My ex deleted his facebook approximately 1 month after our first date. We met on Tinder thus facebook is a necessary component (you can’t have one without the other). Yes, I found love on Tinder. It can happen to you too.
Anyways. Catalyst for deleting facebook = me posting a photo of us happily smiling on the fourth of july. Seems harmless, right?
Wrong.
Thats where the red flags began. It had been a perfect month -
we met, became stuck together like peanut butter and jelly, spent every weekend together despite living an hour apart, spent 3-4 hours each night on facetime, & if we weren’t FTiming we were texting.
It all happened so fast. Like most good things do.
FLASHBACK: Before I met him, I was happily enjoying the single Elle life. Dating three tinderfellas at once, I had a date every other night of the week and each of these suitors wanted to become my boyfriend. For once, I was in no rush for that title. I felt the pressure mounting with them as we approached dates 4, 5, 6...but playing the field was empowering and I didn’t have a strong desire to give that up despite knowing “I have to pick one soon.”
Until I met X.
X and I had instant chemistry in our tinder chat. It just flowed. It wasn’t effort and I looked forward to every single message. I learned early on to never get my hopes up but this all felt so fresh and exciting. The timing was great too. I was recovering from surgery which lead to a longer than natural text courtship. By the time we had our first date, we had been talking for over two weeks.
Wasting time is my least favorite activity. Thus, I have strict tinder rules.
1. Tindertexting gets capped at 5-7days. If no date is set, I delete you.
2. Never swipe right on a guy without a shirt
3. Guys who post memes, selfies, or photos with other girls = swipe left
Judge as you may but the methods worked.
I'm not looking for a text buddy - I have enough actual friends.
Anyways…this photo caused a raucous. Every person he knew had commented on it by the time we woke up. Zero people on my friendslist said a word, I don’t even think I got a single like for this one -- it was ALL his side. Everyone seemed so surprised and happy for him. An Aunt messaged asking if she needed to take his mom shopping for our future wedding.
It was JUST a photo. What is wrong with these people?! Wedding? Huh? Lunatics!!!
Five minutes later - the facebook is gone.
Cue insecurities.
Is he trying to hide me? What the hell is wrong with this guy? We are basically obsessed with each other and you’re a self proclaimed FB addict.
Am I not pretty enough?
Fast forward to present day…
We break up, I block him from my life. Deleted from snapchat (our favorite social media venue) and he doesn’t have IG.
Fast forward to last night…
He admits he lurked my instagram which is purposely left open for all to see. He gets upset about all of the photos of us I have posted. Makes me feel bad yet again for sharing my happy moments.
FLASHBACK: to when I changed my profile photo to one of us from Valentine's Day. All of his friends ran to alert him and he lost his shit. Giving me BS excuses like, “These photos could hurt my career in the future, I don’t want a social media repertoire, etc, etc, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.” You had facebook from 04-2014, get out of my face with this nonsense.
Excuses.
REALITY: He doesn’t want his parents to type my name into google and see a photo of him. Then its confirmed that 1. we are together 2. we are happy 3. hes lying to them 4. because I’m not Armenian and they refuse to accept anything else. 5. What the actual F.
Ask me if I care. I refuse to cave and not show the people in my inner circles the chosen snapshots of my life. It’s like I posted a photo of him naked in my bed.
LET'S RELAX ALREADY YOU PSYCHO.
So now the painful process begins of removing him from my social media realms. Not to appease him - but to help me erase these memories that linger?
Dating in the modern age...what a joke.
Anyways. Catalyst for deleting facebook = me posting a photo of us happily smiling on the fourth of july. Seems harmless, right?
Wrong.
Thats where the red flags began. It had been a perfect month -
we met, became stuck together like peanut butter and jelly, spent every weekend together despite living an hour apart, spent 3-4 hours each night on facetime, & if we weren’t FTiming we were texting.
It all happened so fast. Like most good things do.
FLASHBACK: Before I met him, I was happily enjoying the single Elle life. Dating three tinderfellas at once, I had a date every other night of the week and each of these suitors wanted to become my boyfriend. For once, I was in no rush for that title. I felt the pressure mounting with them as we approached dates 4, 5, 6...but playing the field was empowering and I didn’t have a strong desire to give that up despite knowing “I have to pick one soon.”
Until I met X.
X and I had instant chemistry in our tinder chat. It just flowed. It wasn’t effort and I looked forward to every single message. I learned early on to never get my hopes up but this all felt so fresh and exciting. The timing was great too. I was recovering from surgery which lead to a longer than natural text courtship. By the time we had our first date, we had been talking for over two weeks.
Wasting time is my least favorite activity. Thus, I have strict tinder rules.
1. Tindertexting gets capped at 5-7days. If no date is set, I delete you.
2. Never swipe right on a guy without a shirt
3. Guys who post memes, selfies, or photos with other girls = swipe left
Judge as you may but the methods worked.
I'm not looking for a text buddy - I have enough actual friends.
Anyways…this photo caused a raucous. Every person he knew had commented on it by the time we woke up. Zero people on my friendslist said a word, I don’t even think I got a single like for this one -- it was ALL his side. Everyone seemed so surprised and happy for him. An Aunt messaged asking if she needed to take his mom shopping for our future wedding.
It was JUST a photo. What is wrong with these people?! Wedding? Huh? Lunatics!!!
Five minutes later - the facebook is gone.
Cue insecurities.
Is he trying to hide me? What the hell is wrong with this guy? We are basically obsessed with each other and you’re a self proclaimed FB addict.
Am I not pretty enough?
Fast forward to present day…
We break up, I block him from my life. Deleted from snapchat (our favorite social media venue) and he doesn’t have IG.
Fast forward to last night…
He admits he lurked my instagram which is purposely left open for all to see. He gets upset about all of the photos of us I have posted. Makes me feel bad yet again for sharing my happy moments.
FLASHBACK: to when I changed my profile photo to one of us from Valentine's Day. All of his friends ran to alert him and he lost his shit. Giving me BS excuses like, “These photos could hurt my career in the future, I don’t want a social media repertoire, etc, etc, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.” You had facebook from 04-2014, get out of my face with this nonsense.
Excuses.
REALITY: He doesn’t want his parents to type my name into google and see a photo of him. Then its confirmed that 1. we are together 2. we are happy 3. hes lying to them 4. because I’m not Armenian and they refuse to accept anything else. 5. What the actual F.
Ask me if I care. I refuse to cave and not show the people in my inner circles the chosen snapshots of my life. It’s like I posted a photo of him naked in my bed.
LET'S RELAX ALREADY YOU PSYCHO.
So now the painful process begins of removing him from my social media realms. Not to appease him - but to help me erase these memories that linger?
Dating in the modern age...what a joke.
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