Just when I had given up on tinder, mankind, and men that reside in the city I live in. I meet Cris. 
This was my date Thursday that I'd been putting off, forgetting about, and finallyyyyy went on after the original date I'd lined up for Thursday bailed. (PS I met the original Thursday date and he was great but there was no chemistry, sadly.)

So Wednesday morning I get a text from Cris asking if we are still on for Thursday...ummmm, I said I'd see him Thursday? OOPS. Totally forgot. Since date 1 cancelled, I said sure why not? I already mentally planned to go out so I might as well just do it. Mr. Right isn't knocking at my front door so I need to get my ass out of my bed and meet people. 

Fun fact - I deleted my tinder so I have NO idea what Chris looks like...I have no idea what his last name is so I can't google him, this is surely going to be interesting...
way to go Elle.
We meet at a rooftop bar and I arrive before him. I text him where I am sitting and about 30 minutes late, he finally arrives. 

I am a bit annoyed but whatever, I am already here - might as well do this damn thing and get a few drinks out of it. Plus I wore a sweatshirt, jeans and heels - so no major waste of an outfit for this one. 

Turns out - he was well worth the wait. And likely worthy of a much cuter outfit.
The deets -
Stanford and Wharton grad(smarrrrt!), 35, ex-Stanford football player(YUM), 6'2, my favorite body type(bulky and strong), perfect teeth, insanely smart, super diverse background (half black, half ecuadorean) and a total go-getter. 

The more he tells me, the more I like. He just moved to DC from NYC and knows hardly anyone - was tired of the NYC bump and grind and is happy to be in DC for awhile HOWEVER his long term goal is to end up back in the San Francisco area! 
DING DING DING DING DING!!!!
I see NO faults. 
Except that he's definitely been a player most of his life and is likely looking to marry a unicorn. (A girl who has a VS model bod with a Harvard law degree kinda thing.)

While I am smart and pretty -- I am not on that level of either... BUT I am not going to mess this up with insecurity - no way. Plus, we have all seen the ugly chicks with the mega hot husbands and we aren't THAT unevenly matched so there is hope. ;)

He gets up to use the restroom and I decide I need to as well. There is only one bathroom on the roof so as he comes out, he sees me waiting, wraps his arms around me and kisses me. 

This was an amazing kiss. He is so tall and bulky, it's all just coming together. AND look at that confidence. aaaaahhhhh YES! 

I get back to the table and he's grabbed the check and is paying. He says, I have to go home and do more work but I want to see you again for sure - how is next Thursday? (Guys, planning date 2 on date 1 is SUCH A WIN) 
I say yes, he proceeds to kiss me again and wow, I am having all types of renewed faith. 

We walk outside and he pushes me against the side of the brick building and kisses me yettttt again. This feels 3290429304830948x better than anything with Jake ever does and it's rivaling how it feels when I kiss the X factor.... a kiss really can make or break everything. 

So there's that.
He texted me this morning, "how was your weekend beautiful?" and I am thrilled to see him again.

BUT
I have zero expectations. 
Most of the time people will let you down so I am not getting attached.
I am just excited for a second date with a guy who doesn't totally suck. It's rare these days. If it doesn't workout, at least I know guys like this do exist in the world and that we just have to keep chugging along. 

Stay tuned for...a NEW guest blogger who will be writing weekly on the trials and tribulations of dating in the sunshine state, Jake updates(aka has he professed his love yet-ps he is my date to a business function tomorrow night), maybeee an X factor update (don't hold your breath), AND round two with Cris! 

Happy Monday,
​
Elle

Tanned skin. Hot, fit bodies on sandy beaches and drinks by the water…
This sounds like paradise, right? 

Welcome to the Sunshine State and the ridiculous dating scene that goes along with it!  
Elle and I have practically grown up together, shared a lot of memories, and now unfortunately sharing in the same misfortune of finding terribly, horrible men in our cities.  I moved to the sunshine state a few years back for a new faces and scenery after a horrible break up with my boring, plain and very small town boyfriend. Best decision ever. 

Everyone is beautiful and friendly. This seemed pretty promising and I was eager to quickly get back into the dating scene!  Since I was new to the area, I decided to check out “Match.com” before succumbing to the app we all love to hate, Tinder.  I had a theory that guys who were willing to actually pay to find a woman would be decent, established men. Wrong!! It doesn’t matter if you pay or sign up for a free site. Guys in certain cities in Florida are typically all the same and looking for one thing, attractive women to have sex with. 
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much as the next gal but that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m not looking to slut it up with every hot professional guy I meet.  I can’t be mad at the guys here for only wanting that because: 1. They’re hot and usually established and 2. Girls are willing to give it up because of this. It’s like Goldie Locks and the 3 *cocks*, “This one is too small, this one is too big, and this one is juuusst right!” After a few disastrous dates on Match.com and listening to Elle’s Tinder adventures (and Tinder disasters), I decided to download the popular app and give it a try. That was a year ago and here I am, still running around with freaks, weirdoes and the attractive, professional men who still want to be playboys in the sunny, sexy city of _____.   
When you come across Tinder profiles like this...

you truly begin to lose faith in the male species. I took a few breaks from the Tinder dating world (which is really my main dating outlet) but it pulled me back in yet again and I have decided to try it once more. I have a “date” this weekend with someone I actually met a few months ago and we both went ghost on each other. Initially, he was gorgeous and PERFECT but very busy with work so we were unable to meet up and I lost interest. He recently reached out to me and we reconnected but as I get to know him more via texting, I’m beginning to have my doubts. Hopefully it’s just me expecting the worst. Wish me luck this weekend! I will be sure to prove everyone with an update. 
We all can relate to the frightening online and terrible dating scene, right? 
Share your thoughts and stories below so we don’t feel alone!

Check back often to read more about my disastrous, hilarious dating in a pretty city located in sunny Florida.  

xxx Zoe xxx

Alright so because I technically don't have anyone "new" on the roster here's the stat update:

1. Saw Jake Fri + Sat night. Friday we didn't do anything and it was boring. Saturday I stopped by after my date that was conveniently located next to his house and drove him and his dudes to the bar next to mine. Long story short - he didn't even offer/try to buy me a drink. STELLAR. 

2. Jakes BFF who was in town visiting was telling me that he really likes me. Well, duh. Already knew that. I responded with, "Jake unfortunately doesn't have a romantic bone in his body and I am looking for my future husband, that is not him. He is a lot of fun, we enjoy hanging out but that is all it is and I am pretty sure I have verbalized that..." His friend: "Elle, you're an amazing girl and I know he can step it up, he has it in him" Me: "Sorry but I'm really not looking for a project." --Sigh. Annoying. BUY ME A DRINK DAMMIT.

3. Was supposed to see Jake last night but was too lazy and decided to organize my closet instead...Priorities.

4. I have a date tonight. Well I had two and now I have one. One guy from Tinder who actually had a lot of potential (we failed to execute a date and we ghosted) hit me up and we planned to get drinks tonight. THEN he realizes theres a football he can't miss so that's where that ended...romantic... 
So date 2 I keep pushing off because I can't remember a single detail about him.

5. Old guys from the past are popping up with texts here and there -- nothing major. I met this guy at a bar during my friends birthday last year in NYC...I was dating the X factor then but I am not some lame ass who can't talk to people just because I have a boyfriend. Anyways -- he was amazing, we had a great conversation and we became friends. The week before X factor and I broke up for the very first time back in December we took a trip to NYC. I got to NYC early that Friday and went out with my new friend (Seth) for dinner and drinks. Told X factor it was just dinner with a friend (that is all it was) however, it showed the potential Seth had which I clearly hadn't grasped before. We had a TON in common, we had so much fun, and he was a great person to spend my Friday with. (He also bought me all my drinks AND dinner, what a winnnnnner)
 I did feel a little guilty because Seth opened my eyes to the kind of guy I could be dating if I wasn't with X but then X and I broke up four days later on Christmas and all of my guilt was gone. For the record, i didn't cheat - so don't even go there peeps! 
LONG STORY SHORT - I'd like to see Seth again. Last I knew, he had a girlfriend. Not sure where that stands, don't want to pry, butttttt I am curious. I also wouldn't mind a boyfriend in NYC...he's a wall street guy so he's super busy which is good and any excuse to frequent NYC sounds excellent to me....He also has impeccable fashion, food, and style sense. The new condo he bought is GORGEOUSSSSSSSNESS. Seth = definitely a catch. 
Oh and he's short. BUT that's okay, he's got the rest locked down.

That is it my friends. 
Hopefully tonights date isn't a dud. 
Fingers crossed.
xoxo
Elle

First off, how goofy does that sound? To think that we live in a world where going on a date that didn't originate from the internet is UNUSUAL. 
How sad. 
I think I should start a movement to get people off the apps and back into reality. What should we call it? Give me ideas people - maybe we can make something go viral...I'm sure I'm not the only attractive person out there who is sick of online b/s. 

Anyways, I went out with my match from the matchmaker on Saturday. I'm not going to sugarcoat his name because I honestly don't care and will never see him again SO meet Travis. 40, never married, no kids, workaholic, no hobbies, 5'11, blonde. He was so very nice, nothing "wrong" with him except that he has minimal friends, minimal hobbies and talked about the same things over and over and over and over again. We went for mexican at one of my favorite places (because yes, I planned our date - how romantic) and when he told me he doesn't really drink, I decided not to order a drink and get iced tea instead. 
WORST IDEA EVER.
Boring dates can ONLY be remedied with alcohol. Deduct the alcohol and you basically feel trapped in a nightmare. 
Icing on the cake - he decides to order a drink! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID MEEEEEE. Now it's too late, I look weird if I make the waiter come back and re-take my drink order. Ugh. Making rookie errors all over the damn place.
Travis orders a mojito (too feminine for my taste for a first date drink but whatever) 

The date lasts 1.5 hours and by the end, I can't get out of there fast enough. 
He lives out in the suburbs which is also kinddddd of a dealbreaker....nothing fun happens in the boonies, why would I want to sign up to spend half my time out there dating someone? I am a fun seeker. Suburbs = no fun. This = make no sense.

However, the very worst part of the date was when....
He told me that in 40 years on this planet, he is TOO PICKY TO TRY SUSHI!!!!! And he is a very picky eater in general, for example - he hates guacamole. 
NO CAN DO. BYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYE.
Sushi is a STAPLE. As are avocados. But OMG. You live in a SHELL. A BORING, BORING SHELL. HOW SAD!!!!!! 
I just felt really bad for the guy - his life seemed so boring and unfulfilling... I always say, thank God there are people in the world who want that corporate/government job/life where you make decent money forever, get a little retirement account and healthcare plan and are a slave to someone else's agenda for life because that leaves less competition for people like myself who want to do BIG things in BIG ways and say F the corporate model/mindset. Sorry, tangent. 
Point is -
no match was made.

Matchmaker emailed me the next day asking what I thought...I replied...


"He was super nice, definitely a wonderful person. However - he lacks humor completely and seems void of having hobbies outside of work... He is also a self proclaimed picky eater and has never in his life tried sushi, etc. So sadly, as sweet as he is - I don't think we are a good fit. I'm far too adventurous for him. 

Good news was - he was a total gentleman and we did have a lot of odd things in common, which made the date semi-enjoyable. 
Thank you for the opportunity to meet him."

So hopefully miss matchmaker has some gems hiding somewhere because I'm not opposed to doing it this way. Involves very minimal effort on my part and who doesn't enjoy a free meal that didn't involved 2349823947247hours of texting to get to? (playing the game with no damn shame, rawr!)

ta ta for now,

Elle

So  my friend G was inspired by my rebellion against online dating and he decided to chronicle his dating by the hour for us. La di da. Ladies - this is what NOT to do.
---
Online dating by the hour:
14:00 (approx): a mutual match!
14:00-18:00 (approx): intermittent messaging begins with her explaining that we talked on another dating site and nothing resulted; mild flirtation and interest
18:00 (approx): she gives me her number without any prompting and asks me to text
20:37-21:18: texting, with far less flirtation and interest
21:30: she calls, even though I tell her I'm watching the Presidential debate; so I don't answer
23:32: I text, saying why I didn't answer the call and saying thank you for deleting the match
00:42: she explains that she deleted the account and got food poisoning (why is the latter even relevant?)

What have we learned? 
(1) give a guy a chance (more than a couple of hours) to ask for your number
(2) give a guy a chance (more than an hour) to call
(3) don't call when he tells you he's focused on something else
(4) DO NOT call 7 hours after making a match
(5) don't be a reactionary bitch when a guy doesn't answer the phone
(6) keep your digestive issues to yourself until at least after the first in-person meeting
---
This chick was trying to lock it DOWWWWWN. 

AGGRESSIVE. raaaawr!

Happy Monday!

Alright so I have officially HAD it with Tinder. I have used tinder on and off since April 1st 2014. AND I have met a ton of people from it, some decent guys who became friends, the love of my life, + a bunch of losers. So I guess i have had a true full spectrum experience. 

But now I am DONE. 

I keep giving up on my X, well now I am giving up on Tinder. 

Today, I was sitting at work with a few moments of downtime and decided to log in and swipe around...
I could not bring myself to get past more than 10 guys. So many shirtless pics, selfies, and just overall douchey things -- it made me angry, sick and pissed off. Had to delete. Couldn't delete fast enough actually. 

and then

"there was a problem deleting your account, try again later."

FUCK you tinder. 

Finally though - it deleted. 

I kind of enjoy how when you delete tinder, all your matches who you were talking to, are left wondering whether you blocked them or not. I hope they think that's what happened, more punch to the ego with that. POW, douchebag!! 

Anyhow, I am giving up online dating for a month, if not the rest of my life. September 15-October 15th = no online dating of ANY kind.

I am really quite excited about it. Eliminating the online game means you're left with REAL LIFE! So I challenge anyone else who is sick of online SHIT to join me in the "lets meet real people in real life challenge!" AKA let's be old school about this shit and see how it goes. 

Deleting the apps felt SO good. Get offffff my phone, goodbye Tinder, goodbye Hinge, hate you Match. 

Viva la freedom! 

I feel better already.

Stay tuned for adventures that don't involve meeting on your iphone screen.

xo

Elle

Since I posted last, a few things have happened...

1. I was talked into going on a date with the over eager Toad who wants to do business whom I wrote about in my most recent post. A girlfriend of mine happens to know him and said I need to just give it a chance. So I think that might occur Thursday... so excited.........

2. I went out for a drink with a guy I ghosted on earlier in August...who happened to be the HOTTEST guy I have ever went on a date with. Just WOW. It's the best feeling when someone exceeds their photos, has a personality and is just sooooo easy on the eyes. That was Tim. Our only issue is that he is 28, definitely not the most mature, and isn't looking to settle down (aka get married) for a few more years. He is a babe though...6'3, muscles, tan, brown eyes, ahhhh delish.

3. I met with a professional matchmaker. I had met her at an event I went to with my girlfriends and finally I decided to email her and set up a meeting. So I went on Saturday and we chatted for an hour. She has someone in mind for me already which is flattering, however he is 40...and not my type at all, blonde and shit. In the spirit of being open minded, I agreed to go. 
One date never killed, right? (well, actually I bet it has but let's just not think about that.) 

Beyond that - my weekend was one of the tamest in months. I have given up hard liquor because I suck at drinking and I really don't even enjoy it so I didn't partake in any social activities besides dinners out and the gym. 

So I apologize for being a bore. It happens from time to time.
Stay tuned for more later. This week is chaos with work so I might not have anything too thrilling until the weekend ;) 

xo

Elle

Sooooooo this Persian guy Cameron... We match, we chat, and one night he calls.

I'm with Jake on my roof drinking wine and because I don't save TinderToad numbers until we have met, I have NO idea who is calling. So I answer incase it's business or something.

"HEY!! what's up?!"

"Uhhhh...who is this?"

"Cameron!"

"OH. Sorry, didn't save the name... Uhhhh can we talk another time, I'm busy and uhhhh...."

"Oh, sure....that's fine, I just wanted to call and say hi."

(We haven't met. We matched yesterday. Why are you calling me? What the fuck? Hope Jake doesn't see how awkward I just got....ugh, weird.)

"Okay, well I have to go, goodbye."

So the next night I call him back - he had texted asking me to so I did. It was a pretty decent hour long convo. Pleasantly surprised.

Then

Sunday rolls around and we are texting. I mention I am moving in with my best guy friend who also happens to be Persian and I am very excited about it. He says... "Don't you think living with a guy will ruin your chances at finding a husband?"

I'll just attach the text so you can see for yourself.



After that gem of a text, he calls. Proceeds to talk my ear off for an hour and I am ready to block him. Ugh, TOO much, too soon!!!! My friend listens to the convo as I have it on speaker, muted as I get ready for my day. Where do I find these guys?

Next day - he calls again. I don't answer. I never tell guys what I do for work so he hears my voicemail recording and boom, cat is out of the bag. UGH.

So thanks tinder for another dude who wants to be my biz partner - gonna pass on that. (And at least I was nice about it)

So damn annoyed.

Happy Friday.

Elle

Yeah, I suppose sometimes I can be. 
But I am not referring to myself. 

Ah, Jake. Such a nice guy. Lots of fun to spend time with, great distraction, good person. 

But he is the cheapest guy I have ever met, ever. 

He seems to have a pretty good job and what not so it perplexes me as to why he is so cheap but I guess everyone has their reasons?

However, if you can't afford to date you probablyyyyyy shouldn't? 

We have went on four dates in total. Like actual go to a restaurant kind of thing. 

We can deduct one because it was a group of like 8 of us and maybe it's awkward for him to pay in a big group setting. 

So three.

Date 1 - sushi. He paid, I didn't offer - you invited me, no chance I am offering to split.

Date 2 - After hanging out about 13490x he invited me to grab dinner and go ride the ferris wheel at this outdoor park thing in the city. I said sure. Before he hangs up he says....
"Don't think I am taking you for a steak dinner or anything, okay?"

I laugh awkwardly....ummmm, okay. I don't like steak so that is fine.
Click.

We go to a mexican spot that is very reasonably priced. I decide I am not really that hungry after all and I don't see the point in eating when I'm not so I'll pass on food. I apologize for being a rude date who isn't eating or drinking for that matter. He replies, "less bill for me, its awesome!" 

EW. Who says that?! 

He did pay for parking in the garage and riding the ferris wheel....I however didn't offer to help with either because technically this was our 2nd real date anddddd I didn't even eat.

Date 3 - double date on a Sunday with his roommate and his girlfriend. I ordered 2 glasses of $7 wine. As did he. Bill comes, I pull out cash and he doesn't stop me. 

Worst part - this dude isn't my boyfriend, so I guess because he's not and I've been very upfront that a boyfriend is the last thing I want -- he isn't offering or trying as hard? IDK. But anyways, his roommate who is legit dating this girl --- SPLITS THE BILL WITH HER. To her this must be normal because she didn't seem shocked or appalled whatsoever. 

I've never had a cheap boyfriend before I really don't know how people deal with this. I date mostly middle eastern/mediterranean so maybe this is cultural? 

Someone PLEASE explain. This seems so off base to me. Especially considering Jake told me straight up that he want's to be my "boyfriend."

XO 
Elle

I just wrote the worlds LONGEST POST detailing the last chapter of X factor and somehow it vanished. I spent an hour writing, I am so angry!!!! So to cheer myself up - here's some chaos from the past week.

Readers - this is the MOST important message this blog has to convey...please, please promise me that you will NEVER date an Armenian. ever ever ever ever.
If you meet one, run. 

It just isn't worth it. 
I wonder why God put X in my path. Why did I fall in love with him? What is the greater purpose to this? It's been so much misery -- why, why, why? 
I always told myself, "nothing great comes easily so this is just the challenge you have to face and conquer." 
But I have continued to stand by and fight with him. 
I didn't conquer.
I sat through 1.5hours with a crazy, racist, lunatic -- and no conquering occurred....

Let's get back to this starbucks date with crazy G. 
(im dreading this story so much i have sat here avoiding this post for the past 45 minutes....)
So G tells me she has had one boyfriend before meeting her husband. Seeing that she is a slob, it kind of makes sense....
She married her husband within 3 months of meeting him. 
Her family won't accept him because he isn't armenian enough....his family is from Turkey and that's just not good enough for these looney toons. 
His family won't speak to her. 
They almost broke up so she moved to Texas for a job to get away from him and reflect. 

Clearly she is in a very strong position to give us advice.

She says that in life, your parents always come first because they gave you life...then your spouse and children. 
Funny, my family has always said the exact opposite....But okay.

"Elle, you have made X miserable for the past year...this is selfish, you are destroying his family."

"I am destroying his family? My door is always open and always has been....How exactly do you think I am destroying them? By being me?"

"You guys have vastly different backgrounds and this is just not a good match."

(yeah, I wasn't raised racist and my parents don't put conditions on their love towards me sooooo I would agree we were raised differently -- however, I bit my tongue because I knew this encounter would be repeated ASAP to the Armenian mafia) 

"You claim to be Christian but you have Muslim roots..."

"LISTEN, I am so sick of you people telling me what I do believe and what I don't. I don't go to Church to prove a point to others, I go for myself and I am sick of defending this. There are many different types of Persian and my family happens to NOT be religious, I don't know how many ways I can explain and dumb this down for you!" (yes, I actually said that)

"Well, it's more than just religion....his mother feels you guys do not complement each other."

"Funny, don't you think meeting me would be a prerequisite for determining such a factor?"

(X factor sits zoning into space the entire time, leaving me to get eaten by this wolf) 

"Haven't you guys broken up a few times and YOU dated others?"

Finally X factor steps in, "we have both dated others and it's a waste of time, we know we want each other." 

"Well, if you both were serious about this, you wouldn't be breaking up."

To this, I agree. Why the hell does this idiot not understand that each time we break up we ruin all credibility???? 

It gets worse -- this goes on for 1.5 hours. I leave ready to cry, vomit, and scream.

We get in the car and I can't speak. He keeps saying, "Elle, talk to me, talk to me!"

I just shake my head.

I am stunned. 

Finally - "Aren't you embarrassed that THIS is what you bring to the table?? Game is over. I am not doing this anymore. I do not deserve to be picked apart by a complete stranger who gathered her facts from your mother and google."

Forgot to mention one of the first things G says to me, "I did my research on you, just keep that in mind as you describe yourself." 

(Well, then I assume you saw all the press coverage my business has received and my career background BITCH so let's cut the shit.)

That was the last member of the crazyclan I met. 

Stay tuned for his not so warm encounter with my family.

Elle

Making a lifestyle out of being a flip flop...

I'm sure its not a conscious decision to be a flip flop but at some point you have to realize that is all you are, right?

You'd think my X would see that he has been pulling the same shit for a year thus he cannot be taken more seriously than a pair of beach shoes. 

A cheap pair at that. & I am no longer surprised by any of his antics. 

Sadly, I have come to expect it. 

So when I left off in August -- we cut the cord and weren't speaking. That lasted 24 hours. He emails me saying, "Elle, I am here if you ever need me....I mean it."

I respond -- FURIOUS. 
Here for me? Give me a BREAK YOU CLOWN. If you were "here for me" you wouldn't be playing the same games -- you don't get the solace of "being there when I need you" if you can't be consistent. 
JUST NO.

So anyways, I can't even accurately recall what got me to let him back in...I think it was that I decided to book a flight back to SoCal to visit my baby cousin for her birthday and our trips aligned perfectly for the first time ever. 

OH and his mother decided to make an impromptu trip East to visit....She never visits so it was quite suspect...I told myself, hold on and hopefully meet the mom. If she just met me, I could thaw this ice block. 

He put up all of our photos, all the cards I've given etc. Just to try and prove that this is his life and heres proof that I am a good, loving gal. 

She tells him she came to talk him out of me - that is her purpose in visiting. Proceeds to try and rip me apart at every seam. His brother stalked my instagram which was open (I have nothing to hide) and went on this crazy witch hunt over every single photo I have posted. His mom called me a whore, slut, scam artist, manipulator, gold digger, etc. Glad to see that my instagram conveyed that....Funny how I post 90% cat photos - but hey, whatever. Clearly no one is paying attention to those. 

She agrees to meet me then rescinds. Throws a fit and says if I show up, she will cab to the airport and leave and tell the family even more crazy shit. 

These people are just thriving in their self imposed misery. Clearly they just want to control him. This is disgusting. Long story short - we didn't meet, she left and a few days later off to Cali I go.

Fast forward -- we decide to introduce each other to our extended families. After 15 months, its about damn time, right?

SO first up. I meet his uncle and cousin in Burbank. 
I am happy to report that they were fantastic, so nice and approved of me completely. What a strong start. I felt great and hopeful, FINALLLLYYY some reassurance these people aren't all lunatics. I can hang with this!!! 

Next day....
I go to the gym and return to a text saying, "my uncle and aunt now refuse to meet you because they don't want to get my parents upset...." 
These are grown ass adults -- seriously?! 
Well, I have to drive up there to pick him up so I guess I'm just going to drive 1.5hours to the Valley (which is a disgusting place, FYI) and won't meet them...coooooool. 

I arrive. 
I call him and let him know I am outside but I have to pee due to drinking way too much water post workout and ask if I can run in. (You know how it is when you're stuck on a highway and just want to get off and pee ASAP but you have a fear of public restrooms so you just keep waiting for your destination?) 

So he tells them, "She has to use the restroom, ok?" 
I  hear in the background them saying "no. no, no!" 

He says, "this is bullshit -- come in Elle." 

So I run inside and pee. I walk out, he is grabbing his bags (I'm like dude, lets HUSTLE - THIS IS FUCKING AWKWARD) and his uncle and cousin walk out of the kitchen. (I guess his aunt went into hiding?) 

Uncle says... "So I heard you had to use the restroom...."
Me: (in my head, well duh...I wasn't looking for a reason to come in where I am blatantly unwanted) "Yes, sorry I drank 3 liters of water on the way up here...."
Uncle: "Well it is nice to meet you. Have fun in Orange County."
Me: "Thanks, pleasure to meet you too."

We leave. 

How fucking close minded? This cannot be real life. I am not some piece of trash who has been married 4x and has 12 kids. WTFFFFFFFFF.
(Sorry for all the cursing, it makes my blood boil that my X has family this shitty...)

The next part is where things get reaaaaaalllllyyyyy interesting. 

We are off to starbucks to meet his cousin G for coffee. 
He hasn't told me much about her beside the fact that she is related to his moms side and lived with them for awhile....
and she is an opera singer? 

So she shows up. A bitttttt rough around the edges and to avoid offending people - I will leave it at that...

First thing -- "tell me about yourself Elle..."
Welcome to the interview process, damn. 

I tell her the basics and say if I didn't cover something, feel free to ask. I have nothing to hide. Oh and I am a Christian, let's just get that out there. (since apparently religion is where all of this racism stems from) 

In my wildest dreams, I couldn't have predicted what the next 1.5 hours in Grenada Hills, CA had in store for me....

Stay tuned for some blatant racist shit and the breaking point for me and my X. 

Elle

So as I sit here gchatting with a college friend who thinks I am fool for taking back the X for the month of August -- I am surprising myself by telling him that I don't regret it.

Granted, this has been 15 months of my life. 15 months older. 15 months no closer to getting married and starting a family. 15 months....

The X  factor taught me so much about WHO I want to marry. He embodied everything I wanted and so much more...but when things got really hard, tough decisions had to be made, he would rather push them off than make a choice and stick to it. My future husband has to put me before everyone else and X couldn't do it.

He showed me that I can have everything I want in a guy. Loving, adoring, funny, wealthy, successful, etc. I don't just have to pick two items on that list -- I can really have them all. Maybe I sell myself short by thinking I am not deserving of the whole list, but now I know -- I deserve it and I can find it. 

And then after further thought -- he taught me I have only truly been in love once before him. 

I've had a handful of very serious relationships...all of which we said "I love you." 
BUT
My entire life I have mistaken
comfort + attraction + time = love

I kept wondering, "why the heck can't I just close the door on X factor and move forward like I have with everyone except my HS X? What makes these two different??"

What makes them different is that I felt it in my bones from the very beginning. It's the weirdest thing to try and explain but it was different. Time had no factor in the equation. We never got bored of each other. I was always so happy to see them, even if we had the worst fight. It was just this crazy feeling.

Every SINGLE guy I have dated in between my HS X and X factor has bored me. EVERY SINGLE ONE. 

So now, I realize I have truly only been in love twice. 

People who say, "love grows over time" aren't lying to you. It does grow over time. But the kind that I want is that gut feeling -- that gets stronger and stronger over time. 

This is a big breakthrough. It sets the precedent for my future endeavors....and I hope that you all take something away from this too. 

Don't go on 12 dates with a guy you just don't feel it with. If it's not there, it's just not. 

Butterflies really do count.... I spent close to five years with my HS X and every time I saw him, I felt it. Even now - he is engaged and when we run into each other, I still get that butterfly/nervous feeling. 

Don't sell yourself short. You get ONE shot to marry the right person. Don't fuck it up.

xo
Elle 

Holy shit.

It's been ONE month since I posted/turned the blog to password protected mode to prevent the X factors PSYCHOTIC family from finding it and using it against me. 

So much has happened. I am a complete FOOL. It's like practice what you preach -- or don't and fail big times and have no one to blame beyond yourself and your love sick heart. 

So don't worry, I know exactly who is to blame. Problem is -- so much happened in this month that I don't even knowwwww where to begin...

So here's the readers digest version...

X factor ran back at full speed. Making promises and accusations he couldn't live upto (what a surprise) and we spent the month of August loosely "together". He met my entire family in California....I met a few members of his, most of which are low class assholes (also, how NOT SURPRISING). 

He got wishy-washy again last Thursday and I said GAME OVER - GTFO. 

So now I have blocked him yet again via phone and now via email. 

Show up with a proposal and a ring, maybe you'll get my attention. 

Don't wanna man up to mommy and daddy? Then get used to life without me.

My family actually staged an intervention....they never get involved heavily with my relationships so this was a pretty big deal. My aunt said you need to cut the cord, clean, clean cut. 

He needs to feel the void and have reality slap him. If he still chooses to let racism dictate his life (aka his parents) then he was never the right guy and you will win in either outcome. 

So I listened for once. I cut that shit OFF. 

He emailed me yesterday, asking if I'd meet one of his cousins who lives locally to us... DUDE - you had 15 months of my life to introduce us and you DIDNT. Oddly enough, this is the cousin who is half armenian and is married to a non-armenian and participates 0% in Armenian shit. AKA she might be normal. Way to wait til I cut the cord.

He calls his best friend and cons him to call me. I tell his BFF (who is also a close friend to me) that he can tell X to fuck off and leave me alone. He said that X factor is scared he really lost me this time....GOOD. 

I am so so so so over this. After meeting his low class family, I'm reconsidering why I think I still want anything to do with him. They are all pretty terrible....and all very racist. Redeeming qualities, 0. 

SO I am happy to report -- I am back on the tindersphere.

I am still dating Jake. (who might be falling in love, send help)

I am not crying and I am not sad. 

BITCHES I AM BACK. 

Stay tuned for flashback posts from the past month + all the future shenanigans of Elle single in the city. 

Sorry for the hiatus, thanks for sticking with me! 

Elle