I know you are confused as to where I went, where I live now, what the heck happened in 2018, etc.
We can cover all of those items another day...let's just start small and discuss this weekend.
Meet Andy. He's 30, 6'5, blonde, super white. We matched at the beginning of May on hinge and due to my travel schedule, never were able to make meeting up happen. Fortunately, he wasn't in any rush and was willing to wait for things to slow down and we finally met Friday night.
We went to a brewery near my house to have drinks and I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. He was easy to talk to, really nice, obv very tall, etc.
Date goes well and he invites me out to the aquarium for Saturday night aka the next evening.
A guy who plans date 2 on date 1? I'll take it! So two dates in one weekend (breaking my own rules again)...
Rules exist for a reason. I should stop breaking them.
Date 2... total fucking snooze. At one point I became his life coach, encouraging him to go after his dreams and make things happen! Dude has no inner confidence in himself and no sense of urgency...not my match.
Finally I tell him I'm exhausted and I'd like to go to bed. He drives me home, I crawl into bed, start texting with basebally (more on him in a minute) when I get a text from Tulsa.
Tulsa: 27, lives in my old apt bldg, 6'5, southern bearded babe. We've hooked up a few times and it's always a good time minus the fact that he's a super light sleeper and I never get good rest when he's around. So Tulsa texts me and I decide hey, what the fuck - he might as well come over.
To my surprise, a drunk ass Tulsa arrives at my door with his shirt completely unbuttoned. This dude is barreling into my door, drunkenly flitting around, he pushes me up against a wall, takes off my shirt and hereeeeee we go.
We proceed to bounce around my apartment and finally he hits a drunk wall. That's when things get weird...I think he's gonna leave but then he goes and lays on the couch...Then he picks me up and starts dancing with me...(naked mind you) then he asks me to turn on the lights so he can see my naked body lol - I am telling ya, as a sober person - this was beyond perplexing and hilarious.
Anyhoo - we finally get to bed for like...an hour before he starts waking me up in the middle of the night to hook up. I am not a wake up and make up person, let me fucking sleep bro -- I NEED MY 8 HOURS!
Finally at 5am I cave. We hook up again, lay around for two hours and I take him back to his place.
Basebally. He is 37, works for a MLB team, is maybe 5'10, blonde, from Chicago, super smart and sarcastic, really easy to talk to. We went on one date last fall before he was headed back to Chicago for two months and the date was fine...but nothing incredible and because he was leaving and I had a lot on my plate at the time, I brushed him off.
Then in February he texted me after he saw photos of me in Vail saying that Vail looked good on me and we chatted a little bit. Then in March I reached out and asked for a work favor...then in May he popped back up again when I was on vaca out of the country and since we have been talking daily.
I am starting to catch feelings because he's charming, he's so funny, he's a super liberal, and he's consistent. He's out of town for work at the moment but offered to fly me out to see him next weekend which is cute...as he is offering this, Tulsa is barreling through my door so I had to say it was bedtime and call it quits on the texting. and no, I am not going to fly to wherever he is next weekend because I am traveling so much lately and I need to slow the fuck down. My body and bank account need a break.
Thennnnn there's the big news I've been saving best for last....
Well, I left DC in a hurry and he was devastated. I was worried we'd never recover what we once were but finally, I feel like we turned the corner towards normalcy.
And I hate to admit it but what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder...well, in this case it did.
I was recently back in DC and I stayed with him for a few days and it made me realize that maybe what I wanted was right in front of me all along, I was just too self absorbed to see it.
Yep, I caught the feels for Arash and it took moving away to really understand the magnitude of it all.
So like any sane person, I write him a letter and hide it in a big picture book in his apartment. I decide that telling him how I feel in person is a recipe for awkward since he has a gf currently and a letter gives him time to process. SO I hide the letter in the book and then decide I'll text him before I turn off my phone for my flight home (five hours) saying theres a goodbye note in xyz book.
and if I chicken out, it's a book he will never open so it's really NBD.
I don't chicken out. My heart feels like it might explode but I send the text, shut my phone off, nap til I get land, and turn my phone on anxiously to see if he's replied to my love letter.
A week later...nope.
Mia had a party the other night and Arash was there and she's convinced he hasn't read the letter at all.
Problem is...I can't ask or remind him, that's weird. SOOOO wtf do I do??
I kinda think there isn't anything I can do??
Sigh - need feedback.
Anyhoo - I am headed to hangout with Tulsa and friends this afternoon, I'll keep you posted on the raining men situation as it unfolds... I'll also come back and drop some tidbits on wtf happened in 2018 and why I ran away from my beloved blog.
ta ta for nowwwwww.