What did/didn't make the cut:
-Rightfully returning these ties, a t shirt of his (which I sent him a pic of and said I'd mail), and a new friendship bracelet that is taped on top of the old
-Thanking him for his good advice the other night
-Left out the I wish it would've been us, a part of me does but the other part of me has enjoyed everything I've gotten to experience with everyone I've dated since so it's not as genuine of a statement as I originally thought
-The entire paragraph about knowing what's going on in each others lives, was too wordy and it got cut
-Cut -> Asking for the things I wrote to him back in the day back for the book. I don't really even wanna know what I was like back then - it'd be good for the book but I think it'll make me feel bad for being the person I am now aka jaded as fuck and not romantic
-I did mention when I eventually get married how I'd want him there. This is 50% true. I want a really informal wedding that's just two big parties, one on each coast. Nothing over the top or ceremonial and I would like to be friendly enough to invite him as well as the rest of our high school friends that he and I are both still close to.
I didn't want it to come across as if I live a life of regret. I don't. I am insanely happy with my life right now, I have so much fun and I am healthy + thriving. I've made mistakes, but life didn't put Bobby and I back in each others paths and clearly, there's someone better in store for me. I also didn't want him to think I don't accept his marriage or something. I do. It sucked when Mia and I had to deal with them getting married on the same day but I think a lot of people go through those emotions when a first love moves on. I remember XF would google his X's nuptials all the time. I was using his laptop for work one day and I saw the search history, he'd lurk her fb/wedding website atleast once a month. I think it's kinda just human nature? At first I was upset when I saw it but then I realized that it wasn't a battle worth picking/I'm curious about my ex's too.
January IS flashback month so for everyone who thinks this is just me living in the past, it's not. It's called reflection. It's called I need material and I don't want to go on 10,000 dates this month. Mia and I have a tropical trip coming up in February and alllll the dates = all the drinking, I'd rather save the cocktails for times I know I'll be having fun.
Secondly, this is a blog about my dating life and these flashbacks go back to the beginning of me becoming a "serial dater". Sure, I miss aspects of every person I've dated, I miss alot about Bobby, alot about Nate, and a lot about Liam but as you go through life you look at people and think of things you loved. You hope at the end, when you settle down with someone that said person possess alot of the good traits you've found along the way and hopefully not many of the bad ones you determined you didn't like. I write about the past because it made me who I am AND sometimes the tinder toads just aren't enough.
Dating is a process of elimination. You only end up with one person and if you're me, you've dated about 10 million of them before finally sticking with one so there are ALOT of stories left to be told.
To reitirate, this blog would be boring as fuck if I had a serious boyfriend and ALL I had to write about was him. Eventually, that will occur and other people will take the writing reigns and I'll be left with flashback posts and funny stories. I'm not going to chronicle my entire next relationship on here because I want to give it a chance to suceed and not be overanalyzed to death.
So to everyone who is already sick of flashback month, apologies. If you wanna go date some toads and send in stories, I'd be HAPPY to post them. :)