Greetings from the happiest place on earth...California!
I arrived Saturday and boy do we have some stories to cover ;)
My best best best friend on the planet just recently got out of a LTR and has been pretty broken up over it. In an attempt to lift her spirits and remind her that there IS hope out there for girls like us, I forced her ass back onto tinder and straight into a group with me.
I landed at 1pm...she refused to DL tinder until about 4pm...We wanted to go out at 10pm...six hours to get shit DONE. I can work with that.
So I start swiping up a storm -- only accepting guys in groups. They'd message nearly instantly and I'd tell them the bar we were headed to and to meet there around 10:30pm...easier than I thought, no #'s exchanged, good, good, gooooood.
We get to the bar and my tinder is blowing up. ALL the guys I invited somehow actually showed up....apparently at the same time. So I decide to stop responding and let whichever grouper finds us first, win for the night. Smart, right?
Meet Mo and Dan. Mo is the hot one, Dan is the not as hot one...Ugly one gravitates directly to me which is PERFECT because my bestie needs every hot guy possible in her life right now.
BTW, both these toads are persian...yay for jumping in head first.
Dan is AGGRESSIVE. Within 4 minutes, he's stuck his tongue down my throat. Jesus, this is what I have to deal with all night? Sigh...eye on the prize, take one for the dream team...
We discuss life, locations, works, what we are looking for, etc. He goes, "Elle, you're so perfect. What do I have to do to get you to move back to OC?"
Me: "Ah, I'd like to but not quite yet."
Dan: "I'll come to DC in two weeks to visit, let me know when and the ticket is booked. I have plenty of money."
Me: "We just met about 15 minutes ago, let's relax"
Dan: "When you find the girl you've been searching for, there is no waiting. I want to spend all week together."
Me: "I'm actually here for my family and I am quite busy..."
Dan: "I'd love to meet them."
OOOOOOOKay bro. Thirst level is at an all time fucking high. TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH.
I arrived Saturday and boy do we have some stories to cover ;)
My best best best friend on the planet just recently got out of a LTR and has been pretty broken up over it. In an attempt to lift her spirits and remind her that there IS hope out there for girls like us, I forced her ass back onto tinder and straight into a group with me.
I landed at 1pm...she refused to DL tinder until about 4pm...We wanted to go out at 10pm...six hours to get shit DONE. I can work with that.
So I start swiping up a storm -- only accepting guys in groups. They'd message nearly instantly and I'd tell them the bar we were headed to and to meet there around 10:30pm...easier than I thought, no #'s exchanged, good, good, gooooood.
We get to the bar and my tinder is blowing up. ALL the guys I invited somehow actually showed up....apparently at the same time. So I decide to stop responding and let whichever grouper finds us first, win for the night. Smart, right?
Meet Mo and Dan. Mo is the hot one, Dan is the not as hot one...Ugly one gravitates directly to me which is PERFECT because my bestie needs every hot guy possible in her life right now.
BTW, both these toads are persian...yay for jumping in head first.
Dan is AGGRESSIVE. Within 4 minutes, he's stuck his tongue down my throat. Jesus, this is what I have to deal with all night? Sigh...eye on the prize, take one for the dream team...
We discuss life, locations, works, what we are looking for, etc. He goes, "Elle, you're so perfect. What do I have to do to get you to move back to OC?"
Me: "Ah, I'd like to but not quite yet."
Dan: "I'll come to DC in two weeks to visit, let me know when and the ticket is booked. I have plenty of money."
Me: "We just met about 15 minutes ago, let's relax"
Dan: "When you find the girl you've been searching for, there is no waiting. I want to spend all week together."
Me: "I'm actually here for my family and I am quite busy..."
Dan: "I'd love to meet them."
OOOOOOOKay bro. Thirst level is at an all time fucking high. TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH.
I look around for my bestie and there she is smiling, laughing and enjoying her time with Mo...fuck, I can't mess this up. I'll keep on this Dan train.
Dan: "Lets have brunch tomorrow. You, me, my puppy and your dad. I'm sure he will love me, who wouldn't want a successful persian man for their daughter?"
Me: "I have a lot of plans tomorrow, later in the week!"
Starts sucking my face off again.
Dan:"I'll free my schedule for you."
Me:"I honestly don't know what my week looks like yet...."
Dan: "ARE YOU TELLING ME I AM NOT A PRIORITY, ELLE?"
Me: "Yes jackass, that is EXACTLY what I am saying. I met you legit 1 hour ago, chill the fuck out!"
Dan: "This is unacceptable Elle!"
grabs my arm as I stand up to leave
Me: "DONT touch me. Leave me the fuck alone, we are DONE here."
I run to find my bestie, bar is closing anyways, the lights are all on...shes taking her sweet time with Mo and I tell her I'll meet her outside.
I go outside and sit on a bench next to some tall fella. He comments that I look cold, I say I'm tired, cold and running away from a stalker. I look up, stalker is directly in front of me.
"Hey, tall fella, can you wrap your arms around me and save me from this freak ahead? I know that's weird but I am desperate!"
He obliges and I stand there wrapped up with a stranger as Dan looks on, pissed as hell.
Finally bestie arrives and we depart.
We go to call uber and it's 200% surge pricing....FUCKKKKK that's $50 minimum to get home.
"Bestie, gimme your phone."
I dial Mo. "Hey Mo, it's Elle on besties phone. Can you guys drive us home? No cabs..."
Yep. I got driven home by the guy I pissed off supremely...we barely made it alive, he was driving 100mph like the psychopath he is. We get out and he speeds off, as fast as possible.
Sadly, Mo didn't contact bestie after this...I'm betting my money Dan forbid him from having anything to do with us...bruised egos are the worst.
So stay tuned for....an update on the guys back home, tomorrows taco tuesday group date and friday nights fellas. I'm making shit happen, as always.
#slayallday
Elle
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