Sam here. First, thanks Elle for the proper introduction, despite your hatred for the opposite sex right now ;)
I hope my reckless train wreck dating stories from the past and present are mildly entertaining. Recently, I ran into an ex girlfriend that I dated 6 years ago, when I was a 25 year old bachelor in the DC area city. Before I get into the specifics of running into Reena and subsequently going on a “catch up” date with her *facepalm*, let me take you back to last time I ever saw her, which was the day we broke up……6 years ago.
Reena was pretty attractive catch for a guy who just moved to DC and didn't really know how the game worked in a larger city. I strung her along on being a halfway decent guy, taking her on standard 25 year old dates in Georgetown/Dupont and treating her to free (and disgusting) happy hours in the city that I won at college bars. God knows how much jaeger we drank during our courtship. I finally realized that I didn't want to be a 25 year male in DC locked down. I was untapped potential that needed to have more experiences before I lock into one girl. I need to go out and meet more women and Reena was not going to get in the way, despite our decent jaeger charged times together.
She displayed what I describe as bat shit crazy behavior while out drinking too much, which entailed stealing drinks out of strangers hands, bringing up controversial convos with randos at bars and coming back to my place and trashing it. She was 23, so I guess this was par for the course for a DC girl, right? Bottom line, I need more experiences.
Anyway, I decided to breakup with her in a public place, for two reasons. One, if I did this at her place, she would have access to sharp objects immediately. Two, if I did this at my place, getting her to leave might be a problem, since she’s bat shit. Based on these two facts, I naturally, I ask her to meet me at Starbucks in the city on a weekend afternoon. C’mon, tell me a better place?
Reena knew this was coming, so as I patiently waited for her in Starbucks, she walks in with tears streaming down her face. We sit down and talk and I lay it down that “I don’t see a romantic relationship with you.” The tears streaming down her face turn into horrific sobs in public. The drawback to the public breakup are the stammers and glares from everyone and the whispering from others around. Fuck it.
As more people look over at us because of her banshee like sobbing, I finally have enough. I get up and leave. As I walk out of Starbucks and head to the Metro, Reena exudes true bat shit behavior by running out of the coffee shop and grabbing me and pulling herself to me. She looks dead in my eyes and said “DONT WALK OUT OF MY LIFE!!” Her hand is latched on to my jacket and will not let go! There is a part of me that wanted to laugh my ass off because she really just said “DON’T WALK OUT OF MY LIFE”
Like is this going to get Wicker Park crazy. She had a death grip on my new JCrew jacket, and I had to remove each of her fingers individually off of me. After that task was painfully completed, I hailed a cab shoved $40 at the guy and said, please take this girl to her house. Corralled her into the cab and bolted to the metro. I got a few nasty emails from her and proceeded to block her on social media.
Alright, I’m about to hit a night on the town, but I’ll continue this tomorrow.
-Sam
I hope my reckless train wreck dating stories from the past and present are mildly entertaining. Recently, I ran into an ex girlfriend that I dated 6 years ago, when I was a 25 year old bachelor in the DC area city. Before I get into the specifics of running into Reena and subsequently going on a “catch up” date with her *facepalm*, let me take you back to last time I ever saw her, which was the day we broke up……6 years ago.
Reena was pretty attractive catch for a guy who just moved to DC and didn't really know how the game worked in a larger city. I strung her along on being a halfway decent guy, taking her on standard 25 year old dates in Georgetown/Dupont and treating her to free (and disgusting) happy hours in the city that I won at college bars. God knows how much jaeger we drank during our courtship. I finally realized that I didn't want to be a 25 year male in DC locked down. I was untapped potential that needed to have more experiences before I lock into one girl. I need to go out and meet more women and Reena was not going to get in the way, despite our decent jaeger charged times together.
She displayed what I describe as bat shit crazy behavior while out drinking too much, which entailed stealing drinks out of strangers hands, bringing up controversial convos with randos at bars and coming back to my place and trashing it. She was 23, so I guess this was par for the course for a DC girl, right? Bottom line, I need more experiences.
Anyway, I decided to breakup with her in a public place, for two reasons. One, if I did this at her place, she would have access to sharp objects immediately. Two, if I did this at my place, getting her to leave might be a problem, since she’s bat shit. Based on these two facts, I naturally, I ask her to meet me at Starbucks in the city on a weekend afternoon. C’mon, tell me a better place?
Reena knew this was coming, so as I patiently waited for her in Starbucks, she walks in with tears streaming down her face. We sit down and talk and I lay it down that “I don’t see a romantic relationship with you.” The tears streaming down her face turn into horrific sobs in public. The drawback to the public breakup are the stammers and glares from everyone and the whispering from others around. Fuck it.
As more people look over at us because of her banshee like sobbing, I finally have enough. I get up and leave. As I walk out of Starbucks and head to the Metro, Reena exudes true bat shit behavior by running out of the coffee shop and grabbing me and pulling herself to me. She looks dead in my eyes and said “DONT WALK OUT OF MY LIFE!!” Her hand is latched on to my jacket and will not let go! There is a part of me that wanted to laugh my ass off because she really just said “DON’T WALK OUT OF MY LIFE”
Like is this going to get Wicker Park crazy. She had a death grip on my new JCrew jacket, and I had to remove each of her fingers individually off of me. After that task was painfully completed, I hailed a cab shoved $40 at the guy and said, please take this girl to her house. Corralled her into the cab and bolted to the metro. I got a few nasty emails from her and proceeded to block her on social media.
Alright, I’m about to hit a night on the town, but I’ll continue this tomorrow.
-Sam
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