He actually did it! Arash dumped his looneytoon chick and is now a free man! 

To celebrate, I got a text yesterday afternoon from him, "Elle, I am making you a persian dinner and martinis - come home!!"

He has also decided he wants to date Persian girls now and is done with his asian persuasion. 

Stay tuned for some interesting shit. His dating stories NEVER fail to entertain. Especially when he got a new phone, didn't store the number of a potential roommate and a tinder girl...kept texting the potential MALE roommate to meet him for sushi (thinking it was the girl) and BOOM a guy comes up and taps him on the shoulder and says, "hey dude, I'm Seth. Sorry I was running late."

hahahah that was the best. The girl he was supposed to have dinner with never spoke to him again even after he explained his mix-up and he decided not to live with Seth. This is a typical day in the life of Arash.

We went out for drinks recently and he drove. We get out of the car and he goes to lock the car, only to realize he LEFT THE CAR RUNNING. 
Endlessly entertaining. Love this kid.

So he made me Persian food and it was delish, we facetimed with his brother and mommy and drank a few too many martinis. Overall, a great night. I go from X factor making my meals for the week to my roommate making me dinner and cocktails -- THIS IS THE LIFE LADIES. FUCK BEING DOMESTIC! LET THE MEN DO IT! 
Might as well let them vacuum too. ;) 

In other news -- one of our contributing writers/my bestie Mia just got punched with the same bag of shit I was punched with. Her very serious ex bf/first love is now engaged to the bitch he cheated on her with. Luckily the fiancee resembles an ugly dog (which is hard because dogs are usually so cute). 
I was alerted by stalker extraordinaire bestie Bianca who immediately screen shotted the announcement. I then sent it direct to Mia and called her incessantly. NO ANSWER, NO ANSWER, NO ANSWER. DAMMIT MIA - THIS IS NOT A TIME TO BE ALONE. I WAS AND IT SUCKED AND I CRIED ALL NIGHT. COME DRINK MARTINIS, WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU. 

Finally she calls me back and is like, "I was expecting it, whatever." and I'm like, "WHERE IS THE FURY? I AM MAD FOR YOU!!!!!" 

Finally the anger hit about an hour later when she realized that this dumbass wouldn't know his now fiancee if it weren't for her. He studied abroad in Paris the semester after she did and met dogface on that program. Dogface is from North Dakota or some outdoorsy shit place and their paths otherwise would've never crossed. **Her X factor ONLY picked Paris because he loved it so much when he visited Mia during her semester there. 
Funny how he could've picked the same semester she went but instead went as soon as she got back. 
Anyways, he sucks and is in the past. He only ate chicken fingers and had a weird obsession with hiking. We are not the hiking/backpacking type and our palate is much more refined than McDonald's $1 menu. 
She dodged a bullet. 
The icing on the cake is -- he always told Mia that he never wanted to get married. "It just wasn't for him."
Well, I can see how that thought might evolve from college to age 27 but its still SUPERBLY annoying. 

How in the world are ALL the douchey X's getting engaged and we are LITERALLY NOWHERE CLOSE. (and we are much prettier)

I think guys have a much different mindset about settling. Atleast that's what I am going to tell myself to feel better because I am STILL not over Liam's engagement to Jaime. 

PS I am going to dig up the screenshots from when Jaime stole my number out of Liam's phone and texted me psychotic, insecure shit. That was comedy. 

Stay tuned.

I am New York bound this weekend, looking forward to escaping the normalcy of life here. Turns out Arash and a few other friends are coming too so it's like half the normal gang together in NYC. YAY for good food, good drinks, a pretty city and FUN.

xo
​Elle

Tonight Arash and I were practicing his break up speech. He is FINALLY dumping his lunatic B girlfriend and we did some role playing to help him prepare. 

PS having him as a roommate is so far the best ever. I adore him, he is the nicest guy, he's so sweet, just loveeeee him! 

SO the breakup is planned for tonight, shes psychotic and alllll of my girlfriends hate her, I can't stand the sound of her voice and HOOOORAY she's out the door. 
(pending he doesn't chicken out) 

I asked him tonight if he was excited to get back on the tindersphere and his response shocked me. (he kicks ass on tinder because he's that cute and charming so I figured he'd be more than ready)

"Elle, I have decided to embark on a no dating and no sex journey. I want to cleanse myself of this hook up culture and be celibate for awhile.'"

This resonated with me because it's exactly what I've been doing. I guess there is an article in The New Yorker about a girl who embarked on the same journey, began focusing solely on herself and was much happier because of it. 

I will admit, I feel much better X-ing the sex right out of my life. No strings to anyone and my mind is clear anddddddd I am LASER focused on myself. Definitely sounding like an only child now.
 
I will keep you posted on Arash's break-up, I'm sure its going to be comedy because this girl is a looney toon. 

And I don't think this kid can live without sex, but I'll keep you posted on that too.

tooooodles,

​Elle

Yeah, we are still talking about Liam's engagement.

The series of events that occurred after I found out are simply too fucked up to actually be real life. (but of course, it's real life)

I wake up Thursday, do my usual scroll through instagram and log into facebook. 

You know how facebook sometimes chooses to show you a post from "x years ago today" and then lets you re-share the post to reminisce? 

Well luckily my facebook isn't a douchebag and doesn't alert me of that kind of stuff. Only once has it done that and it was when I made it on the front page of the Washington Post. (aka best moment ever to reminisce)

But Thursday FB decided to be a dick. 

"Elle, 4 years ago today here is a memory!" 
{Photo of Liam & my cat putting together Ikea shit}

REALLY FACEBOOK?

DID YA REALLLLLLY HAVE TO PICK THE WEEK HE'S ENGAGED TO REMIND ME THAT WE USED TO BE REALLY FUCKING HAPPY AT ONE POINT? FOUR YEARS AGO TO BE PRECISE. 

GEE, FACEBOOK. THANKS SO MUCH. I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW WONDERFUL HE WAS BUT LUCKILY YOU DIDN'T! 

motherfucker.

I'd told my bestfriend the night before that I wanted to delete all social media and live a life of quietness. If you wanna know what's up in the life of Elle then you better read the blog, give me a call or send a me text.

You can't get away with typing my name into FB and IG and finding out the latest.

Of course I didn't delete my accounts and THIS IS WHAT I GET INSTEAD.

OH it gets better.

I walk into the Audi dealer to drop my car for it's 10k service appointment and WHO DO I SEE.

No, not Liam.

HIS BEST FUCKING FRIEND
Dan.

I haven't seen Dan since Liam and I broke up. Our paths never cross. But as karma would have it, Dan just started a new job Monday in the Audi service department and BOOM here he is. and I'm not wearing makeup. and Im hungover from the night before due to drowning my misery in Veuve and Pinot Noir. 

I see him and immediately spazz. Holy shit. OMG. 
I start slurring my words, speaking too fast to my service advisor, trying to be nice to Dan and make small talk while keeping my shit together. 
My hands are shaking. I am sweating. Hair twirling. Taking coat off, putting it back on. Tapping fingers. Biting my cheek. 

HOLY LORD, MAKE THIS STOP.

Dan walks me out to my loaner car and proceeds to tell me his life story the past x years. The entire time I am WAITING for him to drop the Liam is engaged bomb. I know he's the type to want to gauge my reaction. 
I am ready for you, I am ready for you, I am ready for you....

40 minutes later, he never mentions Liam or his nuptials. 
RELIEF.

He does however tell me that I am looking mighty skinny and fit. 
(ONLY SILVER LINING TO THIS ENTIRE WEEK IS THIS COMMENT.)

Thank you Dan for noticing the countless hours I spend in the gym like a meat head bro. 

So finally Thursday is coming to an end and I am driving home from work 

when that new Adele song, Hello comes on. 

I hadn't really listened to it before but decided I'd give it a go. The hype was insane for this damn thing. What's so special? 
(cue another terrible idea) 

I will sign off with the lyrics posted. IT COULDN'T BE MORE ACCURATE OF MY LIFE / PAST WITH LIAM. I will highlight the parts that make me want to cry/die. 
---------
"I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing

Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

There's such a difference between us
And a million miles

Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart
Anymore

Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?

It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time"

-----------
​Elle

I've tried to deny to myself that I wouldn't be sad when this day eventually came. It's been three years so there is really no reason why I should have ANY feelings whatsoever regarding this but I do. and it sucks. and I am sad. 

My ex Liam is engaged to the girl he dated after me. I was always 50/50 as to whether he'd actually propose. He told me not too long ago that he felt, "you should marry the person you can't live without, and I think I could live without Jaime." 

Clearly that's changed, which is fine. But I can't lie and say I don't have regrets when I think of him. 

I got the text from my best friend last night and instantly my heart sank, my stomach felt ill and tears began to stream down my face.

He was hands down the best boyfriend I have ever had. So kind and thoughtful, loved by my family, my clients, friends, etc. He is genuinely a great person. So great that he's only ever slept with three people in his life and he is a great looking, super tall guy. He has a moral code and he always stands by it. 

He would bring me flowers every single week, make my coffee before I woke up, get me gas because he knew I hated doing it, peel my pomegranates, etc. 

One time he picked my bestfriend and I up from the airport and he brought us both big bouquets of lilies (my favorite flower). 

We broke up because I was 22 and a huge idiot. I wasn't ready for the serious relationship I was in. He was ready to propose. We lived together. This was no small relationship. In fact, it was the most important one of my life thus far. 

And I broke his heart one night in November, sitting on his couch as I read him the letter I wrote to end things. 

Referencing things that we were on two different pages, I had big goals in life and I felt he didn't want the same lifestyle I wanted and that I needed some space but that I could see us together down the road once we had both grown. 

Well, I grew, he grew, and he met Jaime. When he first met her she was used strictly to make me jealous. He promised me that no one would interfere with our friendship and if she had an issue with that, she'd have to hit the road. (I still have that email)

She had an issue with it but he stayed friendly for a long time...we'd go to dinner, grab drinks, facetime, had dinner with my mom, etc. Not all the time, but enough that we still felt connected. Then one day, it all halted. 

A few months passed and we'd exchanged a few texts here or there -- nothing too major. I met the X factor, had the best month ever with him, then he dropped the bomb that his parents were racist and he wasn't ready to date a non-Armenian, that same night I sent this email to Liam. I told myself, it's now or never and I don't want to lose Liam for life. (X-factor and I had an amazing 4th of July weekend, he dropped the bomb on the 6th and this email was sent on 7/6/14)

"Liam,

So I know I am not supposed to say or do this but in order to have any kind of sanity/closure, I need to. 

I still care about you, I want more than anything to give "us" another chance, I've never felt the way I feel about you, i don't think i ever will and I wish I was older when I had met you so my growing pains would've been out of the way. I know you have a girlfriend and you are happy. I am happy that you are happy. I don't expect anything from this email - but I need to get it off my chest so that I can just move on with my life knowing that I told you. 

I've fought the feeling for a very long time and I am no idiot - I know that you've moved on. Just know I needed to say this and I expect no response, I just mentally have to know that the words have escaped my head and have entered yours. And if you ever change your mind, I promise I won't make the same mistakes I made before. 

I wish you the best Liam, I am glad we are friends. I will likely always love you. Even if, simply as a friend. I just had to say this because I think if I don't, I won't ever be able to let someone else really love me until I can let go of you. 

Enjoy Greece. Never settle for less in life - in any aspect. 

I miss you."

He was in Greece visiting family when I sent this and I did it strategically so that he could read what I had to say without her sitting next to him. 

He never responded but we did see each other afterwards and have spoken many times since. 

But now, the door is truly closed. He has made the decision, the statement and bought the ring. 

I hope he's happy. I hope he isn't settling due to age, being comfortable, his family liking her, etc. 

I definitely have regrets.
I wish I'd met him now, not then.
Jaime is definitely one lucky girl.
and I kind of hate her.

xo

A Sad Elle