I had a really great date last night. 

Raj is 35, successful, race car driver (on the side), funny, smart and easy to talk to. We just click. 

We went on our first date months ago and due to crazy schedules hadn't been able to connect for date two until last night. 

We went to an Improv show and it was fantastic. 
First off, he paid for everything - I didn't even have a chance to offer. 
Secondly, he's the easiest to talk to and really quite funny. 

He is the PERFECT tinder friend.

When I look at him, I have no desire for him to kiss me and there is NO way I could sleep with him. 

He's not terrible looking I just am not attracted whatsoever. 

This really drives me nuts because this guy is fantastic and would probably be a pretty fun boyfriend to have. 

But we will never find out because I feel zero things towards him. 

He's invited me to dinner Thursday or Friday and I am going to take that as my opp. to transition him fully into the tinder friendzone aka I'm going to try and split the bill and avoid the first kiss that hasn't occurred yet. 

Last night after the comedy show he walked me to my car and while he had ample opportunity to kiss me, all he did was execute a cheek peck. I'd think maybeeee he's getting friend vibes from me too except the steakhouse dinner date doesn't exactly scream friend activity...

Stay tuned on how we turn this one from tinder toad to tinder friend. 

xo,
​Elle

There's been so many, you must wonder what makes this one stand out.

For starters, it wasn't with a guy. 

Yep, that's right - my worst break-up was with a girl. 

Cue jaw drop. 

Yep, I'm bi-sexual. 

JK. Keep reading.

So I haven't told you all this because it's such a crappy story but due to a lack of toads to write about, I decided to delve into the biggest backstabbing I've ever encountered. 

I met Eve in the sixth grade. She was this lame, dorky little Asian girl who had barely any friends. I had just moved to my new school and was involved in every activity under the sun...spelling bee, yearbook, student government, power of the pen (writing competitions), cheerleading, basketball for about 3 practices, volleyball for 1, and ski club (my favorite of them all). 

I got close to Eve during our geeky clubs that she happened to be in with me, cue spelling bee, power of the pen & yearbook. 

I realized she was a little bit misunderstood and craved to be a part of something. As a new member of the popular crowd, I decided to take this little geek under my wings. She also lived down the street from me and we took the same bus to school so getting close was pretty easy. 

No one could understand back then why I decided to bring her into the group...

Kids are mean and after being bullied endlessly in elementary school, I no longer had the tolerance for bullies, bullying or leaving people out of the "popular" crowd. In fact, I was known for pulling the outliers in and trying to "save" people. More on that another time...

SO Eve and I became BFF's. We are both only children, both have FOBBY ass parents, both aren't white, both enjoy the geeky aspects of life and were both really good at school. 

She started to admire me back then...I remember if I'd buy something, the next week - she'd have it too. She copied my taste in music, had crushes on the same guys, you name it - she followed it. One time on a field trip a few friends and I decided to make up a fake band called Three Stones. The entire bus ride we discussed the new Three Stones CD and how great they were. Eve sat there quietly until one friend finally asked what her favorite song was. Eve got nervous and instead of admitting she'd never heard of the band, she replied "oh that really popular one from the radio you guys just mentioned."

Later in the day, we pulled her aside and told her the band didn't exist and that she really needed to find her own likes/dislikes versus copying all of mine. It'd gotten to an unhealthy level of mimicking. 

Fast forward to the adult years. 
I had just graduated college and was deciding where I would move. Eve had moved to Baltimore the year before so when I graduated, we'd be in the same city for once. Single gals taking over the city, we had it all planned out. (She graduated early, like I said smart as F) 

The week I was going to sign my lease on a new apartment in Washington D.C. Eve got fired from her job... She was distraught and had no idea wtf to do next. So I told her to come look at apartments with me and maybe we could just live together and figure things out as we go. 

We signed the lease, moved in the next week and began our happy life together. We did EVERYTHING together. Grocery shopping, workouts, going out, eating meals, etc. There was never a dull moment and we were truly inseparable. 

Until everything changed...

I have deleted my tinder.

So many matches, so many toads, so many toads who never sent messages. 

My well dried right on up. 

So I made the decision to completely delete my account and start fresh with the swiping...but not so fast.

First, I am giving this app Hinge a try. 

Thus far, it's a dud. It markets itself as the "relationship" app...I bet... I am trying to broaden my online dating horizons and I hated bumble so I am praying hinge will pick up some speed. 

I don't have the mental capacity to write an Ok Cupid profile and sell myself to the general public...shouldn't being cute be enough? 

Match.com was terrifying, never will I ever do that shit again.

EHarmony seems a litttttle too aggressive...

Don't get me started on Christian Mingle or Farmers Only...I kid, I kid.

Wouldn't it be so stellar if guys still had the balls to approach girls IN REAL LIFE? 

In other news, I am going on a second date with a guy who is fun to text but was meh on the first date. He didn't completely repulse me so I am finally going on date two...nearly 6 weeks after date one.
That is how desperate I am.

We are going to a comedy club on Sunday. He first suggested dance clubbing Saturday night...hard NO. My clubbing days began and ended in the month of October, we are now in hibernation mode. Club dresses aren't coming out again until 1. vacation 2. Miami is re-planned. Bro, I am 28...I can't be all up in the club in November like some 21 year old. Psh. This clown is 33 I think? TBH I don't even know his name because I never saved it in my phone....

That is about it, life is pretty lame without 1000 tinder dates every week. I'm also pretty salty still that things didn't pan out with Cyrus. He's the ONLY one I have actually liked. 

Typical...

GUEST BLOGGERS - WHERE YOU ATTTTTT?! Gimme some stories, I NEED YOU!

​Elle