You have a pretty decent date who is wearing a custom suit and looks pretty legit but then
you notice he's wearing these shoes and you feel like vomiting instantly?
I shit you not.
Custom made suit and geriatric, velcro shoes.
Before we reallllly dive deep into this shoe dilemma, let me explain the rest of this date. (fun fact, velcro just texted me to say, "you probably already know this, but you're a boss kisser."- aw shiiiiiit, catching feelings already)
I show up at this trendy restaurant, STARVING because I worked out early and didn't eat prior so I'd actually have an appetite for this date. I walk in and he's sitting at a table so I assume he is feeding me.
"Hey so I'm not really hungry, are you good with just drinks?"
Um no motherfucker I am starving but now this is weird so...
"Oh yeah, I'm not hungry either - I'll just order a drink."
I am one of those bitches who gets hangry. I have to eat every few hours because 1. I revamped my metabolism and by doing so, you have to eat/snack every 2-3 hours 2. When I don't eat, I get restless and irritated quiteeeeee quickly, it's not a good look. FEED ELLE.
So we are chatting and velcro admits he's a republican.
Well, fuck. I would've swiped no but you didn't have that in your profile. He admits most girls in DC swipe no on republicans which is why he omits it from his profile.
Antonio's profile read... "a bad hombre looking for a nasty woman" and instantly I knew, he had his head screwed on straight.
But anyways, back to velcro.
So he tricks me into that one but explains he's not a Trump supporter. Ok, ok...
Then we discuss religion.
He's Jewish and wants to raise his kids that way but doesn't care if his wife is.
Ummmm...not gonna raise my kids religiously soooo yeaaaah...
He does want to move to California soon...
okay, I can fuck with that.
He's wearing a custom suit, also fuckable.
Since he knows Arash we had planned for him to come back to my place and surprise him. We both drove so he follows me back and we outline our plan.
"Let's walk in holding hands, I'll yell at Arash to come out because I think I met my soulmate, he'll come out, see you, freak out, you say I think we are gonna get married, this girl is perfect, he can laugh and it'll be great."
We essentially stick to the plan and Arash is shocked. We all hangout for a bit on the couch and that's when I notice the shoes....
Oh these shoes are enough to make you want to jump off a bridge and end it all right now.
A CUSTOM SUIT WITH VELCRO, GERIATRIC SHOES?!
I can't believe what I am seeing...
I do have a weird fetish for guys with great taste in shoes (Gucci/Ferragamo/Tod's loafers are really my kinda scene) but I can deal with a basic Nordstrom loafer...
What I can't deal with is this shit. I can't stop staring and it makes me feel kindaaaaa sick.
The dudes catch up on life and finallyyyyyy he goes to depart. Our date began at 7:30pm and now it's 10:30pm and I haven't eaten since 3pm...Hangry level is at an allllll time high + I feel sick after seeing this horrrrrible shoe.
I go to walk to him to the elevator and he says....
"So this is what I think we should do...you are amazing and I'd love to see you again, I know I dropped the Republican bomb on your head so I understand if you never want to see me again."
I sit there silently and ponder my next move....
Those shoes are pretty horrendous but he was a nice enough guy...
How do I break this tie...I am verrrrrry 50/50 on him.
So I move in closer and kiss him.
Yes, I kissed him first.
It was pretty good so I decided hey, let's give this kid one more shot. If those shoes appear again though...I'm gonna have to call this one quits.
So I pull back and say, "I think we can do a 2nd date...if you were a bad kisser my answer would've been no because who wants to waste their time."
Then he kisses me again. This time it's even better.
"So I know you have a second date Wednesday...free Thursday?"
"Actualllly Thursday I am having an ex-tinderfella dinner at my house so Arash can make some new friends..."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No, these guys were great but just not my type so I friend zoned them and I think Arash will really like them both so I invited them all over for dinner Thursday."
"Damn, you are adorable and absolutely hilarious. I'll let your schedule dictate date #2 then..."
"Perfect, I'll check my calendar and let you know. Ciao, ciao!"
Like I said before, I am very 50/50 on this guy. I wasn't sold on Antonio after our first date either but I'd say he was more a 70/30 situation and obviously by the end, he really grew on me. Chase I am 60/40 on but he's insanely attractive so I'm thinking he's gonna jump the leaderboard.
You never know what will happen and I am working on being more openminded. Maybe velcro will let me throw away all of his shoes?
Here's to hoping?