you in ten years but hey fly to North Dakota for my wedding! (Exaggeration but you get the picture)
When I get married, I am going to do it all very, very differently.
I'm kind of excited because so many people are going to have such an opinion on it. "OMG can you believe she didn't invite xyz? OMG an email invitation?! OMG, OMG, OMG."
Weddings these days have become a fucking circus. People expect you to attend an engagement party, bridal shower, bach party, rehearsal dinner, fly to their wedding AND give a gift over $100. Since when is getting married supposed to be about financially burdening EVERYONE who cares about you? I'm not down with it, not at all.
I'd rather take the money I'd spend on the "wedding of the year" and put it towards my sick oceanfront home in Newport Beach. While you're busying paying off your insane wedding, I'll be tanning and drinking champagne on my deck.
So your friends have to pay thousands of dollars because you decided to get married?
Seems a bit insane to me...
I'm cutting the fluff.
I don't need an engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, or paper invitation.
1. Engagement party AND bridal shower? By time I actually say I do, I am going to be exhausted from all these damn parties centered around me FINALLY picking a groom. Pass.
2. Rehearsal dinner? Meh. Let's just have a cocktail hour the night before and throw an even better wedding reception.
3. Paper invitations. These piss me off to NO END. I'm sorry you spent HOW much on fucking paper? Paper that everyone except you will throw away after attending your event? The world revolves around email and guess what? Email is free. I'd much rather be a tacky bitch and send a paperless post invite, track who is coming in real time, save a few trees, few dollars, and whole lot of time. Sorry not sorry.
4. Bachelorette party. I am ONLY doing one of these if I can make sure it won't cost my friends a fortune to attend. No way am I letting friends pay for me for an entire weekend just because I am going to get married in a few months. Wherever this logic came from is mind boggling to me.
5. Bridesmaid dresses. Oh me, oh my. This is a source of contention for EVERYONE. Your friends come in different shapes and sizes -- let them pick their own goddamn dress you asshole. If you must match, pick a color and tell people to run with it. I plan to have my friends wear either a specific color or a selection of colors and say I'd prefer it be satin, etc. No you don't need matching shoes. I love my friends for their individuality, no need to mask that on my special day.
6. I love a good party so I've decided I want to tie the knot on New Year's Eve. Everyone always wants a fun NYE plan so why not combine it all? Plus photos with fireworks sound pretty awesome to me! (Also a big fan of things that glow/glitter)
7. A plated meal. Ugh, wedding food is the worsttttttt. I'm either doing Mediterranean buffet or a ton of fun appetizers/a sushi bar. Let's be real, you're in it for the open bar anyways.
8. Photos. I do want a cool set of engagement photos + wedding photos but that's because its a memory you have forever/you probably won't be prettier than you are in those pics. (Vain, I know) Don't really think I need a wedding video. I can always hire Arash and his goPro to run around and DIY it for me ;)
9. Invitees. Oh so we haven't spoke in years and you're salty I didn't invite you? GTF over it. Oh we are related and you're an asshole? Also, not my problem. Oh you invited me to your wedding and now expect me to do the same? Also not a guarantee for my guestlist. I know I will piss a lot of people off but I have a gigantic family and I'm not in the business of people pleasing. It's MY wedding, be happy you don't have to buy a plane ticket to California? I'm actually doing you a favor ;)
10. I am pretty solid on my bridesmaid list and I can't really see that changing. Since they all read the blog, here it is.
MOH - Bestie 1
Bridesmaids: Bestie2, Mia, Tash, Zoe, DT, B
There you have it.
The framework of my fictional non-wedding "wedding".
Let's be honest, I'm gonna cave and marry XF, it's just a matter of time/a matter of therapy. Who the hell else is going to put up with me for a lifetime?
- Writers -