1. Jake facetimes me....this has to be a butt dial because hippies don't seem like the facetiming type....?
I doubt he meant to do that.
2. Remember when I said Arash said something interesting the day I broke up with XF? Aka 1 week ago today...
Well, here's that "thing".
We were in the kitchen making dinner and I said, "I think you might miss XF more than I will, you two were backgammon drinking buds."
Arash: "Haha, no I won't miss him. It'll finally give me time to move in."
Me: "Huh? Move in on what?"
Does this mean you've been waiting for my relationship to crumble so you could swoop in? Naaaah, there's no way...
Or is there?
So let's jump back to Jake...
Arash HEAVILY encourages me to be honest with Jake...tell him this isn't serious, likely never will be and keep his expectations on par for the course.
I say it's way too soon for that convo, we have only hung out once.
Arash then tells me how he doesn't feel a click with the girl he's sleeping with. He needs someone who can keep him on his toes...
Hmmm...XF always told me, I was the only girl who could ever keep him guessing....
So fast forward to the evening.
Arash and I finish dinner are watching a movie when my cousin texts me to tell me he poppedtheQ.
While I am happy for him, I am also sad. That was supposed to be me...and now, I couldn't possibly be any further away from that than I am now.
My cousin says, "make sure you have your dancing shoes ready!"
I lean over to Arash and tell him, "if I am alone when this wedding occurs, you have to come. I can't do it alone, please."
He's like, sure whatever, nbd.
Then Jake facetimes...I text him saying I'm busy and will call later (incase it was an accident, I am giving him an out)
We finish the movie and I retreat to my room to return this call that I am expecting to be super awkward...the only guy I ever facetime with is XF...I live down the street from Jake, seems weird to FT when you're so close but OK, here goes nothing....
Convo goes well, nothing weird or awkward...we say goodnight and its done. Whew...
he texts me a photo of myself in my glasses that he screenshotted... The rest you can see for yourself...
So fast forward to this morning... Arash is working from home, I am getting ready to leave and he goes, "we should definitely go to California."
Me: "Yes, yes yes we should!! That'd be so fun!!"
Arash: "I also really think you'll like Kansas (his hometown), so you need to come back and visit with me too."
Me: "Yeah, you keep telling the group you're gonna plan a trip, we need to do it!!"
Then I tell him about my facetime and text convo w/ Jake... He says, "I mean you guys haven't even dated so it's hard to imagine marriage and kids when you're not dating someone...but he's only 29 and before I turned 30, I didn't really know what I wanted either....but now I know I'd like to get married and have a family, so things do change."
First thoughts - is he telling me this because it makes him even more of a complete package/he knows that is what I want OR is he trying to reassure me that if I DID date Jake, he could change his mind too?
2. has he been waiting all along for XF to get cut so he could move in? Is he encouraging me to hook up with people now so that later, he wouldn't be my rebound?
3. He also spoke in detail about what will I do when XF does finally crawl back and what if right now, XF is getting his shit together to buy a ring? Will I say yes?
4. Is he telling me to put the brakes on Jake because he doesn't want my rebound to turn into something more?
5. Am I overthinking this/am I completely crazy?
6. Arash is fucking hot, employed, we are bestfriends, our kids would be models, we already live very happily together (half the battle right there), his family is AMAZING and he wears a size 13 shoe which can only mean.....big things. ;)
7. This is the longest post ever, sorry I am rambling but clearly in 7 days life can change DRAMATICALLY. Things that weren't on my radar whatsoever are now clogging up my mind.
8. WTF do I do now?
Facts are: Jake is falling in love with me. I want to keep hooking up with him because its REALLY good but love isn't on my radar at the moment. Arash is confusing me for the first time, ever...
& I am not over XF.
Shit never seems to be clear and simple...Sigh. Send help.