How to mend a broken-ish heart:
1. Tequila.
Tequila is basically the glue that holds your life together. It lowers inhibitions, makes you a more jovial human and typically ensures you're the life of the party. Who doesn't love the life of the party?
2. Tinder.
Tinder now has a group date option which is THE BEST IDEA EVER. I always want to drag friends on dates and now we can endure the hilarity together! I legitimately cannot wait for a grouper & yes that means you'll soon get tinder stories becauseeeee BITCHES IM BAAAACK. Oh and Tinder is just the worlds biggest ego boost, so many thirsty guys in one place...like uhh hi, take a number and get in line bro.
3. Snapchat.
There are SO many ways to torture your ex via snapchat that are deeply satisfying. Pro tip: block your ex ASAP after dumping him then snapchat questionable things, like his photos in your garbage can, you at a birthday party with lots of attractive men around, drinks with mystery people, etc. THEN watch the screenshots take place as his friends keep tabs on you for him and text him ASAP what you are upto. It is basically the best form of torture...no direct contact, you seem like you reallllly don't give a fuck because you blocked him & his friends are responsible for rubbing the salt deeper in his wounds - not you!
Entering day 3 of no communication, so far, so good.
ta ta for now!
Elle
PS I can't do Bachelor in Paradise recaps...the show is so fucking stupid I simply can't dedicate time to watching it/thinking about it. Sorry, but I promise you're not missing anything.
1. Tequila.
Tequila is basically the glue that holds your life together. It lowers inhibitions, makes you a more jovial human and typically ensures you're the life of the party. Who doesn't love the life of the party?
2. Tinder.
Tinder now has a group date option which is THE BEST IDEA EVER. I always want to drag friends on dates and now we can endure the hilarity together! I legitimately cannot wait for a grouper & yes that means you'll soon get tinder stories becauseeeee BITCHES IM BAAAACK. Oh and Tinder is just the worlds biggest ego boost, so many thirsty guys in one place...like uhh hi, take a number and get in line bro.
3. Snapchat.
There are SO many ways to torture your ex via snapchat that are deeply satisfying. Pro tip: block your ex ASAP after dumping him then snapchat questionable things, like his photos in your garbage can, you at a birthday party with lots of attractive men around, drinks with mystery people, etc. THEN watch the screenshots take place as his friends keep tabs on you for him and text him ASAP what you are upto. It is basically the best form of torture...no direct contact, you seem like you reallllly don't give a fuck because you blocked him & his friends are responsible for rubbing the salt deeper in his wounds - not you!
Entering day 3 of no communication, so far, so good.
ta ta for now!
Elle
PS I can't do Bachelor in Paradise recaps...the show is so fucking stupid I simply can't dedicate time to watching it/thinking about it. Sorry, but I promise you're not missing anything.
RSS Feed
